Open Letter to Bruce Darnell

Dear Bruce,

Bruce

Please stop. You are embarassing us. We don’t know how you achieved such fame in Germany, since no one had ever heard of you before, but really, all of Germany is not laughing with you.

Maybe take some time off and take some German classes, but please never, ever appear on television again, until you get the basic vocabulary down.

To any Germans reading this, we don’t know who this Bruce guy is. Please don’t think he would ever have a chance of success aside of being a laughing stock in your country.

So, Bruce, on behalf of all Americans that live or lived in Germany during your tenure as Germany’s national court jester, please stop.

deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden

17 Responses to “Open Letter to Bruce Darnell”

  1. Bettina Says:

    Drama, baby, Drama!

  2. Astrid Says:

    Es ist egal, ob die Amerikaner “unseren” Brucie kennen, er hat den sexiesten Arsch von allen Amerikanern!!!
    Und ausserdem sind seine Sprüche Kult!

  3. Jana Says:

    Man kann sich jedenfalls gut über ihn amüsieren………kann aber auch zuviel werden!

  4. Thomas P. Says:

    I also think he is funny - hmm. perhaps because I’m German :D

  5. Thommy Says:

    Wonderful! You is so right. May be you can make him stop his work ;)

  6. tanja Says:

    Believe us: we’d love to sack him!
    Unfourtunately German triple-pc-ness will never ever let us:
    -he’s gay
    -he’s black
    -you won’t take him back either!

  7. bunki Says:

    but can’t we send him somewhere? Maybe Austria?

  8. Hugo Z Hackenbusch Says:

    How he survived, serving in an airborne division of the U.S. Army, is still a mystery to me…

  9. John Says:

    Ist das der Wahrheit tanja? Das ist so ganz schade.

  10. Ju Honisch Says:

    As long as he does not open his mouth, he is very nice to look at. Eye-candy. Successful relationsships have been known to be based on that. It is, after all, precisely what my mother said about my father when she met him: As long as he does not open his mouth, he …

  11. GermanGirl Says:

    Ever watched America’s next top model? Look at the judges in that show and then rethink your statement that somebody like Bruce could not be successful in America, lol

  12. Tsherman Says:

    Remember Ricky, the afternoon talk show host on SAT.1?

  13. HermanTheGerman Says:

    See? That’s the Hasselhoff of the 21st Century! Why do you Americans keep sending your clowns to us? We don’t want them!

  14. Bird of Prey Says:

    At least, unlike Hasselhoff, Darnell hasn’t done any songs (yet!! *dreimal auf Holz geklopft*) ;-)

  15. westernworld Says:

    “die handtasche muß leben …” & “drama, drama, drama” a priceless gems.

    not unlike the famous trappatoni speech or mr.stoibers collected works.

  16. Suzume Says:

    ahaha, but Bruce rocks xD

    He’s funny ^^

  17. simi1983 Says:

    don’t worry. bruce can be seen as funny or annoying but i think no one sees him as the archetypical american ;)

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