Dear Bruce,
Please stop. You are embarassing us. We don’t know how you achieved such fame in Germany, since no one had ever heard of you before, but really, all of Germany is not laughing with you.
Maybe take some time off and take some German classes, but please never, ever appear on television again, until you get the basic vocabulary down.
To any Germans reading this, we don’t know who this Bruce guy is. Please don’t think he would ever have a chance of success aside of being a laughing stock in your country.
So, Bruce, on behalf of all Americans that live or lived in Germany during your tenure as Germany’s national court jester, please stop.
deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden
Hallo mal wieder, Astrid,hier die Übersetzung:
Ey Bruce, mach ma die Ohren auf
Bruce, alter!
Hör auf man! Du machst uns alle lächerlich! Wir wissen mal echt nicht, wie Du so scheissberühmt werden konntest, weil vorher kannte Dich auch kein Schwein, man. Aber ey, checkst Du’s nicht?! Die Deutschen hauen sich weg vor Lachen, nur leider nicht mit Dir, klar?!
Alter, Du solltest echt mal abchecken, ob so’n paar krasse Deutschkurse nicht helfen würden! Aber man, zeig Deine Hackfresse nicht wieder im deutschen Fernsehen, bevor Du die Grammatik nicht beherrscht, ey!
An alle krassen Deutschen, die sich das hier reinziehen: Wir kennen diesen Bruce-Typen nicht. Glaubt ja nicht, dass er noch was anderes kann als für Euch den Clown zu machen!
Also, Alter, ich sag’s Dir jetzt mal krass ehrlich im Namen aller Amis, die während Deiner Zeit als größte Lachnummer Deutschlands in Deutschland gelebt haben oder immer noch da sind, hör endlich auf mit dem Scheiß!
liebe Grüße,
Dein John
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April 27th, 2008 at 7:57 am
Drama, baby, Drama!
April 27th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Es ist egal, ob die Amerikaner “unseren” Brucie kennen, er hat den sexiesten Arsch von allen Amerikanern!!!
Und ausserdem sind seine Sprüche Kult!
April 28th, 2008 at 8:28 am
Man kann sich jedenfalls gut über ihn amüsieren………kann aber auch zuviel werden!
April 30th, 2008 at 11:11 am
I also think he is funny - hmm. perhaps because I’m German
May 5th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Wonderful! You is so right. May be you can make him stop his work
May 5th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Believe us: we’d love to sack him!
Unfourtunately German triple-pc-ness will never ever let us:
-he’s gay
-he’s black
-you won’t take him back either!
May 6th, 2008 at 7:46 am
but can’t we send him somewhere? Maybe Austria?
May 6th, 2008 at 10:22 am
How he survived, serving in an airborne division of the U.S. Army, is still a mystery to me…
May 6th, 2008 at 10:33 am
Ist das der Wahrheit tanja? Das ist so ganz schade.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:17 am
As long as he does not open his mouth, he is very nice to look at. Eye-candy. Successful relationsships have been known to be based on that. It is, after all, precisely what my mother said about my father when she met him: As long as he does not open his mouth, he …
May 13th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Ever watched America’s next top model? Look at the judges in that show and then rethink your statement that somebody like Bruce could not be successful in America, lol
May 14th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Remember Ricky, the afternoon talk show host on SAT.1?
May 17th, 2008 at 11:23 am
See? That’s the Hasselhoff of the 21st Century! Why do you Americans keep sending your clowns to us? We don’t want them!
May 17th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
At least, unlike Hasselhoff, Darnell hasn’t done any songs (yet!! *dreimal auf Holz geklopft*)
May 18th, 2008 at 6:37 am
“die handtasche muß leben …” & “drama, drama, drama” a priceless gems.
not unlike the famous trappatoni speech or mr.stoibers collected works.
May 18th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
ahaha, but Bruce rocks xD
He’s funny ^^
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:22 pm
don’t worry. bruce can be seen as funny or annoying but i think no one sees him as the archetypical american
September 9th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
You don’t know him from the famous tv show “germany’s next topmodel by Heidi Klum”?
He got famous as a part of the jury.
January 8th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Amen!
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:35 pm
–im Fernsehen sieht er RIESSIG aus
aber im real life geht er mir gerade mal bis zum ..na auch egal.
zumindest ist er/sie/es das größte Heulsuße unter Gottes Sonne….hmpf—-
herrscht hier eigentlich Zänsur??
November 30th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
What the [heck] is Bruce???
Something to eat? ^^
Honestly, take him back! Please!
We’ve got enought idiots here (like Dieter B.)
nothing for untgood
Note from the editor: Disparaging comments welcome, dirty words are not. I try to keep my little space on the Internet, just like my room, clean, just in case my mom stops by. Thanks.
July 19th, 2010 at 8:28 am
Well, Bruce is flirting with the audience using his deficits in german to his advantage. A concept well received in Germany; people just love him for showing an alleged “weak spot”. Dutch showmasters have been very succesful for the same reason.
July 24th, 2010 at 12:58 pm
@ Borderline: Off the top of my head: Rudi Carell, Harry Wijnford, Marijke Amado, Linda DeMol, and the chick who is married to a footballer.
)
(Correct spelling not guaranteed, I am too lazy to google today!
October 24th, 2010 at 2:44 pm
Get a life folks, he is doing honest work and many do like him. Move on.
October 31st, 2010 at 4:07 am
Bird of Prey: You mean Sylvie van der Vaart?
November 4th, 2010 at 9:57 pm
Go Bruce you simply the best in the show biz……most Germans can’t even speak English and yet they lear the language in school….[Screw] you all racists!!!!!
Editor’s Note: Easy now.
December 1st, 2010 at 7:39 pm
es ist mir egal was du denkst,aber bruce ist ganz toll,to hell u haters !! u cant even speak or write grammartical english and u r busy googling around with hate words!!…he is gay or not gay,whats the problem of some damn [heinies]?..burn in hell…haters..and a middle finger on u if u insist….he is many miles ahead of u!!..haters,[lady dogs]….shut up and get a life!!!bruce..go!!go!!!…its ur life….and no one should point his/her her dirty fingers at u…..and back to u haters,i gotta an issue,just continue hating,coz u cannot achieve what bruce has achieved!..or u admire him so much yet u cant get him to do ur [personal property]?ahaaaaaaaaaaaaa,…swallowed that haters?
Editor’s note: Hey, Google, look the comments on this site have finally reached the quality of those on YouTube. Please buy me out now. I will even consider offers considerably lower than a billion.
December 3rd, 2010 at 6:26 pm
The original comment (”u cant even speak or write grammartical english”) is priceless and John’s note is absolutely hilarious.
December 3rd, 2010 at 6:29 pm
I cracked up at the “lady dogs”, too. Let’s be polite towards our four-legged companions and stop discriminating against them with hate speech!
December 18th, 2010 at 9:49 pm
mhhhhhhhhhh,4 those hating let them continue hating,coz i gotta no words to explain them,damn asses,with nothing to do,but the only thing they can do is sit back and spread hatred.4 ur information haters,BRUCE DARNELL HAS HIS POCKET FULL!! and u?……he will never change,so swallow ur cheep talk and shut up ur dirty mouths!! TALK IS CHEAP!!!
December 18th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
and if u gotta no idea HATERS,u GONNA leave this world unknown,BRUCE IS FAMOUS…….AND WE APPRECIATE THAT!!
January 16th, 2011 at 9:20 am
Somewhere in the very recent comments you can see what type of Germans fame Bruce haha
January 30th, 2011 at 11:04 pm
Am not saying Bruce is the best,but why would a person spread hate words,its his life,ENDE!!!
May 13th, 2011 at 12:32 pm
I do love this open letter to this soul brother! The cruel reality is that Bruce is making his living with your DUMBNESS…