Dear Bruce,

Please stop. You are embarassing us. We don’t know how you achieved such fame in Germany, since no one had ever heard of you before, but really, all of Germany is not laughing with you.
Maybe take some time off and take some German classes, but please never, ever appear on television again, until you get the basic vocabulary down.
To any Germans reading this, we don’t know who this Bruce guy is. Please don’t think he would ever have a chance of success aside of being a laughing stock in your country.
So, Bruce, on behalf of all Americans that live or lived in Germany during your tenure as Germany’s national court jester, please stop.
deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden
Hallo mal wieder, Astrid,hier die Übersetzung:
Ey Bruce, mach ma die Ohren auf
Bruce, alter!
Hör auf man! Du machst uns alle lächerlich! Wir wissen mal echt nicht, wie Du so scheissberühmt werden konntest, weil vorher kannte Dich auch kein Schwein, man. Aber ey, checkst Du’s nicht?! Die Deutschen hauen sich weg vor Lachen, nur leider nicht mit Dir, klar?!
Alter, Du solltest echt mal abchecken, ob so’n paar krasse Deutschkurse nicht helfen würden! Aber man, zeig Deine Hackfresse nicht wieder im deutschen Fernsehen, bevor Du die Grammatik nicht beherrscht, ey!
An alle krassen Deutschen, die sich das hier reinziehen: Wir kennen diesen Bruce-Typen nicht. Glaubt ja nicht, dass er noch was anderes kann als für Euch den Clown zu machen!
Also, Alter, ich sag’s Dir jetzt mal krass ehrlich im Namen aller Amis, die während Deiner Zeit als größte Lachnummer Deutschlands in Deutschland gelebt haben oder immer noch da sind, hör endlich auf mit dem Scheiß!
liebe Grüße,
Dein John
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April 27th, 2008 at 7:57 am
Drama, baby, Drama!
April 27th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Es ist egal, ob die Amerikaner “unseren” Brucie kennen, er hat den sexiesten Arsch von allen Amerikanern!!!
Und ausserdem sind seine Sprüche Kult!
April 28th, 2008 at 8:28 am
Man kann sich jedenfalls gut über ihn amüsieren………kann aber auch zuviel werden!
April 30th, 2008 at 11:11 am
I also think he is funny - hmm. perhaps because I’m German
May 5th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Wonderful! You is so right. May be you can make him stop his work
May 5th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Believe us: we’d love to sack him!
Unfourtunately German triple-pc-ness will never ever let us:
-he’s gay
-he’s black
-you won’t take him back either!
May 6th, 2008 at 7:46 am
but can’t we send him somewhere? Maybe Austria?
May 6th, 2008 at 10:22 am
How he survived, serving in an airborne division of the U.S. Army, is still a mystery to me…
May 6th, 2008 at 10:33 am
Ist das der Wahrheit tanja? Das ist so ganz schade.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:17 am
As long as he does not open his mouth, he is very nice to look at. Eye-candy. Successful relationsships have been known to be based on that. It is, after all, precisely what my mother said about my father when she met him: As long as he does not open his mouth, he …
May 13th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Ever watched America’s next top model? Look at the judges in that show and then rethink your statement that somebody like Bruce could not be successful in America, lol
May 14th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Remember Ricky, the afternoon talk show host on SAT.1?
May 17th, 2008 at 11:23 am
See? That’s the Hasselhoff of the 21st Century! Why do you Americans keep sending your clowns to us? We don’t want them!
May 17th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
At least, unlike Hasselhoff, Darnell hasn’t done any songs (yet!! *dreimal auf Holz geklopft*)
May 18th, 2008 at 6:37 am
“die handtasche muß leben …” & “drama, drama, drama” a priceless gems.
not unlike the famous trappatoni speech or mr.stoibers collected works.
May 18th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
ahaha, but Bruce rocks xD
He’s funny ^^
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:22 pm
don’t worry. bruce can be seen as funny or annoying but i think no one sees him as the archetypical american