Open Letter to German Pizza People

Americans don’t like corn on their pizza. We love corn, that’s no secret, but actually no American has ever put corn on his pizza. That’s where the pepperoni goes (not the vegetable, the little red slices of sausage only found on pizza).

Pizza con Carne

I’m pretty sure no American has ever made chili con carne pizza before… but I guess if you’re going to put corn on your pizza, you might as well dump a whole bowl of chili on there. Hmmm, that actually looks pretty good. I’ll have to try it next time I’m in the Fatherland.

So stop selling pizza with corn on it as “American Style”. Maybe in turn we’ll quit calling vanilla pudding in a donut “bavarian creme”.

deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden

26 Responses to “Open Letter to German Pizza People”

  1. Stine Says:

    I actually learned to like tuna fish on my pizza while I was in Germany. I’ve tried it back home and it isn’t the same. I’ll stick with my sausage and mushroom. Corn, kidney beans…. they were all good too (much to my surprise), but definitely not American.

  2. cartan Says:

    I think what they mean when they say that the pizza is »American style« is that it’s thick. Italian pizza is thin.

  3. Madeleine Says:

    yeah its just the type of pizza not whats on it.

  4. ZEUGS: Neue Hiroshima-Fotos, britische Gewalt und Waffengesetze « USA Erklärt Says:

    […] Essgewohnheiten: Das neue Blog Nothing for Ungood weist darauf hin, dass Amerikaner keinen Mais auf ihre Pizza tun: So stop selling pizza with corn on it as “American Style”. Maybe in turn […]

  5. Besucher Says:

    Genau - es ist der dicke Boden, der gemeint ist.

  6. Frank Says:

    I think, we will stop selling pizza with corn as american style right after the americans stop thinking that a kuckucks-clock is German (it is Swizz) or imagine every german guy walks in bavarian-leather-pants… ;-)

  7. IQ-Atrophie Says:

    Pizzamais…

    Nach meinem Artikel über Grünzeug auf diversen Tiefkühlschinkenpizzas, der nun schon einige Zeit zurückliegt, überrollt nun ein neuer Pizzaskandal die Republik.
    Die Rede ist von Wagners American Style Pizza der Geschmacksrichtung “Chili co…

  8. relvar Says:

    It’s not really wrong to call vanilla pudding Bavarian creme: “Bayerische Creme” is a vanilla-flavored pudding-like dessert made with gelatine as you can see here: http://www.chefkoch.de/rezepte/152611067069028/Bayerische-Creme.html

  9. HermanTheGerman Says:

    Well it’s just that Americans put all sort of crap on their food, so the “Pizza People” most likely thought that’s no problem.

  10. westernworld Says:

    @frank im sorry to rain on your parade but the kuckucksuhren are a genuinely german thing, there is a reason why the are called schwarzwälder kuckucksuhren.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckoo_clock#History

    as for the pizza that seems to be the one dish every culture has its very own idiosyncratic take own, american pizza is great but has no semblance whatshowever to the Italian original, even less so than the german version - ask Italians how they feel about pineapple on on a pie, well they wouldn’t think of it as pie to begin with.
    deep dish chicago style pizza is closer to lasagna than to an actual pizza

    but all that pales by comparison to the korean approach to pizza.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biIKpegx7h4

  11. Bird of Prey Says:

    I want to know…
    …what do Americans think when they see in German TV the pizza ad with the stereotypical American family?
    Awful or Hilarious??

    (I mean the one where everyone tells each other “I love you!” Eventually Dad says: “We love American pizza.” Mum reads what’s written on the package and announces: “It’s from Doitschländ!” So Dad says: “We love Doitschländ!”)

  12. Hoschi Says:

    “I’m pretty sure no American has ever made chili con carne pizza before…”

    If you can put it on a tiny hot dog, why shouldn´t we use it as a pizza topping?

  13. simi1983 Says:

    Ok i like the chili-con-carne-corn-thingy-pizza. i don’t care if americans don’t. I’ll agree on abolishing them when americans stop deepfrying brezeln or worse cover them with caramel (seen it in a texan wal-mart).

  14. EllyTeej Says:

    ROCK ON! You are so right. We are Americans living in Berlin, and we cannot STAND corn on pizzas. In our experience, most things in Germany covered in corn are called “american” or >GASP< “mexican” (i have yet–in year–to have anything resembling authentic mexican food in germany). Furthermore, we are from the midwest and the quality of the corn served here is barely worthy of human consumption. Thanks for giving voice to our most hearfelt concern. :)

  15. kitty-kat Says:

    Americans do put a lot of interesting things on our pizzas- note the rise in popularity of restaurants like “California Pizza Kitchen”- but I have to agree that putting corn and kidney beans is just not something we would do! (having just had an “american” pizza like this from Lidl the other day, it actually wasn’t so bad, but it certainly wasn’t “american”)

    On the subject of bizarre pizza toppings, I never could stomach the idea of tuna on pizza when living in Germany! Now that we are in the UK, they have an even more disgusting use of tuna- on a baked potato!! Yuck! And it’s not even the edible white albacore tuna (in Germany or the UK) they only use the super fishy-smelling plain tuna!!!

  16. kitty-kat Says:

    A funny corn story:
    A few years ago when still living in Munich- my husband and I had biked to a local lake for the day. On the way back we passed by a small cornfield with ripe corn. We decided to be really naughty and picked a few- only to find after cooking them that they were totally inedible! They were the sort of corn grown strictly for feeding livestock- which is generally the type grown in Germany- hence you can rarely find any good fresh corn.

  17. John Says:

    Serves you right for stealing!

  18. Scott Says:

    I love corn, I really do, and I love pizza… This sounds awesome. I would put corn on my pizza.. Most assuredly. I think I will… Ive made pizza with green beans on it before, also one with asparagus, or “Green Spargel” for the germans out there. Im sure that might make a few of you nauseous, but I like it, and since I made it, thats really all that mattered at the time.

    But Corn and Pea’s are awesome.. I should try pea’s on a pizza.. I bet that would be great.

  19. Rich B. Says:

    One day, out of the blue, my land lady announced, “Ich mag Mais essen. (I like to eat corn).” Because the German word for corn, “Mais”, is pronounced exactly like the plural of mouse, i.e. “mice”, I heard her say: “I like to eat mice.”

    Then it dawned on me what the problem was. So I said, “Och, Sie meinen Korn. (Oh, you mean grain.).” But because the German word for grain, Korn, sounds exactly like the English word “corn”, she replied, “Nein, nicht Korn - Mais. (No, not grain - corn.)”. I think my jaw must have hit the floor when I heard her confirm that she liked to eat mice.

  20. Stefan W. Says:

    She must have been half cat, half human … Priceless. :D

    Now put a British person into the Mais = Corn equation… I think that would have been even more confusing. However, I think it would be fun to see the British supporting the Germans concerning word usage.

    Just look for the Wikipedia article about “maize”. ;)

    But when talking about fruit, vegetables and cereals, discussions between Austrians and Germans can be quite funny as well. :)

    PS: Why does it irritate me that Americans seized to use the Native American term for the plant, but Europeans did not…? *thinking*

  21. Bird of Prey Says:

    @ Rich B.: Something like this once happened to me because I didn’t know the English word “hot” also means “scharf” (the flavour).

    Other Person: “Is your food too hot?”
    Me (visibly struggling with the spicy taste) : “No, it is too sharp!”

  22. cg5 Says:

    american style generally refers to pan or deep dish pizza.
    for german advertisers it is too hard to translate the essence of chicago style deep dish pizza in a 30 sec TV commercial, so the term American Style has become synonymous with Pan or Deep Dish, since it is the opposite to italian, Thin Crust.
    There.

  23. Jen Says:

    @ Rich B.: I remember my high school German teacher having a similar story. Her daughter, who was maybe 3 or 4 at the time, was bilingual in German and English, but occasionally mixed up the languages. One day she went to day care and was talking to a woman there about how she’d had “Mais” for dinner the night before. Needless to say, my teacher got a very worried phone call about feeding her daughter “mice” for dinner!

  24. Stefan W. Says:

    Concerning my comment from November 7th, 2008 at 2:15 pm:

    Now talk about language problems…

    I mixed up “to seize” with “to cease” in the PS. Sorry for that. ;)

  25. Dirk Diggler Says:

    You all need to see what they put on their pizzas in Japan
    http://www.chachich.com/mdchachi/jpizza.html
    Mayonnaise and inky squid sauce are by far the strangest things I’ve seen so far. That’s even quirkier than those chili con carne pizzas. Even Domino’s Pizza has a ‘japanized’ menu http://www.dominos.jp/

  26. EllyTeej Says:

    WE ARE BACK WITH SOME GREAT NEWS! You can get AWESOME, AUTHENTIC Mexican food delivered to your door!!

    http://mexikatessen.spaces.live.com/

    p.s.
    This is serious. We have been looking for 7 years for a decent Mexican meal in this county…and in fact had given up after calling the Mexican Embassy asking for a recommendation and were told–in a very sad voice–”Sorry, there were two, but they couldn’t afford the rent, and now there are no more authentic Mexican restaurants in Berlin.”

    But now everything has changed. This place is real. Try it!

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