Germans are the kings of efficiency and this extends into the realm of eating lunch. If you work at a big company in Germany, you will almost certainly have a cafeteria to eat in which serves up great subsidized meals. Because Germans want to spend as little time as possible at work, they limit their lunch breaks to exactly 45 minutes. That means you have 45 minutes to walk from the office to the cafeteria, get served up a nice meal and a tiny drink with no ice (and no free refills), talk about the latest episode of the emigration reality show, a soccer match, or what would have happened if some battle in a war 95 years ago would have turned out differently. After that you need to return your dishes and take a 10 minute walk the long way back to the office.
When you subtract the walking times and time needed to buy your lunch, you actually only have about 10 minutes to eat your meal while discussing 1 reality show, 1 soccer match, and 1 alternative outcome to a historic event. You as an American cannot pull it off. Do not attempt to participate in the conversation, focus solely on eating as fast as you can. The cards are stacked against you in this for the following 2 reasons:
- You likely haven’t mastered the super-efficient German style of eating, whereby you scoop everything onto your fork in your left hand with your knife that’s in your right hand. Maybe you are becoming adept at using the fork with your left hand and are gaining speed, but it won’t be enough.
- You must constantly try to remember the gender of every noun you want to say, then figure out whether the prepositions you want to use require the accusative, dative, or genitive case. Then you have to match the gender with the case to figure out the needed definite article in a table in your head you learned in German class, and you are almost there. Now you just have to figure out the adjective ending based on the definite article and you have part of the sentence you want to say completed. Now figure out where the verbs go in the sentence, conjugate and you are ready to add your mustard to the conversation. Unfortunately by the time you have your witty sentence about the reality show constructed in your head, the topic has already moved on to the Bundesliga.
Not only did you not get to say a single word about the first topic, you wasted your first 3 minutes of valuable eating time. You are still working on your soup, while your German colleagues have already finished their Maultaschen and are getting ready to dig into dessert.
Once again its going to be one of those days where the only thing you said all lunch long was genau one time, and your colleagues are still going to have to wait for the slow American to finish lunch.
deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden
Hallo Astrid,hier die Übersetzung:
Deutsche essen 1,7 mal schneller als Amerikaner
Deutsche sind die Könige der Effizienz und dies reicht bis in den Bereich des Mittagessens hinein. Wenn Sie in einer großen Firma in Deutschland arbeiten, wird es mit großer Wahrscheinlichkeit eine Kantine geben, die tolle subventionierte Mahlzeiten serviert. Weil Deutsche so wenig Zeit wie möglich bei der Arbeit verbringen wollen, begrenzen sie die Zeit für ihre Mittagspause auf exakt 45 Minuten. Das heisst Sie haben genau 45 Minuten Zeit um vom Büro zur Kantine zu laufen, ein nettes Essen und ein kleines Getränk ohne Eis und Nachfüllung serviert zu bekommen, über die letzte Folge der Auswanderer-Serie und ein Fußballspiel zu sprechen und dazu eine Diskussion darüber zu führen, welche Auswirkungen es gehabt hätte, wenn der Kampf in einem Krieg vor 95 Jahren anders ausgegangen wäre. Danach müssen Sie ihr Geschirr wegbringen und den möglichst langen Weg zurück zum Büro gehen.
Wenn Sie die Laufzeiten und die Zeit die es dauert, um das Essen zu kaufen, subtrahieren, bleiben Ihnen nur noch 10 Minuten um zu essen, während Sie 1 reality show, 1 Fußballspiel und 1 alternativen Ausgang eines historischen Ereignisses diskutieren. Sie als Amerikaner können dies nicht vollbringen. Versuchen Sie gar nicht erst, an dem Gespräch teilzunehmen, sondern konzentrieren Sie sich ausschliesslich darauf, so schnell zu essen wie Sie können. Die Wetten stehen gegen Sie aus folgenden 2 Gründen:
- Sie beherrschen den supereffizienten Stil zu essen der Deutschen nicht, bei dem man mit dem Messer in der rechten Hand alles auf die Gabel in der linken Hand schiebt. Eventuell werden Sie versierter und schneller im Umgang mit der Gabel in der linken Hand, aber es wird trotzdem nicht reichen.
- Sie müssen dauernd versuchen, sich an das Geschlecht jedes einzelnen Nomen zu erinnern, das Sie benutzen möchten, und dann noch herausfinden, ob die Präpositionen, die Sie verwenden möchten, nun nach dem Akkustaiv-, Dativ- oder Genitivfall verlangen. Dann müssen Sie das Geschlecht mit dem Fall zusammenbringen, um den bestimmten Artikel in einer Tabelle in Ihrem Kopf zu finden, die Sie mal im Deutschkurs gelernt haben, und sie haben es fast geschafft. Nun müssen sie nur noch die Adjektivendung mit Hilfe des bestimmten Artikels herausfinden und schon ist ein Teil des Satzes, den Sie sagen wollen, vollständig. Nun finden Sie noch heraus, an welcher Stelle die Verben in den Satz gehören, konjugieren Sie sie und Sie sind soweit, dass Sie Ihren Senf zum Gespräch dazu geben können. Bedauerlicherweise ist nun, während Sie Ihren geistreichen Beitrag zum Thema reality shows im Kopf konstruiert haben, das Thema schon zur Bundesliga übergegangen.
Nicht nur, dass Sie nicht ein einziges Wort zum ersten Thema sagen konnten, Sie haben auch die ersten 3 Minuten Ihrer kostbaren Essenszeit verschwendet. Sie arbeiten noch immer an Ihrer Suppe, während Ihre deutschen Kollgen bereits ihre Maultaschen aufgegessen haben und mit dem Dessert anfangen.
Es wird wieder einer dieser Tage sein, an denen das Einzige was Sie während des Mittagessens gesagt haben “Genau” war und Ihre Kollegen trotzdem auf den langsamen Amerikaner warten müssen, der immer noch nicht fertig gegessen hat.
Ganz liebe Grüße
John
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April 30th, 2008 at 7:52 am
Sehr cool, mir ging es genau so, als ich die ersten Wochen in Amerika war…während ich noch Antworten formuliert habe, war das Gespräch schon wieder bei einem ganz anderen Thema angekommen und ich hatte nix gesagt. Aber nett lächeln kommt auch immer gut an
May 5th, 2008 at 9:36 am
I am left handed, so I put the knife into my right hand and hold the fork in my left, but I still master the art of fast eating. It can be done! What counts is to learn how to use knife and fork *at the same time*.
May 5th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Mwahahaha you are so right!
May 6th, 2008 at 12:02 am
viel wahres dran, wenn ich mich so in meiner mensa umgucke
May 6th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
German lunchbreaks at work last usually 30 minutes not 45 as written in the text.
But the rest is true… *smirk*
May 9th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
@ Frank: poor you. I am working in Germany and have a whole hour for my lunchbreak! Isn´t that awesome?
May 15th, 2008 at 5:35 am
Well, here (Switzerland) in my company, we got a minimum of 30 min. of unpaid time at mealtime. that means you can eat as long as you want (1h = 1h unpaid) but if you finished too soon, you’re screwed (10 min = 30 min unpaid).
I usually have 20-30 mins, so it’s quite ideal. 45 mins would be way too long.
(and, even if some people give me a weird look, I hold the fork in my right. It’s way more efficient in my point of view)
May 16th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
lunch is like sex: the faster, the better
May 19th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
[…] ist auch der Hinweis, dass Deutsche schneller essen als Amerikaner, was die Schönste Germanin mit etwas anderer Betonung bestätigen würde. Man […]
May 20th, 2008 at 8:14 am
You learn that when you go to the Bundeswehr: They leave you with a lunchtime of about 10 Minutes including potty break.
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:15 pm
i’m german but i make everyone wait at lunch cause i just eat slowly.
Tip to all americans. Just claim that you’re following your doctor’s advice to chew everything carefully in order to cure your sick stomach.
minimum 2 people will full of understanding start a conversation about stomach sicknesses they’ve experienced themselves or that any of their relatives or collegues have gone through. soon you will wish to finish your lunch so badly that you’ll eat faster automatically.
August 2nd, 2008 at 11:47 pm
>> You learn that when you go to the Bundeswehr: They leave you with a lunchtime of about 10 Minutes including potty break.
Absolutely true… and it’s even worse if you’re at the end of the line waiting to receive your meal. I think at several occasions the time was down to 2 minutes or less remaining to actually eat something, if I remember correctly.
August 25th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
First thing you learn in basic training : take only food you can eat with a spoon - cuting things will cost you too much time
October 13th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
that’s why you Americans only eat hot dogs, fries and burgers for lunch… you don’t even know how to use knife and spoon
I can see it everyday with all the Americans and Canadians around me. They have their Burgers and Sandwiches, while people from all other places around the world eat proper food with fork and knife (or spoon). We have Europeans, Asians, South Americans here, but only the North Americans can’t eat properly (and are all overweight).
Hope you enjoy your stay overseas!
October 14th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
@Jack: ever watched a German try to eat a sub or a club sandwich? Now THAT’S funny!
November 3rd, 2008 at 8:39 am
tooooooo funny
The first thing I heard during my first lunch break in Australia: “mate…you’re eating like a german..” ;D
November 7th, 2008 at 9:14 am
Meine deutsche Freundin (ich bin Ami) wirft mir manchmal vor, dass ich zu schnell esse. Als ich in Dresden auf Geschäftsreise war aber, assen die Kollegen in der Cafeteria mit so einem Affenzahn, dass ich konnte kaum Schritt halten. Hätte die Freundin diese Leuten gesehen, hätte sie gewiss einen Anfall bekommen.
Andere Deutsche, wie z.B. beim Roten Kreuz oder in gewöhnlichen Restaurants essen in normalem Tempo. Vielleicht ist dieses Phänomen zu Deutsche in institutionellen Umfelden beschränkt. Sie sind allenfalls imstande wie bescheuert zu essen.
November 7th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Der wahre Grund für’s schnelle Essen beim Bund, in der Mensa und in den meisten Kantinen ist doch, daß man weniger schmeckt, wenn man schnell ißt!
November 19th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
I seriously know guys in my company who will be on their dessert already before I’ve finished my starter. But these are the ones who go in more for the monastic lunching variety: No reality TV show, no Bundesliga, no historical debate, no Gesprächsthema whatsoever - just auf die Plätze, fertig, fressen.
But maybe I’m just jealous. There’s no way I can down a three course meal and drink in five minutes flat. Certainly not without vomiting. That takes years of practice and dedication. The unpalatable conclusion must be that my chances of ever acquiring German nationality are gleich Null. Mahlzeit!
November 21st, 2008 at 11:53 am
Danke für den Beitrag! Mir ist schnelles Essen in der Mensa auch aufgefallen. Ich habe mir bis jetzt kenie Gedanken darüber gemacht. Wenn ich aber jetzt nachdenke:
Ich glaube den Unterschied, schnell oder langsam macht es aus (zumindest bei Mittagessen auf der Arbeit), ob die Zeit der Mittagspause bezahlt wird oder nicht. Auf Geschäftsreisen habe ich Kollegen sehr langsam essen erlebt und in der Kantine dagegen spürbar schneller. Es gibt natürlich auch solche, die auf Geschäftsreisen mit einem geschäftlichen Mittagessen, aus Gewohnheit schnell essen.
Die Gewohnheit aus der Zeit der Bundeswehr könnte man auch gelten lassen, bei weiblichen Kollegen allerdings weniger.
Servus
Leo
November 21st, 2008 at 3:48 pm
We don’t like chilled dishes at lunch. As long we didn’t choose the salad, we have to hurry not to let our lunch get colder than it already is. Most of the time, the common canteen food is only lukewarm anyway when it is served.
So, there is no time to waste. And of course, we cling to the snotty, old fashioned knife and fork - stuff. And even if we do eat things in a bun (sausage, burgers, döner etc) now and then, we prefer not to eat out of our bare hands from styrofoam boxes all the time. Besides, it would also be really messy to eat our Schweinebraten mit Knödel, Soße and Kraut or Spaghetti with Tomatensoße with bare hands.
December 10th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Bei der Bundeswehr sagte unser Ausbilder immer:
Es soll Ihnen nicht schmecken, es soll Sie nur satt machen!
In diesem Sinne…
December 19th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Wie sacht doch ein deutsches (oder ist es ein schwäbisches) Sprichwort?: Wie mann ist so schafft man
February 1st, 2009 at 9:12 am
This is so true!!! When I first joined my German colleagues for lunch, I was utterly amazed at how precise and efficient they were in consuming food. It only took them 15 mins to finish what was on the plate and day in, day out.. the same thing. 15 mins! By the 3rd day, I simply vanished on my own and took a proper 45 mins lunch break!
June 8th, 2009 at 8:31 am
Als typischer genussmensch esse ich gerne bevorzugt langsam. Aber in der deutschen arbeitswelt geht das leider nicht. 30 lächerliche minuten mittagspause. Ohne kantine im gebäude. Also kommt nur ein snack in unmittelbarer nähe in frage - den kulinarischen höhepunkt des tages gibts dann am abend.
Klar könnte man freiwillig auf 60 min. verlängern. Wenn du das jeden tag machst, hast du ganz schnell einen haufen unterstunden die du dann länger arbeiten mußt. Bei einer ohnehin viel zu langen 40-stunde-woche einfach nur ein horror. Denn eines ist schon richtig: Ich will die zeit die ich im job verbringen muß schon so weit möglich minimieren
Ach und zu den gesprächsthemen: Die Deutschen neigen leider sehr dazu, auch beim mittagessen noch über den job zu reden. Aktuell habe ich einen job wo das zum glück nicht so extrem ist, aber in der regel ist das leider so und es NERVT tierisch! Da ist es gut, wenn ich den mund voll habe und mich nicht an gesprächen die wieder nur den job betreffen beteiligen muß
June 10th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
Pejee is right, there is a German saying: You work as you eat (either both fast or both slowly). AND: Since most Germans eat in a cafeteria, there are always more people than seats, so it is some kind of poliuteness to eat as fast as possible. And it enhances your skills to use fork and knife at the same time (LAST taught in a college class: use both hands at the same time, when you study!!!) AND germans do not need a free hand to be able to shoot back while eating…
June 18th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
It’s totally normal to use knife and fork at the same time - it’s like driving: You have a gear box
August 26th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
It may be “normal” in Germany to use both utensils at the same time, but it is
considered “unusual” everywhere else in the world. Do consider the fact that Germany is not the world and vice versa.
As far as sayings are concerned, I can add one that my father liked: those who break out in a sweat while eating are the best work horses. hmm…. I would classify that saying also as “unusual.”
In my experience, it is still best to “do as the Romans when in Rome.” And please don’t stare. What may be weird to you is normal to someone else. For example, I do not know any other country where it is o.k. to blow your nose while at the table. And : it is considered rude in the U.S.to just sit there and eat and not show that you enjoy your company by talking to them. And no - you do not eat a Hamburger with a fork and knife. And no, you don’t talk with your mouth full. Just take bites that fit into your cheek in case you need to answer to something like : face the wall and spread your legs… : )
August 28th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
My Grandpa Wilhelm used to say, “You’re stomach has no taste!”, meaning that you should eat slowly and enjoy food in your mouth. It is rude in America to eat too quickly. We call it “Wolfing down your food” as if it is the way an animal would eat!
October 13th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Haha! I just got back from a 45 minute break.
I am always the last to leave the buffet cause everybody is so f***ing fast and then I have to stuff myself like a turkey as quickly as I can.
God, I’m so tired now. But I think eating too fast is not a German problem. Aren’t MC - burgers meant to be swallowed without chewing?
~A German girl
November 4th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Das man Messer und Gabel nicht gleizeitig benutzen kann ist unglaublich ineffizient. Anscheinend mögen Amerikaner Ihre Zeit auf Arbeit so sehr, dass Sie sich Zeit lassen wollen. Für mich ist Arbeitszeit die Zeit vom aufstehen, bis zum zu Hause ankommen und deshalb esse ich auch schnell.
Schliesslich sind die meisten Jobs furchtbar, deshalb müssen Sie einen auch dafür bezahlen, mit der folge: schnelle Essenszeit, noch schnellere Fahrweise und die schnellste Arbeitsweise -schlicht Effizienz.
November 9th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
haha! i helped out with some research at a research center in Germany during 6 months of study abroad, and although i could eat just as fast (if not faster) than the germans, most of my mealtime was taken up by glancing back and forth from co-worker to co-worker trying to think what i would say if my mouth wasn’t full of spaetzle…
November 9th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Despite not being German, I eat roughly 3 times faster than every I know. Maybe more.
November 17th, 2009 at 10:08 am
when in the army (Bundeswehr) you may feel the need to fill your one hour lunchbreak with as much sleep as possible.
therefore you must learn how to minimize the time for the way to the casino, waiting in line, eating, then the way back from the casino to your bed and after sleeping the way back to where you need to be to pick up your work again.
i managed to get a good 45 minutes of sleep.
this efficiency in minimizing the time-consuming factors remains -due to constant training during that year in the armed forces- in the muscle memory, thus enabling you to eat Über-fast when in the cafeteria years later.
December 4th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
It is an Illusion, to think that European always eat with a knife in one and a fork in the other hand and more than this, all of them eat with the fork, just. But it is a matter of their age when to stop doing this.
As a German or better said as an Bavarian, I would like to assure you, that I had a time, when I ate with a just using the fork only – must be around the age of two years but just for some months and then I learned to handle the knife. Our parent cut the larger pieces for us as long we are not able to do it our selves.
The negative effect of cutting everything in small parts is the increasing surface and so the quicker cooling of the food. Have a steak been cut to small pieces and with the fact, that the temperature wenting down, the flavour does as well. Compare the lasting time of eating with American and European style and you end up with the result, that the E-style is the quicker but it is not the more bustling. E-style is practicable multitasking – you keep on preparing the next bite while you eat and you place what you are planning to eat more precise on your fork than it would be possible with the A-style.
It is confusing but for most European, even if the don’t realize, watching an American using a fork just, means look back in their own past. The only different might be, that you expect to face al little kid in its development but not an adult. Hope you don’t mind my clearness, since I don’t want to puzzle you with this facts, others simply wouldn’t tell.
I learned to eat with my right hand when I was in India and it tooks me time to maintain this but it was worth not to keep up with already known habits and having asked for a cutlery. Eating with chopsticks in Thailand totally differs from doing this in Japan. It’s a multiple world, so enjoy!
Best!
Pete from Augburg, Bavaria
December 13th, 2009 at 2:53 am
I’m European originally but I’ve been living in Canada for the past seven years. Everyone here knows how to use a fork and a knife at the same time. Everyone also uses a fork and knife at the same time, when needed.
On a side note - eating super fast is unhealthy. There’s a reason your mom told you to chew before you swallowed your food!
January 6th, 2010 at 7:08 pm
In wirklich jedem zivilisierten Land hält man das Messer in der rechten und die Gabel in der Linken.
Ich kann nicht glauben dass Amerikaner selbst dafür zu doof sind.
Hätten wir den Krieg gewonnen, könntet ihr jetzt wenigstens gesittet dinieren.
January 15th, 2010 at 8:00 pm
Eating fast in the canteen prevents you from having to spend too much time with your colleagues in a situation where you are expected to talk to them about soccer (which is utterly boring) or some movie you haven’t seen, or retreat to talk about work, something you would love to avoid more than anything else over a meal. That’s why everybody eats as fast as they can, because nobody feels like a stupid boring conversation with people you normally wouldn’t look at with your arse, as we say.
However, watching Americans eat is disgusting: First they massacre their food by cutting everything into tiny little pieces until you can’t distinguish a steak from a potato anymore. Then they put one hand under the table (to do what? Pick stuff from between their toes? Scratch their private parts?), bend over the plate and shovel the butchery they have created before into their mouth.
And you call this civilized?
January 15th, 2010 at 8:07 pm
Ah, yes - Nachtrag: Drinks with ice. You can’t drink something that has frozen water in it - ice cubes destroy every taste a drink might have had (but maybe you want that, if I think of coke it is probably better not to realise what you drink).
What do you do with a really good cheese before you eat it? You take it out of the fridge an hour or more before you serve it, in order for it to reach room temperature and for the flavour to unfold.
A drink with ice in it makes your teeth hurt, and tastes of nothing.
January 16th, 2010 at 11:55 pm
Well, you’re indeed right with that Coke thing, after all. For some people, the watering down of oversweet drinks is indeed a desired effect.
Also, some cocktails depend on that effect. Juleps, for example.
January 16th, 2010 at 11:57 pm
I think I shouldn’t use “indeed” that much.
To be clear: No, I am [i]not[/i] Teal’c!
January 20th, 2010 at 3:56 pm
Now that you mention it, Ami’s DO have a thing about cold drinks! The colder the better. No warm beer allowed - must be served at just above freezing! Even stouts and other “dark” beers. Have you had “ice tea”? My father ordered it in a Montreal restuarant and they didn’t know what to do! I know people who pour wine over ice, red wine included…
I think to us “cold” is as important as “taste”. Indeed (@Stefan;->)we will chill Coke in the refridgerator and then serve it over ice! I know it makes no sense, but that is how we roll in the USA.
January 24th, 2010 at 4:28 pm
There is a saying with an ad that puts it on the point:
“Power is nothing without control.”
Eating 1,7 times faster just means nothing, it is first of all just a number. But eating faster, more efficient, without devastating what the chef provided, before eating it, is the aim - well than using a cutterly set proper is not that extraordinary.
Doing the American style of eating (well remarked, Atompilzkopf!) just reminds me of this funny scenery at the Monty Pythons Flighing Circus and maybe for some this bucket thing could be just an improvement.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlK62rjQWLk