There are two sports where Germany always has and always will dominate Americans in: Soccer and Auto Racing.
Never bet that the US will beat the Germans in Soccer, as this will end up costing you $200 before you finally learn your lesson, no matter how many goals Landon Donovan is currently scoring for the L.A. Galaxy.
Also, Americans will never drive as a well as Germans. Our idea of racing is putting everyone on a big oval and telling them to turn left. Germans have Michael Schumacher. Enough said.
But there is one thing two thirds of Germans cannot do, and that is throw a ball without looking totally goofy. Our estimation is that the remaining 33% are either handball players, are naturally athletic, or they got stuck in small town America during their year as an exchange student in high school , and had to learn to play football to pass the time.
98% of Americans can throw a ball without looking goofy, because of our education system, which without exception includes the game of dodge-ball, making the ability to throw a ball a necessary survival skill.
deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden
Grüß Dich, Astrid,
hier die Übersetzung:
66% der Deutschen sehen albern aus, wenn sie versuchen, einen Ball zu werfen
Es gibt zwei Sportarten, in denen Deutschland Amerika immer überlegen war, ist und sein wird: Fußball und Autorennen. Wetten Sie nie darauf, dass die USA Deutschland beim Fußball besiegen werden, denn es wird Sie sonst $200 kosten, bevor Sie endlich dazulernen, egal wieviele Tore Landon Donovan gerade für die L.A. Galaxy schiesst.
Amerikaner werden auch niemals so gut Auto fahren wie Deutsche. Unsere Vorstellung vom Autorennen ist, alle in ein großes Oval zu schicken und ab und zu links abzubiegen. Deutschland hat Michael Schumacher, mehr muss nicht gesagt werden.
Aber es gibt eine Sache, die 2/3 der Deutschen nicht können, und das ist einen Ball zu werfen, ohne dabei total albern auszusehen. Die übrigen 33 % sind vermutlich Handballer, von Natur aus athletisch oder sie saßen während ihres High School Austauschjahres in einer Kleinstadt in Amerika fest, und mussten lernen, wie man Football spielt, um die Zeit herumzukriegen.
siehe Abbildung 1
98% der Amerikaner können auf Grund unseres Bildungssystems einen Ball werfen, ohne dabei albern auszusehen, da ohne Ausnahme das Spiel Dodgeball erlernt wird, bei dem die Fähigkeit, einen Ball zu werfen überlebenswichtig ist.
siehe Abbildung 2
Grüß Deine Tochter von mir,
John
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May 5th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
And the remaining 2% have no chance of ever becoming President:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/politicselections/nation/president/2004-09-15-kerry-football_x.htm
May 5th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Uuhm, sorry, but I just have to respectfuly disagree. Even though “Völkerball” is not *quite* the same as Dodgeball, it is close enough, and it also is played in almost every german school.
So please, present some evidence for your case, or consider yourself debunked
May 5th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
In America we all play kickball in school (think baseball with a big red rubber ball you kick instead of batting), yet 90% of Americans look goofy when we try to kick a ball.
Not debunked!
May 6th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
völkerball is played in every school in germany.
predominantly in the elementary school. later we play basket- hand- or volleyball. (just to mention the “hand”focused games)
völkerball is more like crossfire or prisonball.
standard dodgeball rules sound boring.
i just stumbled over this blog. have to realize if this is all serious or mixed with sarcasm. some “facts” smell fishy.
May 6th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Trust your instinct, sir.
May 7th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Well, my instinct tells me you’re a good observer with a sense of humour.
Carry on, Sir!
May 9th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
[Gee whizzz!], where’s your entry on Germans Lacking A Sense of Humor?
Editor’s Note: This blog is run by puritans.
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:10 pm
That is so true!!! And it’s also true that it’s because of our educational system that we can’t throw balls without looking goofy.
In school we had only 2 hours (actually 1,5h) of sports a week. whenever we could we were playing sick so we could sit at the side and chat. and the teacher never really cared.
so if, as a german child, you don’t have parents who can afford to send you to a Sportsverein you’ll suck in sports for the rest of your life.
but i don’t really care, cause i’m still slimmer than any american girl or woman i ever met :p
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Now I know why Germans use handgrenades mocked as ‘potatomashers’, while Americans prefer ball- or egg-shaped models.
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:46 pm
I would like to add that most Americans have access to a Baseball team, even at the Kindergarten level, and that most Americans join and play at least to High School. Throwing a baseball is graceful and balletic compared to throwing a large rubber ball, whether Dodgeball, Völkerball, Basketball, or fielding a Kickball. As white men don’t jump, Germans don’t play baseball, so…BTW Go Cardinals!