Germans hate convenience. Although Germany is generally a cash based society as opposed to America, where we use credit and debit cards for every transaction upwards of 49 cents, Germany has no ATMs that you can drive through. In fact the only drive-throughs in all of Germany are called McDrive.
You will also encounter the German hatred of convenience while grocery shopping as you watch the cashier throwing all of your groceries into a big pile, which you have to then bag yourself, while simultaneously trying to pay for them, while a big line of impatient customers are tapping their feet behind you.
The most obvious indication that Germans hate convenience is the fact that they do not have twist-off caps on bottles of beer, like we have had for the last 47 years. Instead Germans must develop new talents in opening their beer, as a bottle opener is not always available.
Here is a partial list of ways Germans can open their bottles:
The Klassiker: Since 87% of Germans smoke, you have well over a 98% chance in a group of three or more that a cigarette lighter will be available. Using the available cigarette lighter, Germans put a firm grip around the bottleneck with one hand, and use the butt-end of the lighter to pry open the lid with the other hand, using a lever-action, which is intuitive to all Germans, because they are all gear-heads.
Before returning to the States, you should learn this technique, because it will amaze your friends, and it works with twist-offs as well. You can learn to either make the cap fly off into the air for amusement, or just gently pop off to avoid injury.
The Tischler: Never let a German do this on your table or counter-top, but most Germans have the ability to set the lip of cap against a hard 90 degree angled surface with one hand, and bang the bottle with the other to remove the cap. This works only 30% of the time, so you have a 70% chance of a hand injury and/or scratched surface.
The Doppeldeckler: This is a limited use technique, because it requires two bottles. Once they are down to the last beer, Germans have to resort to another strategy. This technique is to flip one bottle into the opposing direction of the other and use one cap to pry the other one off. Despite its limitations this is a stylish, impressive feat.
The Zahnarzt: Young Germans males find a way to open bottles with their teeth. We don’t know how or why, but we recommend you avoid this.
Some smaller German breweries, such as Flensburger, make a very stylish cap that requires you to only push against the cap, and the mechanical mechanism allows the cap to pop out of the bottle, requiring you to neither use the techniques explained above, nor hurt your delicate hands on a twist-off cap; however, since Germans hate convenience, these bottles are very unpopular.
deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden
Moinsen Astrid,hier die Übersetzung:
Glück Auf
Deutsche hassen Bequemlichkeit. Obwohl Deutschland eine eher Bargeld-orientierte Gesellschaft ist, im Gegensatz zu Amerika, wo wir Kredit- und Debitkarten für jede Rechnung die höher als 49 cents ist benutzen, gibt es in Deutschland keine Geldautomaten, die man per Auto erreichen kann. Die einzigen drive-throughs in ganz Deutschland werden McDrive genannt.
Sie werden auch beim Einkaufen die Abneigung der Deutschen gegen Bequemlichkeit beobachten, wenn Sie sehen, wie der Kassierer all Ihre Einkäufe auf einen grossen Haufen wirft und Sie dann alles selber eintüten müssen, während Sie gleichzeitig versuchen zu bezahlen und eine lange Schlange von Kunden hinter Ihnen schon ungeduldig mit den Füssen scharrt.
Der offensichtlichste Beweis dafür, dass die Deutschen Bequemlichkeit verabscheuen, ist die Tatsache, dass sie keine Drehverschlüsse auf Bierflaschen haben, wie wir es in Amerika seit 47 Jahren kennen. Stattdessen müssen die Deutschen bei dem Versuch ihre Bierflaschen zu öffnen neue Talente entwickeln:
Der Klassiker Da 87 % der Deutschen rauchen, haben Sie eine 98%ige Chance in einer Gruppe von drei oder mehr Leuten, dass ein Feuerzeug zur Verfügung steht. Dieses benutzend, greift der deutsche Flaschenöffner mit einer Hand fest um den Flaschenhals und benutzt die Unterseite des Feuerzeuges, um mit der anderen Hand den Verschluss aufzustemmen, mit Hilfe der Hebelwirkung, was alle Deutschen von Natur aus verstehen, da sie alle Technikfreaks sind.
Bevor Sie nach Amerika zurückkehren, sollten Sie diese Technik erlernen, denn damit werden Sie Ihre Freunde beeindrucken können und es funktioniert auch mit Drehverschlüssen. Sie können lernen, den Verschluss zur Belustigung aller in die Luft zu schiessen oder vorsichtig zu öffnen, um Verletzungen zu vermeiden.
Der Tischler Lassen Sie dies nie einen Deutschen auf Ihrem Tisch oder Ihrer Arbeitsplatte machen, aber die meisten Deutschen besitzen die Fähigkeit, mit einer Hand den Rand der Flasche in einem 90 Grad-Winkel gegen eine harte Oberfläche zu halten und dann mit der anderen Hand gegen die Flasche zu schlagen um den Verschluss zu öffnen. Dies funktioniert nur in 30% der Fälle, das lässt Ihnen eine 70 %ige Chance Ihre Hand zu verletzen oder die Oberfläche zu ruinieren.
Der Doppeldeckler Dies ist eine eher selten genutzte Technik, da Sie hierfür 2 Flaschen benötigen. Sobald die Deutschen bei dem letzten Bier angekommen sind, müssen sie sich eine andere Strategie überlegen. Bei dieser Technik dreht man eine Flasche in die entgegengesetzte Richtung der anderen Flasche und benutzt so den einen Verschluß dazu, den anderen aufzustemmen. Trotz der wenigen Möglichkeiten, diese Technik anzuwenden, ist dies ein recht beeindruckendes Kunststück.
Der Zahnarzt Junge deutsche Männer finden einen Weg, Flaschen mit ihren Zähnen zu öffnen. Es ist nicht bekannt, wie oder warum, aber es sei Ihnen geraten, dies zu vermeiden.
Einige kleinere Brauereien, wie zum Beispiel Flensburger, stellen einen sehr sinnvollen Verschluss her, bei dem man einfach nur gegen den Deckel drücken muss und der Mechanismus lässt den Verschluss aus der Flasche springen, so dass Sie weder eine der oben genannten Techniken anwenden müssen, noch Ihre zarten Hände an einem Schraubverschluss verletzen; wie auch immer, da die Deutschen Bequemlichkeit so sehr verabscheuen, sind diese Flaschen eher unbeliebt.
Bis bald mal wieder,
John
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May 9th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
If you find that amazing next time ask someone to open a wine bottle without any opener. I personally prefer to use a knife or any other kitchen utility that has the right shape but some people can do it with their bare hands.
May 9th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
I just think about to tell my american friends about your weblog. It is really funny and -sometimes- true.
Greetings from Germany,
Rockige
May 9th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
There is, of course, a dedicated weblog for it, too: http://stuff.twoday.net
May 9th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Great site.
May 9th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
I recently had a funny experience in a Kaufland store in Germany. They put a bagger at one cash desk as a test but most customers would decline his service or were shocked to see a stranger taking their groceries and grabbed the things he was holding to bag them themselves.
I guess we just feel uncomfortable watching other people do things for us we could as well do ourselves.
May 9th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
well, you forgot about some other techniques.
1. we can open a beer bottle with a piece of paper, yes it IS possible
2. theres also a way to open it with your eye. very popular here
3. you can open a bottle with your nipple. it’s not a lie. i tried it myself because i couldnt believe it.
there’s videos on youtube and other pages of all 3 techniques
May 9th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Twist-off caps? Not in this universe. What’s next? Wine with twist-off caps? Oh, right …
However, bottles with the „Schnappverschluss“ are cool and convenient plus they aren’t blasphemous like the twist-off caps. And good beer often comes in those bottles.
(Drive through ATMs? Wow. That’s classy. Aehm … crazy.)
May 10th, 2008 at 6:28 am
you forgot The Zollstock, commonly used on construction sites
May 10th, 2008 at 6:55 am
Manuel is so right. About ten years ago I had a student job at a grocery store. I had just returned from one year in the US and my job was to bag other peoples groceries.
You cannot imagine their reactions. Some of them yelled for security because they thought we were stealing their stuff (we WERE wearing branded clothing that identified us as employees), some just stood rooted to the spot and waited until we had bagged everything before paying, some double and triple checked if we really had put everything in their bags.
I had enough after two weeks, doing this in Germany is just way too dangerous
May 10th, 2008 at 10:05 am
87 percent of Germans smoke? I do not belive that. What’s your source?
May 10th, 2008 at 10:40 am
in diesem zusammenhang gibt es eine sehr schöne adresse:
http://stuff.twoday.net/ (1000 arten, ein bier zu öffnen = 1000 methods to open a beer)
^^
May 10th, 2008 at 11:09 am
Actually, those bottles with a “Schnappverschluss” are are beloved.
When you are in a small group and you find yourself drinking Flensburger (or any other beer at all), chances are, that there will be a kind of contest: Who can open his bottle with the loudest noise (this obviosly holds true for other types of caps too).
May 10th, 2008 at 11:35 am
See, and that is the REAL reason we lost WW2. The rest of the world just had no beer good enough to make us REALLY want to conquer them.
May 10th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Good question L. Actually, there is some uncertainty in all of my statistics, so let me explain how I derived this one (87% of Germans smoke).
In my life and travels throughout Germany I have encountered 153,497 Germans. 133,542 of those were smokers, which comes to 87%, which I then extrapolated over the entire population of Germany, about 80 million people. Since my sample size isn’t perfect, this leaves a margin of error of 3%.
So you are right, I should have said between 84 and 90% of Germans are smokers.
A side note, my experience in Germany is heavily weighted towards old Germany, so my numbers may be skewed if new Germans have different nicotine habits.
May 10th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Don’t you want to do some polls on this site?
I have often thought that drive-through ATMs would be a brilliant idea.
May 10th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
@John: The other possibility: you just know the wrong people;-)
http://www.welt.de/politik/article1705836/Zahl_der_Raucher_wird_erheblich_ueberschaetzt.html
Less than a third of the population smoke. Hallelujah!
I regretfully admit that “Methode Zahnarzt” is a personal favorite of mine - unfortunately (for my teeth at least) I don’t smoke. However, it’s only used if my trusty key-chain-bottle-opener isn’t available. It’s just nice to have an alternative…
May 10th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
I had a German colleague who knew all of these techniques and many more. He said he learned them while working construction, where you can drink beer on break and never know what tools you’ll have at your disposal.
I then have to wonder
* are German houses really built as sound as they look?
* how many bottle caps are inside the walls?
* why do so many people do Abitur when they can pick up such useful skills by learning a trade?
May 10th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
you learn then while doing Abitur too. actually Abitur is a codeword for 3 years of partying, drinking and having a whole lot of fun. i made my abitur here and i can honestly say i was drunk 90 % of the time
May 11th, 2008 at 9:37 am
when I lived in Stauttgart some of the breweries there tried the twist offs. I liked them but I think 90% didn’t understood the bootles
because they still used their techniques to open the bottle.
Yesterday I came back from Chicago. One thing I really liked there: Self checkout and my Visacard. Selfcheckouts are fine to get rid off your small change: buy some stuff, scan the codes, put the small change in that little bowl and let the checkout think over it for 2 minutes
May 11th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Great article.
It’s funny to recognize one’s own habits which seem to be pretty normal here.
Best wishes from Germany.
May 11th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Name one good beer that has twist-off caps…
May 12th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Wow, Stuttgart seems to be part of Eastern Germany.
Born in the very northwest of Germany, I had the feeling that smoking will be extinguished in between the next ten years because only few people in my age were smoking and even the older ones mostly already stopped smoking. When I went to Dresden I was surprised how many people smoke over here - at least half of the population. Kind of strange that there are such differences in the habits of the people of the south and the north.
May 12th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
I think, we Germans don’t hate convenience, we just don’t know it could exist. I even cannot translate it into German: Bequemlichkeit? No, that sounds like Faulheit (lazyness), Komfort? sounds like luxury, very next to “special treatment”, in German: “eine Extrawurst gebraten bekommen.” No no, we all have to take the same stony high road
May 12th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
For construction workers there’s the “Feierabendhammer”.
May 12th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
I’ve found one ATM that you can drive through. It’s located at the “Sparkasse” in Traunstein. So if you miss one - just drive about 100km east of munic and feel like home
May 14th, 2008 at 8:15 am
Actually, it is not called Schnappverschluss but Bügelverschluss (c.f. http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/B%C3%BCgelverschluss for Details on it).
In the most beautiful parts of Germany where decent beer comes in Bügelverschlussflaschen (Schleswig-Holstein that is), there is a ‘party game’ where you remove the rubber ring from the Bügelverschluss and turn the ceramic part upside down to perform some kind of tameshiwari: With only one finger try to break the small ceramic pin (usually within the rubber ring).
Do not do this! It will make the bottle useless and we need it for new beer! It is also well possible that you won’t get a clean break but fragments penetrating your skin and flesh …
May 14th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Well, may be that Germans don’t have twist-off caps, but contrary to American beer, German beer tastes well.
May 14th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Well, you basically can use anything to open a beer bottle in Germany. Anything that is fairly hard, is long enough for enough lever power and has an edge. Lighters, spoons, keys, SNES cartridges, chairs, grandmas, cats, etc.
May 14th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
A tight rolled newspaper will also do the job. I once saw a guy using a roll of toiletpaper.
May 15th, 2008 at 7:02 am
If you think the Bügelverschluss is unpopular, go watch one of the Werner movies (I would recommend the second one.. The real-life parts of the first one are hard to bear)
hey, it’s the title of the movie, I’m not guilty). But be carefull, both of ‘em (W. + K.A.) are full of bad german humor, hated by the critics and you’ll probably hate them too.
Oh, and while you’re at it, also watch “Kleines Arschloch”, a fine classic german movie (And a way for me to use profanities here
June 3rd, 2008 at 10:20 am
Actually most Germans i know laugh about the american twist-off bottle caps on beer bottles, seeing them as the inability to simply use a bottle opener and start thinking about what stupid lawsuit with someone chipping a fingernail or equally ridiculous injury caused the beer manufacturers to use idiot proof caps.
With the growing popularity of PET beer bottles, screw caps are now wide spread. But come on, beer in a plastic bottle?
August 13th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
The elder boys always say: “If you can’t open your beer yourself, you may not drink it!” - so you have to learn to open your bottle with whatever you may find. And: using a regular cap opener is *booooring!!*
October 13th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
I usually use:
Lighter, Pen, Bierkrug, Nokia Handy, Keys, Keychain, Table, Fork, Knife - anything that is around.
November 14th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Please note that the “Doppeldecker” is not restricted to the last bottle as a little variant will allow you to open it with one of the already opened bottles (should be empty but doesn’t have to). Of course people are often scared of this technique because of their disbelief in the bottle opening person’s skills. Be assured that only very little practice will avoid any accidents (like breaking the bottle or pouring splinters of glas into it) and even if it should happen it’s always worth a try because of A1 the beer and B2 the supliant glances at you - the Godfather of Recursive Bottle-Opening. It will also make up for not using the “Zahnarzt” method which I personally deny.
Another note I’d like to place is that “The Tischler” method has been refined over the years (see “German engineering”). By taking the bottle neck between your fingers, ball of the hand resting on one half of the cap, and pushing it down rather smoothly (use body weight to make it look even easier) on the previously described hard 90° angled surface you can considerably minimize the risk of injuring yourself. This works pretty well on beer crates so you can open your bottle right at the source without being embarrased by broken wrists or the like.
January 1st, 2009 at 6:41 pm
The bottles are distributed in a cap opener called crate.
Proper crate designs support the one handed opening of the bottle.
That’s less hands than you need to turn a screw cap, the other hand may be used to hold a cigarette or another bottle that’s close to empty.
Grab the bottle firlmly at its neck and hook the cap’s edge onto the top edge of the handle of the crate.
The left side of your right hand’s index finger should touch the bottom edge of the handle now.
Use that to support the pulling down of the bottle against the crate.
Now who does make things complicated here?
January 13th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
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April 2nd, 2009 at 1:47 pm
You wrote that twisted caps on beer bottles are used for almost fifty years. I remember my father telling me that here in Germany all beer bottles had been ‘Bügel’-type, much like those Flens bottles. Those crown-caps were used by cola companies only. Maybe it’s cheaper to produce them. In the late sixties almost all breweries used those beer bottles still in use today, so those ‘Bügelflaschen’ are perceived as nostalgia.
I might be wrong, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen any bottles with twisted crown caps all over Europe, so it might be a genuinely american thing.
April 2nd, 2009 at 3:31 pm
>> I might be wrong, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen any bottles with twisted crown caps all over Europe, so it might be a genuinely american thing.
Well, most beer bottles at least in Germany are reusable bottles. Thus, they’re made of thicker glass then most twist cap bottles I’ve encountered so far.
Maybe there are reusable ‘Mehrweg’-bottles in the US, as well. I don’t know. Haven’t seen them, yet.
However, I did stumble over twist cap bottles in Germany once. They were Bitburger 0.33l bottles sold at Lidl… and they were ‘Einweg’-Flaschen, not reusable ones. Thinner glass, prone to breaking.
That might be why the majority of beer bottles around here do not have twist caps.
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:26 pm
So, what do Germans make of canned beer? Are there tricks for opening that?
April 3rd, 2009 at 6:00 pm
“sie müssen nur den Nippel durch die Lasche ziehen…”
No - canned beer is just not that common here. People brefer their beer bottled, or ideally “direkt vom Fass” (directly out of the barrel).
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Right, not all brands are available in cans… and then there’s the Einweg- or Dosenpfand (deposit) and all beer cans nowadays are 0.5l cans.
Result: You would have to collect huge pint sized cans just to carry them back to the supermarket or beverage store in large plastic bags to get your deposit back — talk about convenient!
Oh, and you should preferably return without indentions and stuff, or else that strange automated machine won’t recognize them and you’ll have to return them one by one to some guy controlling the amount of cans you return…
People just prefer to get their beer in crates of 11, 20 or 24 nice, reusable glass bottles. You still pay a deposit and you still have to return them — but you won’t even look half as stupid as returning 20 pint sized cans in a plastic bag. Also some people say canned beer doesn’t taste right.
Seems Germans are still picky when it’s about beer.
PS: Of course, there are also 0.33l sixpacks — glass bottles of course and also reusable and with deposit and thus to be returned, as well.
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:08 pm
One more thing:
I’m just returning from a little search for the English word for ‘Leergutautomat’. I called it ’strange automated machine’ in the above comment.
Now I found an entry about it on Wikipedia, — they call it ‘reverse vending machine’. Well, ok. You return something and get money back. If you want to call that ‘reverse vending’, nevermind.
Here’s the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverse_vending_machine
April 6th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Where I live in America there is no deposit for cans. However, we can sell them to a metal reycling plant, which pays per pound of aluminum. So, the condition of the cans and number of cans is not an issue. People who recycle cans crush them flat to store a greater volume. Because the return per pound is very low and the recyling plant is not close by, we have to save many cans to make the trip cost-effective. Many charitable organizations also collect cans to raise money and it is easier to donate the cans to them. Also, many communities have a recycling service that will pick up all of your recycle-able trash, just like the trash service, but they do not pay you for it.
Most of our canned beer is 12 ounce size. You can buy “big boys” which are 24 ounce size, but people tend to think you are “low class” or an alcholic if you buy them…Australian Foster’s Lager is the only beer I know of that is available in 0.5l size.
Beer in cans costs significantly less than bottled beer, so it is more popular than bottles. Drinking “longnecks” is a sign of wealth. There have been many attempts to make the canned beer taste like “draught” beer, but Bird of Prey is correct, there is nothing in a can that tastes like “direkt vom Fass”.
April 6th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
>> Most of our canned beer is 12 ounce size. You can buy “big boys” which are 24 ounce size, but people tend to think you are “low class” or an alcholic if you buy them…
That low class thinking thing exists in Germany, too. It’s just that the 0.33l bottles take the place of your small cans. It does that, as I mentioned, even concerning sixpacks. However, those sixpack bottles are reusable, returnable glass bottles.
The idea of deposit on non-reusable beverage containers (including cans, glass and PET bottles) was to promote reusable containers and perhaps also to lower the amount of cans thrown away in cities and parks.
But deposit on non-reusables is 0.25 €, while that on reusable bottles is 0.05 € for standard beer bottles and 0.15 € for most soft drinks. This has helped to reduce the amount of cans sold… but has lead to some drink / size combinations disappearing completely.
There are no 0.33l beer cans, you can hardly find any soft drink in cans apart from the standard Coca-Cola Company products and Lipton sparkling ‘Ice Tea’.
Pepsi is availabe in some shops in 0.5l and 1l PET-bottles, but most shops only sell 1.25l or 1.5l bottles. What if I just want to drink a ’small’ Pepsi? 1.5l bottles for me mean that half of it will be without carbonation before I can empty them… *grmbl*
It’s worse with 7up. I haven’t seen 7up anything smaller than 1l for years. And I always preferred it to Sprite…
April 6th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
PS concerning draught beer:
I think Guinness Draught in cans works pretty well. It’s definately closer to what I got at a pub in Dublin compared to the bottled variant. But that’s rather because of the nitrogen, not the can. Works with bottles as well, but those aren’t available here.
May 31st, 2009 at 4:02 pm
When I was a kid in heidelberg some construction workers impressed me no end by opening a Schnapp- or Bügelverschluss with an extended index finger. I tried it for days, whacking away at the ceramic top until my fingers bled. Finally one of them showed me the trick: Make sure the viewer is fully focussed on your outstretched index finger, then hit the rounded wire on the neck of the bottle with the knuckle of your middle finger. It hurts a little (unless your a construction worker with thickly callused hands) but yeah, the bottle does pop open, and it looks like you did it with your index finger. Magic!
July 17th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
What a great post and wonderful observation! I’m a German living in Los Angeles and I miss the inconvenient German beer bottles… When I was a teenager in Germany at the age of 16, (and that’s the age we’re legally allowed to not only open beer bottles but drink the refreshing brew) I was impressed by guys in my high school who would open beer bottles with a lighter, let alone their teeth!
It’s really not about inconvenience but about the EXPERIENCE. Germans love their beer culture and can’t get enough of “engineering” new ways of how to open beer bottles. Ahhhh…I love hearing the pop when the cap opens!
I can’t wait to read more of your German MacGyver-like experiences.
October 11th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Canned beer isn’t too popular among the more cultivated people here. It’s highly popular among Punks though (as Punks are known for drinking ANYTHING, even export)
You tip the top of the can with your finger a couple of times and then you open it, holding it as far away from your body as you can, not knowing if the a**hole who gave it to you didn’t shake it before
November 17th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
My personal favourite technique:
One ring to open them all
http://www.geekwear.de/produktbilder/medium/Flaschenoeffner-Ring.jpg
January 7th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
I’m German and since I was a child I can open my beer with nearly everything. It just works with a piece of Paper!
OK, MacGyver can build a Gun with a Bubblegum and his Knife… I can’t…
February 6th, 2010 at 10:52 pm
Those Plöpps go back to the early Pickelhauben drinking days - another lost war, but the plöpp goes on!
BTW: German canned bear is made for export purposes.
No German who loves bear drinks that kinda stuff - unless he visits the States, o`course! ;o)
February 10th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
Drive-through ATMs are great. But as a non-motorized German living in the States, two things always cracked me up about them:
1. Most of the time, they ONLY had drive-through, so as a pedestrian I would have to stand in between all the pick ups and wait my turn. Some strange looks I got there.
2. Drive-through ATMs WITH BRAILLE LETTERS ON THE KEYPADS???? You just gotta be kidding me. If blind people are using the drive-through ATMs, clearly their biggest problem will NOT be how to figure out where the 5 or 9 is.
:))