And they are right.
When you move to Germany, you will have to defend yourself against people wondering why Americans seem to think Germany doesn’t have electricity or color television. So be prepared to explain to them exactly why we know nothing about their country.
In Germany, everyone is an expert on world affairs, because their local news is so boring. They can talk about everything in the world in the 15 minute Tagesschau, whereas we need a 30 minute daily show just to cover sports. It only takes a few minutes to say that Bayern Munich is champion again, but we’ve got college basketball, pro basketball, college football, pro football, hockey, golf, tennis, baseball, Nascar, Indy, just to get started….
Plus in Germany, the worst that can happen is some high winds or some flooding. In America we have hurricanes, tornadoes, wild fires, mudslides, blizzards, earthquakes, and bears. In the local news in Germany, the top story would be someone’s bike getting stolen, whereas we have murder, mugging, armed-robbery, and high speed police chases in every big city every single day. We have action news in America. German news just isn’t that exciting, so Germans have to find out about what’s going on elsewhere outside their borders.
Also, Germans just don’t seem to understand that America is responsible for everything good in the world. Maybe they are just jealous that we invented freedom, democracy, fireworks, satellites, and the automobile.
Once you are back to the US from Germany, people will politely ask you about Germany, even though they aren’t really interested. Be prepared to answer questions like, “Is Germany near Europe?”, without laughing out loud and embarrassing someone who is just trying to be nice to you.
Also, 97% of the time when you mention that you have lived in Germany, someone will say, “Oh, my best-friend’s sister’s aunt is 1/4 German!” Try to come up with a good response to this in advance. We haven’t come up with one yet.
deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden
Astrid, ja hi!
hier die Übersetzung:
Die Deutschen glauben, dass Amerikaner nichts vom Rest der Welt wissen
Und sie haben Recht.
Wenn Sie nach Deutschland ziehen, müssen Sie sich gegen Leute wehren, die sich wundern, warum Amerikaner zu denken scheinen, dass es in Deutschland keine Elektrizität oder Fernsehen gibt. Bereiten Sie sich also darauf vor, diesen Menschen zu erklären, warum wir rein gar nichts über ihr Land wissen.
In Deutschland ist jeder ein Experte in Sachen Weltgeschehen, weil die lokalen Nachrichten so stinklangweilig sind. Sie können über alles, was in der Welt passiert, in der 15minütigen Tagesschau berichten, während wir täglich bereits 30 Minuten brauchen, nur um den Sportteil abzudecken. Es dauert nur ein paar Minuten, um darüber zu berichten, dass Bayern München wieder einmal Meister geworden ist, aber bei uns gibt es Universitätsbasketball, professionellen Basketball, Universitätsfootball, professionellen Football, Hockey, Golf, Tennis, Baseball, Nascar, Indy, nur um ein paar zu nennen.
Zusätzlich ist das Schlimmste, was in Deutschland passieren kann, ein Sturm oder eine Überflutung. In Amerika gibt es Hurricanes, Tornados, Wildfeuer, Erdrutsche, Blizzards, Erdbeben und Bären. In Deutschland wäre die Meldung des Tages, dass ein Fahrrad gestohlen wurde, während es bei uns täglich Mord, bewaffnete Raubüberfälle und wilde Verfolgungsjagden mit der Polizei in jeder grösseren Stadt gibt.
Wir haben Actionnews in Amerika. Deutsche Nachrichten sind nicht so aufregend, so dass Deutsche herausfinden müssen, was ausserhalb ihrer Landesgrenzen passiert.
Ausserdem scheinen die Deutschen nicht zu verstehen, dass Amerika für alle guten Dinge in der Welt verantwortlich ist. Vielleicht sind sie nur neidisch, dass wir den Frieden, die Demokratie, das Feuerwerk, Satelliten und das Auto erfunden haben.
Wenn Sie von Deutschland nach Amerika zurückkommen, werden die Leute Sie höflich nach Ihrem Aufenthalt in Deutschland fragen, auch wenn es sie eigentlich gar nicht interessiert. Bereiten Sie sich darauf vor, Fragen wie “Ist Deutschland bei Europa?” beantworten zu müssen, ohne laut loszulachen und jemanden in Verlegenheit zu verbringen, der nur nett zu Ihnen sein will.
97% der Zeit, in der Sie erwähnen, dass Sie in Deutschland gelebt haben, wird jemand sagen “Oh, die Tante der Schwester meiner besten Freundin ist 1/4 deutsch!”. Überlegen Sie sich im Vorfeld eine gute Antwort hierfür. Bisher gibt es noch keine.
Fette Grüße,
John
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May 12th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
“Also, Germans just don’t seem to understand that America is responsible for everything good in the world. Maybe they are just jealous that we invented freedom, democracy, fireworks, satellites, and the automobile.”
ROFL
May 12th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Brüller!!!
May 12th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Prepare to be flamed by my fellow countrymen with a defective satire-detector
May 12th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
“Once you are back to the US from Germany, people will politely ask you about Germany, even though they aren’t really interested.”
Why? Why are they not interested?
May 12th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Even with a working ironie detector most Germans will feel the laugh stuck in their throats. The stereotype of the uber-self-assured American is just too strong. (My problem is, that this blog itself is so full of stereotypes, cliches and generalizations where it could educate or elucidate.)
May 12th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
In my last article I took several minutes to construct tables to educate and elucidate on the various ways to say “the” in German. Isn’t that enough for one man?
May 12th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
> “Oh, my best-friend’s sister’s aunt is 1/4 German!” Try to come up with
> a good response to this in advance.
How about “Really? That’s nice, isn’t it?”, and then go on to talk about the latest results of college basketball, pro basketball, college football, pro football, hockey, golf, tennis, baseball, Nascar, Indy, …
May 13th, 2008 at 12:58 am
Mh, Rousseau, Locke and Aristotle came up with concepts of political / philosophical freedom way before 1776. The Chinese actually invented fireworks. And satellites - weren’t the Russians faster with Sputnik while the idea of geosync satellites was already born in europe?
And really, some bizarre steam-driven vehicles don’t count as the first car. The first automobiles with gasoline combustion engines were of course a german product by Benz and Daimler :).
May 13th, 2008 at 2:58 am
Oh man, that’s so embarrassing. Next time, I am totally going to do some fact checking before I post.
May 13th, 2008 at 5:38 am
Hahahahaha… i just thought “how elitist”… but then, after reading ” but we’ve got college basketball, pro basketball, college football, pro football, hockey, golf, tennis, baseball, Nascar, Indy, just to get started….” i noticed, that the message isn’t what i thought initially.
Oh, and please watch some private stations too, you would be surprised how low the standard can be. In fact, most state-owned stations (ARD, ZDF e.g.) cover “the stolen bicycle” in special “magazines” where celebs appear on screen too. We just separated worldnews from boulevard.
May 13th, 2008 at 6:03 am
I really like the tone of this blog
By the way: My mother’s father’s wife’s daughter’s best friend is American. A really educated guy I love to talk to.
May 13th, 2008 at 6:38 am
@TabulaRasa
exactly my point. A lot of germans I know would have great difficulty in understand the message in this post. Humor and sarcasm obviously doesn’t come naturally
May 13th, 2008 at 7:20 am
Maybe you should stop this blog now before it gets too embarrassing.
Or you could learn how to be actually funny - so far you’re mostly recycling stereotypes (in a really dumb and almost offensive way).
One can get the same information from Susan Stern’s “These strange German ways” in a much more educated fashion.
May 13th, 2008 at 7:27 am
as a brit living in germany for over 10 years, I find this blog very amusing and observative. good fun.
May 13th, 2008 at 7:55 am
On one on my trips zu the USA, i was asked, how it is, to drive on the Autobahn. I tried to explain, but during the talk, i realized, the guy, who asked, thought, the autobahn was something like a special motor-speedway build from our government espacially for us cititzen, so that we can drive fast. So that the outcome of “Tested on the Autobahn” in comercials
The thing with electricity: A colleague of mine told me, when she arrived from the US for the first time in Germany, she also thought, well, where do they have the electricity until she asked and were told, that our cable are put underground, whereas in the US, the cables are often run over poles.
Hey, John, love your blog and i would kiss my TV, if the Tagesschau would have a 15-20min sports section, covering something else then only Fussball, but then again, ARD-made TV-Sports is, compared to US-Sports-coverage, soooo boring. Or maybe only fussball is…….
May 13th, 2008 at 8:27 am
Oh my, I have tears running down my face from laughing so hard … this post is one of your best so far. Captures the German and US stereotypes perfectly.
On a more serious note: The German arrogance of assuming that we are so well informed about everything drove me crazy when everyone told me how America is after I got back. When I tried to correct my friends and teachers they told me I got it all wrong. *argh*
On the other hand I found US Americans very open and willing to adapt their views of things. When I explained things to them, they were really grateful and corrected their sometimes rather unusual points of view. One thing I love about you guys
May 13th, 2008 at 9:32 am
Also das wichtigste was die Amerikaner “erfunden” haben ist nicht die Freiheit, sondern eine Sache, die so dermaßen fundamental für die Amerikaner ist, dass sie es selbst vermutlich nicht wissen: Das Sampling.
Das Sampling ist das, was Amerika groß und stark gemacht hat. Es ist alles immer schon dagewesen. Bis auf die Satelliten vielleicht. Aber es ist ja eher metaphorisch gemeint.
Die Amerikaner schauen sich das Angebot an, dass die Welt ihnen gibt und nehmen von allem das beste. Die Freiheit, die Demokratie, Basketball und sampeln es, kombinieren es neu und heben es auf eine neue Stufe. Letzendlich ist sogar die eigene Bevölkerung und die eigene Sprache gesampelt.
Was am Ende dabei herauskommt ist der ultimative Hitsong, die First Nation, die U S A.
lg rossi
May 13th, 2008 at 10:53 am
May (deity of choice) save us from interesting times!
May 13th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
The first automobile that appeared on the street was invented in Mannheim. Furthermore in Mannheim was invented the first bicycle by Mr. Drais, the first tractor bulldog by Mr. Lanz and the first rocket plane by Mr. Hatry.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mannheim
Well what could a city make out of this part of its history. I do not know what an American city would do for its marketing. But Mannheim informs you that you need a special environment plaque for journey: http://www.tourist-mannheim.de/. Hm .. well .. hm
May 13th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
TabulaRasa: Good call. 91% of Germans have a defective satire detector.
May 13th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
I love your blog and keep laughing about every post. Even if it MAY be a little stereotypical in some places, those stereotypes must have developped somehow, right?
May 13th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
@ all complaining about stereotypes:
I don’t quite get your point. Yeah, making fun of and playing with stereotypes is what this blog seems to be about. So?
It’s fun if you look at all those stereotypes and exeggerate them to the maximum. And even if some isn’t funny, a bad joke is better than none.
May 13th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
These posts get better and better! I say crank the sarcasm to 11 (based on a scale of 1-10, German friends), because that’s what The InterWeb is for. And porn.
Clearly the author is a proud American who loves Germany.
And now back to porn.
May 13th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Oh yeah, and we invented French, I mean Freedom Fries.
May 13th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Ts, ts ts. The Automobile, the most german of all things? I think the correct german term here is EIGENTOR!
Still love your blog though, nix für ungut.
@Gerhart: Oh, you’re from Belgium?
May 13th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Wow, Germans must have no sense of humor after all if they don’t get the sarcasm about the “American” inventions. Yeah, right. Eigentor.
Great blog!
May 13th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Brilliant blog, keep it up!
I guess most of Germans’ “defective satire-detector” may be simply explained by the language barrier, so don’t put too much weight on it. But I’m really missing one essential aspect of German culture - sexuality - and some profound analyses of transatlantic differences! Just a gem from the “Study Abroad Handbook” from the Center for Global Education about Germany:
“In television and movies, the media tends to portray U.S. women as promiscuous. Simply smiling or saying hello to the opposite sex in Germany may be all that is needed to confirm this unflattering stereotype in their minds. To avoid trouble and unwanted attention, ask local women you meet and your program’s administrators about what is considered “appropriate” behavior and dress for women.”
http://www.studentsabroad.com/germany/specialissues.html
This is really funny, isn’t it? Really, I would have never thought of this!
So don’t be prudish but enlighten our fellow American readers about mixed saunas (as someone [British?] on his blog bemusedly wrote: “The doings in a mixed German sauna are as chaste as in church.”), Bravo & Dr. Sommer, sex shops in city centers or close to schools or churches and naked breasts everywhere on TV…
May 13th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Axel, your link’s content seems to be copy-pasted from a generic “foreign country” article and only very slightly adapted to the target country. So, its content shouldn’t be interpreted to heavily, I suppose.
May 13th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Great blog, great article. I just wanted to mention that germans also invented, among other things, beer, television, protestantism (three things americans seem to love very much),aspirin, modern physics, x-ray, bookprint and of course the fräulein
May 13th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
And of course we invented the Hamburger, which is nowadays even considered absolutely american! THAT is cultural imperialism!
May 14th, 2008 at 12:06 am
Don’t forget Döner Kebab!
May 14th, 2008 at 1:49 am
Have to agree with Luke. This blog is a collection of stereotypes, broad generalizations, simplifications, and ranting. Boring. Mostly not funny.
You could try to make it informative, like on usaerklaert, which at least sometimes tries to be objective (frequently not successfully though, even with overblown wording). But that would probably be too much work and not enough bitching, err, fun. Right?
May 14th, 2008 at 2:38 am
Really, really funny blog
As a German exchange student in the US I can assure you that your stereotypes are completely correct, about both countries. And it says a lot about my country, that people will discuss the statement “Germans don’t have humour and don’t understand sarcasm. AT ALL.” pages long, sometimes even with scources.
There’re 2 questions I hear over and over again, and they really fulfill the stereotype of somewhat ignorant Americans.
1) Have you been on the Autobahn? (Which is fine. Having no speedlimit is for Germans as essential as the second ammendment for Americans)
2) Do you guys still like Hitler? -.-
Regards from Maine, USA.
May 14th, 2008 at 3:22 am
Right on, Robert. 98% of Germans are afraid of embarrassing themselves.
May 14th, 2008 at 3:29 am
And Robert…right yet again, the Germans’ true colors are shown not in the blog posts, but in the comments. Now THAT’S hilarious!
May 14th, 2008 at 7:13 am
Why do you hate Germany so much?
May 14th, 2008 at 8:39 am
I just wanted to add that it’s hardly surprising that some of the Germans writing comments here don’t seem to understand the sarcasm:
You don’t know how it is to be called a Nazi by people you never met before throughout the whole world.
Some people seem to find every single comment about Germany offensive, because they think that you are just another random guy who hates Germans. I do understand that.
I like your blog though, and I’m sure most of the Germans do (or would, if they knew about it).
May 14th, 2008 at 9:11 am
I dont think that this is the reason - everyone who reads this blog knows that its meant in a funny way and not to be offensive
May 14th, 2008 at 10:21 am
Well, Tucholsky already said: “Wenn einer bei uns einen guten Witz macht, dann sitzt halb Deutschland auf dem Sofa und nimmt übel.”
(If someone tells a real good joke / does something really funny, afterwards half of the german population can be found on the couch pouting.)
Seems not much has changed since he wrote that, back in 1919.
May 14th, 2008 at 10:34 am
Maybe, just maybe, the author of this blog never intended it to be like “USA Erklärt”? Maybe, just maybe, it’s intended to be a fun read, based on real observations that are described in a satirically exaggerated style? Maybe, just maybe, it’s not an author’s job to change to meet the expectations of readers he never forced to come by, but the readers’ job to look for authors whose style they enjoy reading?
Ah, well, I’ll shut up now, some people just really enjoy complaining about everyone and everything.
I really enjoy reading your blog. Thanks for writing
May 14th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
I’m totally embarrassed that so many of my fellow Germans don’t get the point of this blog.
Well, not really. Bwahaha!
Please keep it up. The title of your blog alone made me bookmark it before even reading it.
May 14th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Personally, I’m much more offended by the Hasselhoff-sterotype than by the Nazi-stereotype. Most nazi-jokes about todays Germany are just sooo lame a, but still, it’s important to be able to laugh about yourself, i don’t know if anyone here watches Conan O’Briens show, but his fake geman is just hilarious, because thats the way german sounds to an untrained ear. Earlier this year he had a segment called “german disco”, so funny and well observed. watch it on You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZawMWMgztSU
May 14th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Reading through these comments, I can’t help but think two things:
1) Far too many of the German commenters just don’t understand satire.
2) Far too many of the non-German commenters have been in Germany far too long.
May 14th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
I think the vast majority gets the sarcasm. what comes around gets around, so if some of my fellow germans need a dose of strange american behaviour, I strongly recommend this book:
http://www.amazon.de/Streiflichter-aus-Amerika-Fortgeschrittene-Taschenb%C3%BCcher/dp/3442451248/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1210782807&sr=1-2
resp.
http://www.amazon.com/Im-Stranger-Here-Myself-Returning/dp/076790382X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_8?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1210783047&sr=8-8
May 14th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
@all
What people are “americans”. Some Indians and many, many, many ones from almost every other country in the world.
So as a matter of fact, somehow americans inventet all. Did’nt they?
Smile
May 14th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9HulLq4eb0
May 14th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
I find that video offensive and ignorant.
May 14th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
Ah, so that page called Errate is not for admitting and correcting mistakes but for pointing out sarcasm! Stupid german me, guess I do have a lot to learn. (Oops … now was that ironic?)
May 14th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Is France a country ?
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=ggBGsp7suFc
Seriously, are you still wondering about your reputation in the world ?
Just watch Jay Leno when he interviews ordinary people on the street about simple things like world geography or US history.
Btw the girl in the youtube movie got pretty far in a singing casting show. But in her defense, she is blonde….
Don’t worry, it has subtitles.
http://de.youtube.com/results?search_query=volker+pispers+englisch&search_type=
http://www.speedygrl.com/america_big.gif
http://www.wordsoup.com/blog/americanview.gif
Enough US bashing. For now.
May 15th, 2008 at 1:43 am
Is France a country ?
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=ggBGsp7suFc
Any questions left ?
She (Kelly “Pick Pickler” Pickler) got quite far in “Amerika sucht den Superstar” some years ago. But in her defense: she is blonde.
And if you want to argue that she is just one of 200 millions: just watch Jay Leno doing “Jaywalking” (asking randomly chosen people on the street fairly easy questions (e.g. world geopgraphy or US history)).
http://www.msxnet.org/humour/world-according-to-america.png
http://www.passionateamerica.com/pictures/american-world-800×560.jpg
And finally a summary of American history by a German (don’t worry, it has English subtitles): ‘Americans know one thing about the world: “we are the good guys”‘.
http://de.youtube.com/results?search_query=volker+pispers+englisch&search_type=
P.S.: satire is a fine line. But we can offer you credits for “freedom fries” ?!
May 15th, 2008 at 8:05 am
Quite honestly, I think part of the reason a good chunk of the Germans in the comments react so butthurt is that they’re lacking proper net socialization. If 90% of your time is spend on the English side of the force, you’ll eventually learn to “get” sarcasm and satire of the Anglo-Saxon variety at some point or another, no matter how much your genetic material may protest the issue. So basically the Germans here just need to abandon SPON and put down the Zeit and go for the Times (or possibly The Onion) instead and everything will be dandy in a couple of years
May 15th, 2008 at 11:18 am
C’mon, don’t tell us about sarcasm or satire. Ve inventedd te German acccccent. We brought roofs to the houses of our african colonies that were build snow-secure. And we are still laughing about any American who puts on a Lederhosen while visiting the Oktoberfest.
May 15th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Oh yeah, we know what’s going on in the world. When I heard people asking me if we have a fridge I would have liked to answer that we still live in a cave. Many Americans know nothing about the rest of the world cause they are either not interested, busy or yes..your country is too big. As for America just doing all the good in the world..I don’t agree at all. Do some research guys…Only Americans think that America does good all the time..oh wait..not even that is true anymore. But oh well..I love you guys anyways
May 15th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Weird, sometimes the postings appear right after sending them, and sometimes it takes a few hours. Sorry for the double post.
May 15th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
No worries Ares, the software that runs this site puts your first comment on hold for moderation so that we don’t get a lot of spam on here. After that you can post instantly usually.
May 15th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
I hate to add another one, but this was just published today:
http://www.heise.de/tp/blogs/4/107906
“Alisa Miller zeigt in einem Vortrag zur TED 2008, dass auf den ersten Blick alle Klischees über US-amerikanische News zutreffen. Eigentlich interessiert dort nur das eigene Land und das Land, in dem die eigenen Söhne sterben. Ausserhalb von USA und Irak finden finden kaum Headlines statt.”
May 15th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
It’s kind of touching how touchy people are about having their country made the butt of jokes (particularly if they only have a vague sense that there’s a joke being made). Even if they are, statistically, not even supposed to feel much pride in that country. The only people who are probably capable of enduring being laughed at in any style are the English.
That said, I’m finding the “anthropological” posts on this blogs (about handshaking etiquette or rollerblading families) much funnier and more interesting than the ones with the same-old same-old stereotypes. Oh, and the weather thing is just getting tired. Please don’t do any more weather posts. Unless they’re anthropological.
May 16th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
wow john. you were right.
to the haters: why does the blog have to be educational? people keep writing that this blog would be better if it was more educational. i didn’t realize that the tubes of the internets (also invented by americans) were strictly for educational purposes. surely al gore had some intention of hilarity and porn when he invented the internets.
May 19th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
“Oh, my best-friend’s sister’s aunt is 1/4 German!” Try to come up with a good response to this in advance. We haven’t come up with one yet.
That one’s easy: ask her about her aunt. Does she speak any German? Has she ever been to Germany? It’s just polite to do a little conversation before steering somewhere else. Or don’t steer at all if you just want to spend some time without a dedicated objective.
May 22nd, 2008 at 7:39 pm
i don’t feel offended when people in the US don’t know where germany is. i mean germany is damn far away, isn’t it?
when i ask germans about news in india (or the us) the don’T have a clue unless they have a special interest in the country.
May 30th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
Axel has really found a gem there. That handbook on Germany: “In some countries, even modern ones, homosexual sex itself can result in severe state-sanctioned punishment up to and including the death penalty.”
May 31st, 2008 at 4:30 pm
As a German living in the U.S. I find this blog funny. The sarcasm about stereotypes is great. I am sorry that a lot of Germans don’t get it. Maybe I lived too long in the U.S.? Anyhow, I love both countries and I think this blog is great…..
Oliver
May 31st, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Sarcasm is a subtile piece of art, you better use a scalpel instead of a hacksaw.
If you believe the stereotype, irony ins’t the amricans strongest side, so wtf.
Europeans often forget that america is a huge country, where a lot of stuff happens. So you better compare it to europe instead of a single european country. So average americans may not know a lot (about the world), but neither do we, we may know a lot of the stuff going on over there, but has anyone here checked the latest news out of bulgaria or finland….I bet not, and why should you.
June 3rd, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Yeah, i guess most Germans would be troubled to name the capital of any given US state, except New York.
June 3rd, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Sorry to be such a uber-self-assured American, but geez, Germany, do we have to remind you of the score? Two to nothing. And those were big games, too. Maybe you could behave yourself this century?
June 17th, 2008 at 1:57 am
If you ask me, I think these blogs are making fun of America more than Germany. ^_^’
June 20th, 2008 at 10:06 am
“Once you are back to the US from Germany, people will politely ask you about Germany, even though they aren’t really interested.”
Oh lawd, so true, this is America
“Also, 97% of the time when you mention that you have lived in Germany, someone will say, “Oh, my best-friend’s sister’s aunt is 1/4 German!” Try to come up with a good response to this in advance. We haven’t come up with one yet.”
ROFL
June 24th, 2008 at 6:14 am
You forgot to mention that Americans invented the lightbulb, the telephone, the computer and foreign politics. And pretzels and beersteins of course!
June 24th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
The name of the inventor of the telephone starts with A, but he was definitely not American:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invention_of_the_telephone
June 25th, 2008 at 7:11 am
Hi John, you have forgotten to translate this article.
June 25th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Ach, you are right Werner… We will try to correct this mistake expediently.
Thanks.
June 27th, 2008 at 10:58 am
actually that is the dumbest blog answer i have ever read in my life and i guess it reflects the authors nationality (American I guess). The truth is that Americans are ignorant and its not because so much is happening in their country that they dont have time to broadcast news about the rest of the world.
The real reason is because Americans are not interested in anything that happens outside their country because they think the US IS the world. They think that everyone else has boring lives and that the californian lifestyle is the only lifestyle people in the world strive for. Its such a consumer society that poverty and wars in other parts of the world come after the sports announcements on TV if at all! For Americans, NBA games are more important than the genocide in Sudan or the troubles in Gaza.
Also American ignorance makes the author say things like there are so many interesting things in the US etc etc. Believe me, the US culture is pathetically lacking when you compare it to culture in North Africa, China or India. So don’t tell me there is so much news to be covered about America.
Americans should finally recognize the need to inform themselves. To do that they shoudl have a larger section allocated to world news on FOX TV. Stop being ignorant about the world, because the world is not ignorant about you.
cheers,
Hans
June 27th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Hans, I think you should recalibrate your irony-dedector.
June 27th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Yeah thanks Werner, you have me translate this into German and now I get told that my culture sucks. Great.
June 27th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Well John that’s because your culture does suck…big tim, everyone here thinks that they’re just too polite to tell you….just kidding of course….they don’t tell you because they think its funny.
Hans is the kind of guy I refer to as an AAA - anti-american….guess what the third “a” stands for, i’m not saying that being anti-american necessarily makes you an a-hole, but there is this special kind of self-righteousness involved, which I really can’t stand. Just the way he uses the words “they…” and “the americans…” are tells a lot. As if all americans are the same. In my opinion the smartest as well as the dumbest people in the western world live in the US. And how stupid is it to call someone (or a whole country) ignorant while being ignorant.
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:49 am
I have to say that since I have been living in Germany I do also believe that a lot of Germans are jealous of the United States. They try so desperately to emulate the US, and come up SO short…I know after living here that this place is woefully behind in SO many ways…and I would call it covertly Totalitarian. Those that don’t know this or who disagree really have not dug into the facts that exist.
I’m glad to be returning to the US…..
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:52 am
OH, and P.S….
I know quite a lot about the rest of the world, I have lived in Morocco also, and traveled extensively. I know my geography, and I know that the school system in the US is far superior to that of many countries (including Germany).
I know that when I see SO MANY people smoking cigarettes still here in 2008, there’s something REALLY wrong…this is a Totalitarian society, and those who don’t know or believe it, are in denial and fooling themselves.
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Hi, i’m from Germany and I’ve to tell you that the car was invented by a German, satellites were invented by the Russians, fireworks were invented by Chinese people, Greece invented the Idea of a Democracy, and Freedom was always there.
Thats it, Verify your informations please!
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Thank you Julian.
It has previously been pointed out that these informations should have been verified, and this has been addressed in the Errata page under the Informations section.
Thanks again for your diligence in correcting me.
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:25 pm
“Yeah, i guess most Germans would be troubled to name the capital of any given US state, except New York.”
I’d argue that very, very few people outside the US (or even outside New York) even know that Albany exists. Probably because its just a small, ordinary town (pop < 100.000) that happens to house the state capitol, like most US state captitals.
There are a couple of easy ones though, eg Arizona, Texas, Hawaii or Utah.
July 24th, 2008 at 11:26 am
No Problem John -.-
July 24th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
“I know that when I see SO MANY people smoking cigarettes still here in 2008, there’s something REALLY wrong…this is a Totalitarian society”
Isn’t that contradictory? You could consider the new law banning cigarette smoking from restaurants totalitarian - therefore people smoking where- and whenever they want must be the opposite. (anarchic?)
July 24th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
@Leaving Germany Soon…
>I know that when I see SO MANY people smoking cigarettes still here in >2008, there’s something REALLY wrong…this is a Totalitarian society
I am afraid that I don’t understand… You like to point out that Germany got a “Totalitarian society” and the fact that there are so many smokers is the evidence?
>Those that don’t know this or who disagree really have not dug into the >facts that exist.
I am obviously not able to see them. Could you help me?
>They try so desperately to emulate the US, and come up SO short…
Huh? What are you talking about? I don’t think that there one German who even think that the USA is worth to emulate. How do they emulate? Using phones, computers, cars? Probably you mean that since a few years Germans start to be more and more unreliable…
> I’m glad to be returning to the US…..
I think all people feel that way… Coming home should be allways good…
But I feel really sorry about that you obvously did’nt enjoy your visit here.
I think John often points out that there are some habits looking strange
to aliens. But I think on a closer view most of them definitely make sense!
July 25th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Nice blog
Since my humour grounds firmly in cliches and stereotypes, this is a lot of fun to read.
Did you know the US of A aren’t really the US of A but just some sort
of federal republic in the northern half of the American continent?
Tschöö, bis demnächst
July 30th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
It would almost be funny if you didn’t have to experience it every day, no?
BTW, I thought the Russians invented all that stuff.
July 31st, 2008 at 12:12 pm
I understand the irony in the article above but let me tell you a notable story:
my sister lived in Miami Beach, Fl. from 2000 until 2003. When I visited her for the first time her partner’s daughter - 9 years old - asked me if we have got cars and Game boys in Germany … maybe I shouldn’t have played “The legend of Zelda - Ocarina of time” on the N64 that often …
July 31st, 2008 at 12:48 pm
I forgot to mention that about two years ago we also had a bear in Germany … the “Problembär Bruno” which was shot in Bavaria because the bear did what wild animals have to do: eat :-/