Archive for May 16th, 2008

Quick Tipp - feining interest in soccer

Friday, May 16th, 2008

One great way to integrate into German culture is to pretend to like soccer. There are two main strategies here, plus one rarely used alternative that is worth mentioning.

  1. Learn to love your local team. The teams in the German premier league, the Bundesliga, are spread throughout the country. Become a fan of the nearest team and follow them religiously. If you are located in New Germany, or in an area with lots of New Germans living there, supporting every team from New Germany is considered good form.
  2. Become a Bayern Munich fan. This is a strategy that must considered very carefully, but it can yield great results. 92% of Germans hate Bayern Munich, even in Munich itself. The remaining 8% will want to be friends with you automatically, because they wouldn’t have any friends otherwise. This severely limits your demographics, but sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures.

The lesser used strategy is to become a St. Pauli supporter. This will keep people at safe a distance from you.

deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden

Americans think German service is worse than it is

Friday, May 16th, 2008

Doener KebabThere is a major cultural difference between Americans and Germans, and that is in how we dine out. In America, we always need a distraction, we don’t just sit around and talk, there must be something else going on.

That’s why we love baseball, it gives us a backdrop to sit in the sun, drink a beer, and catch up. In baseball, every game has a minimum of 17 warm up periods, plus a “7-inning stretch”, so there is plenty of time to chat or insult the players. Americans complain that soccer is boring, but really the problem with soccer is that it doesn’t fit into our mold of a sport that gives us frequent breaks in the action for chances to talk.

Our collective national attention deficit disorder extends to dining out as well. We want to walk into the door, be greeted immediately, get shown to a table, get greeted by the waitress within 2 minutes, have drinks delivered within 5 minutes, and have the meal finished within 30 minutes. Within 3 minutes of our last bite, we want to have the check payed for so we can move on to the next distraction. Our number one complaint at restaurants is that the check took too long. Americans have always just been lookin for freedom, and we absolutely hate the feeling of being held hostage by a waitress not giving us the check.

Herein lies the source of all cultural misunderstandings at restaurants between our two proud nations.

Germans want to get the check only after they have asked for it, because they view it as pushy by the waitress to throw the check on the table, as if to say “get out of here, now”. In America, it is a given that we want to get out of there right now.

Germans usually want to sit and have a few more drinks and chat a while before going home, because dinner and socializing are enough for Europeans. If Americans want to have a few more drinks and chat, we have to go somewhere with either TV’s on all the walls, pool tables, or some kind of video game to keep us distracted.

So if you are dining out in Germany, here are the rules to not be completely annoyed by a lack of service.

  1. Go look for a table yourself, no one is going to greet you and show you to a table.
  2. If there are none available, move on to the next restaurant, because the people aren’t leaving anytime soon (if you are in Bavaria its ok to just join someone else’s table if there is space. You can just ignore them like other people sitting across from you on the subway, or throw in some small talk, if you want).
  3. If you don’t know what you want, order Wiener Schnitzel, you will never go wrong. Put some mayonnaise on your fries, its actually really good to dip fatty potatoes into a fatty sauce.
  4. When you want something, such as the check, its your job to grab the waitress’ attention.

Germans have the legitimate complaint about American wait staff, that they constantly pester you and interrupt your discussions to ask you 47 times if everybody’s doing ok over here.

Our complaints for Germany is that they don’t often make themselves available to ask for the check, and just assume that you don’t have any other plans for the night, so speed couldn’t possibly be an issue.

If your order wasn’t what you were expecting because of some kind of miscommunication or mix up, your waitress in Germany will always matter-of-factly explain to you that that is what you ordered, and that is what you are getting.

But the thing that is very strange is that the German waitress first ask you after you have finished your entire meal if it tasted good. That way its too late to do anything to fix it, which we expect American restaurants to do for us, if we aren’t satisfied. (One hint for the Germans, if you complain enough at a restaurant, you will get free stuff in America).

Last tip for Americans, if you want to avoid spending a lot of time dining out, because you want to do other things, ask a local kid where the best Döner Kebab in town is. It’s kind of a Germanized Turkish treat similar to a Gyro, that will be served up quick, is fairly healthy for fast food, and really beats going to the Embassy. Memorize this phrase to order: “Einmal Döner normalfleisch mit ohne Zwiebel scharf, bidde,” and enjoy the food that Germans miss the most when they are abroad.

And one last helpful tip for any Germans that want to take advantage of free refills in America: you won’t get any more as soon as you pay your bill. In America, that super friendly waitress will cease to acknowledge your existence the instant you have settled up.

deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden

Quick Tipp - tipping

Friday, May 16th, 2008

Most Germans don’t understand tipping in America, just as most Americans don’t understand tipping in Germany.

In America, your waiter is dependent on tips to survive, because their minimum wage is just over $2/hour, and the US dollar doesn’t go too far anymore. That’s why we have the standard guideline of 15% which we adjust up or down based on whether the waiter squatted down to eye level with us, wore enough pieces of flare, drew a smiley face on the check, or let our food get cold by taking a smoke break out back. Germans often don’t know that they are supposed to add 3% whenever the waiter makes physical contact with them.

Americans try to tip nonchalantly by saying either “keep the change”, or leaving money on the table for them to pick up later. Most of the time we pay with a credit card while dining out, which baffles Germans that they run our transaction through the credit system and give us a receipt, and then we change the amount of transaction while signing. What happens here is that the restaurant will adjust the transaction amount by the tip amount at the end of the day. This is generally done under the supervision of the manager, so that waiters don’t steal from you. If you do pay by credit card, it is a good idea to check a few days later that the amount charged matches up, which it does 99% of the time.

If you are a typical German, you will drink 5 Budweisers and explain to everyone around you that it is not real Budweiser and that it tastes like water. After that, you may not be able to add numbers anymore so if you pay by credit card, the amount you actually tip is number you write down as the tip not the sum you wrote down. If you add it up wrong, your lack of math skills will be ignored.

If you really like the waiter, the best is to tip them with cash, because then they aren’t forced to pay taxes, if they don’t want to.

In Germany the waitresses aren’t so dependent on the tips, because they make a higher wage. But that doesn’t mean people don’t tip in Germany; they just don’t tip as much. It seems to be a rumor that you don’t have to tip in Europe at all, so many tourists insist on showing they are savy by never tipping, but the majority of Germans give a small tip, usually by rounding up the check to the next whole Euro or adding a few more to it for parties larger than 1 (Splitting the check is the norm in Germany, which makes it convenient to dine with friends). While paying your waitress just tell her how much the bill should be with the tip included, and she’ll give you the rest as change, and you don’t have to worry about leaving it on the table.

Bottom line on tipping in Germany, if the service was terrible, don’t tip anything. If the service was good, show some appreciation, you just don’t need to throw down 20%, because you’ll make an awkward situation where the waitress thinks you don’t know what you’re doing.

deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden