There is a major cultural difference between Americans and Germans, and that is in how we dine out. In America, we always need a distraction, we don’t just sit around and talk, there must be something else going on.
That’s why we love baseball, it gives us a backdrop to sit in the sun, drink a beer, and catch up. In baseball, every game has a minimum of 17 warm up periods, plus a “7-inning stretch”, so there is plenty of time to chat or insult the players. Americans complain that soccer is boring, but really the problem with soccer is that it doesn’t fit into our mold of a sport that gives us frequent breaks in the action for chances to talk.
Our collective national attention deficit disorder extends to dining out as well. We want to walk into the door, be greeted immediately, get shown to a table, get greeted by the waitress within 2 minutes, have drinks delivered within 5 minutes, and have the meal finished within 30 minutes. Within 3 minutes of our last bite, we want to have the check payed for so we can move on to the next distraction. Our number one complaint at restaurants is that the check took too long. Americans have always just been lookin for freedom, and we absolutely hate the feeling of being held hostage by a waitress not giving us the check.
Herein lies the source of all cultural misunderstandings at restaurants between our two proud nations.
Germans want to get the check only after they have asked for it, because they view it as pushy by the waitress to throw the check on the table, as if to say “get out of here, now”. In America, it is a given that we want to get out of there right now.
Germans usually want to sit and have a few more drinks and chat a while before going home, because dinner and socializing are enough for Europeans. If Americans want to have a few more drinks and chat, we have to go somewhere with either TV’s on all the walls, pool tables, or some kind of video game to keep us distracted.
So if you are dining out in Germany, here are the rules to not be completely annoyed by a lack of service.
- Go look for a table yourself, no one is going to greet you and show you to a table.
- If there are none available, move on to the next restaurant, because the people aren’t leaving anytime soon (if you are in Bavaria its ok to just join someone else’s table if there is space. You can just ignore them like other people sitting across from you on the subway, or throw in some small talk, if you want).
- If you don’t know what you want, order Wiener Schnitzel, you will never go wrong. Put some mayonnaise on your fries, its actually really good to dip fatty potatoes into a fatty sauce.
- When you want something, such as the check, its your job to grab the waitress’ attention.
Germans have the legitimate complaint about American wait staff, that they constantly pester you and interrupt your discussions to ask you 47 times if everybody’s doing ok over here.
Our complaints for Germany is that they don’t often make themselves available to ask for the check, and just assume that you don’t have any other plans for the night, so speed couldn’t possibly be an issue.
If your order wasn’t what you were expecting because of some kind of miscommunication or mix up, your waitress in Germany will always matter-of-factly explain to you that that is what you ordered, and that is what you are getting.
But the thing that is very strange is that the German waitress first ask you after you have finished your entire meal if it tasted good. That way its too late to do anything to fix it, which we expect American restaurants to do for us, if we aren’t satisfied. (One hint for the Germans, if you complain enough at a restaurant, you will get free stuff in America).
Last tip for Americans, if you want to avoid spending a lot of time dining out, because you want to do other things, ask a local kid where the best Döner Kebab in town is. It’s kind of a Germanized Turkish treat similar to a Gyro, that will be served up quick, is fairly healthy for fast food, and really beats going to the Embassy. Memorize this phrase to order: “Einmal Döner normalfleisch mit ohne Zwiebel scharf, bidde,” and enjoy the food that Germans miss the most when they are abroad.
And one last helpful tip for any Germans that want to take advantage of free refills in America: you won’t get any more as soon as you pay your bill. In America, that super friendly waitress will cease to acknowledge your existence the instant you have settled up.
deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden
Du, Astrid,
hier die Übersetzung
Amerikaner denken, deutscher Service sei schlechter als er eigentlich ist
Es gibt einen bedeutenden kulturellen Unterschied zwischen Amerikanern und Deutschen, und das ist, wie wir auswärts essen. In Amerika brauchen wir immer eine Ablenkung, wir sitzen nicht einfach herum und reden, es muss irgendetwas anderes passieren.
Deshalb lieben wir Baseball, es ist ein guter Hintergrund um in der Sonne zu sitzen, ein Bier zu trinken und Neuigkeiten auszutauschen. Beim Baseball hat jedes Spiel mindestens 17 Aufwärmphasen und ein “7-inning stretch”, man hat also genug Zeit um sich zu unterhalten oder die Spieler zu beschimpfen. Amerikaner beschweren sich, dass Fussball langweilig ist, aber das eigentliche Problem ist, dass es nicht unsere Art von Sport entspricht, der uns häufige Pausen zum Unterhalten gibt.
Unsere gemeinsame nationale Aufmerksamkeitsstörung beeinflusst auch unser Auswärtsessverhalten. Wir möchten ins Restaurant kommen, sofort an der Tür begrüsst werden, einen Tisch zugewiesen bekommen, innerhalb von 2 Minuten von der Kellnerin begrüsst werden, unsere Getränke innerhalb von 5 Minuten an den Tisch bekommen und das Essen in 30 Minuten verzehrt haben. Spätestens 3 Minuten nach unserem letzten Bissen wollen wir die Rechnung bezahlt haben, damit wir zu der nächsten Ablenkung weiterkönnen. Unsere häufigste Beschwerde ist, dass die Rechnung zu lange gedauert hat. Amerikaner haben schon immer nur nach Freiheit gesucht, und wir fühlen uns als Geisel der Kellnerin, wenn sie uns nicht die Rechnung bringt.
Hierin liegt die Quelle für alle kulturellen Differenzen in Restaurants zwischen unseren beiden stolzen Nationen.
Die Deutschen möchten die Rechnung erst dann haben, wenn sie darum gebeten haben, weil sie es als Rausschmiss der Kellnerin verstehen, wenn diese die Rechnung einfach auf den Tisch wirft, als ob sie sagen wollte “Gehen Sie, jetzt!”. In Amerika ist es eine Tatsache, dass wir gehen wollen, gleich jetzt.
Deutsche wollen meist noch ein paar Getränke lang sitzen bleiben und sich unterhalten, bevor sie nach Hause gehen, weil Abendessen und Kontakte knüpfen genug ist für Europäer. Wenn Amerikaner noch ein bisschen was trinken und sich unterhalten wollen, müssen wir irgendwo hingehen, wo Fernseher an den Wänden hängen, es Billardtische oder irgendein Videospiel gibt, um uns abzulenken.
Wenn Sie also in Deustchland essen gehen, beachten Sie folgende Regeln, damit Sie vom fehlenden Service nicht völlig entnervt sind:
1. Suchen Sie sich Ihren eigenen Tisch, niemand wird Sie begrüßen und platzieren.
2. Sollte es keine freien Tische mehr geben, gehen Sie weiter zum nächsten Restaurant, denn die Leute werden nicht so schnell gehen (wenn Sie in Bayern sind, können Sie sich ruhig an einem anderen Tisch mit dazu setzen, wenn noch Platz ist. Sie können die anderen Personen am Tisch einfach ignorieren, so, als wenn sie in der U-Bahn fahren würden oder Sie können eine kleine Unterhaltung führen, wenn Sie möchten).
3. Wenn Sie sich nicht entscheiden können, was sie essen wollenn, nehmen Sie Wiener Schnitzel, das ist nie verkehrt. Machen Sie Mayonnaise auf Ihre Pommes, es schmeckt tatsächlich sehr gut, fettige Kartoffeln in fettige Sauce zu tunken.
4. Wenn Sie etwas wollen, wie zum Beispiel die Rechnung, liegt es an Ihnen, die Aufmerksamkeit der Kellnerin zu erregen.
Deutsche haben die berechtigte Beschwerde über amerikanische Kellner, dass Sie einen ständig belästigen und die Unterhaltung unterbrechen, um Sie 47 mal zu fragen ob alles in Ordnung ist.
Unsere Beschwerde über deutsche Kellner ist, dass Sie nicht oft greifbar sind, um nach der Rechnung zu fragen, und offenbar davon ausgehen, dass Sie an dem Abend nichts anderes mehr vorhaben und Geschwindigkeit somit kein Thema ist.
Wenn Ihre Bestellung nicht dem entspricht, was Sie bestellt haben, auf Grund eines Missverständnisses oder einer Verwechslung, wird Ihre Kellnerin in Deutschland Ihnen erklären, dass dies ist, was sie bestellt haben, also ist es auch das, was Sie bekommen.
Aber die eine Sache, die wirklich merkwürdig ist, ist dass die deutsche Kellnerin Sie erst nach dem Essen fragen wird, ob es Ihnen geschmeckt hat. So ist es viel zu spät, noch etwas zu ändern, was wir von amerikanischen Restaurants erwarten, wenn wir nicht zufrieden sind (ein kleiner Tipp für die Deutschen: wenn Sie sich in einem Restaurant genug beschweren, bekommen Sie Zeug umsonst in Amerika).
Ein letzter Tipp für Amerikaner, wenn Sie vermeiden wollen, viel Zeit mit Essen gehen zu verbringen, fragen Sie einen einheimischen Jugendlichen, wo man das beste Döner Kebab der Stadt bekommt. Es ist eine eingedeutschte türkische Leckerei, dem Gyros recht ähnlich, das schnell serviert wird, relativ gesund ist für fast food und McDonald´s bei Weitem schlägt. Merken Sie sich diesen Satz für die Bestellung: “Einmal Döner normalfleisch mit ohne Zwiebel scharf, bidde,” und geniessen Sie das Essen, dass die deutschen im Ausland am meisten vermissen.
Und ein letzter hilfreicher Hinweis für jeden Deutschen, der das kostenfreie Nachfüllen von Getränken in Anspruch nehmen möchte: Sie bekommen nichts mehr, sobald Sie Ihre Rechnung bezahlt haben. In Amerika wird die superfreundliche Bedienung Ihre Existenz nicht mehr wahrnehmen, in der Sekunde, in der sie Ihre Schulden bezahlt haben.
Dir einen wundervollen Abend,
John
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May 16th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Hey John, great observations! And here’s another German quirk. We like to correct other people’s mistakes. Would you mind putting in apostrophies when needed? You tend to forget them.
May 16th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
I reread that entire article very slowly and didn’t notice any apostrophes missing. I don’t know the rule for its and it’s anymore, so I probably have botched that up a few times.
I am sure there a commas missing, though. But there are too many rules on that, and I will never get them straight.
If you let me know where they are missing, I’ll fix them.
May 16th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
and in Thuringia you should ask for a Bratwurst instead of a Döner
May 16th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Actually some of the american fast food companies are starting to give you free refills, I’ve seen them at McDonalds and Subways. Truly a welcome import.
May 16th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
haha,
kann ich nur bestätigen.
als wir in new york waren und gefrühstückt haben, haben sie uns direkt rausgeschmissen als wir fertig waren. dabei wollten wir doch noch gemütlich unseren tag planen
May 16th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
I’d prefer no-one really using the Doener-Phrase you mentioned.. better would be
“Ein Döner mit allem, scharf (spicy) / nicht scharf (not spicy)”
May 16th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
All the Döner guys I know treat ’scharf’ like a noun. You can choose between ‘mit Scharf’ and ‘ohne Scharf’ ;).
AFAIR, the Burger King in Bad Cannstatt used to have free refills. But as soon as the nearby McDonald’s (which also had free refills) closed, they went back to normal ;). But it looks like it’s becoming more and more common in Germany too.
And when the German waitress asks you “war’s recht?” don’t you dare say no! That would be rude…
What surprised me the most the first time I went out to eat in the US was the verbosity of the waitress. I hadn’t even sat down properly when she went: ‘Hi, my name is bla and I’ll be taking care of you tonight. The specials today are u, v, w, x, y and z. Would you like this and that…?” and so on :D.
May 16th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
“mit ohne” - ein echter inside joke.
May 16th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
@Luke: The two KFCs near the Neckar give your free refills, and I think some of the Subways do too.
May 16th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
IKEA have free refills
May 16th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
öhm.. has natürlich…
May 16th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
@ all native Germans: while in the US, it’s ok to order your drink w/o ice. However, if you are in the south, your waiter might give you an odd stare.
May 16th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
I like the most recent postings. I was dissappointed by some older ones for bias and general broad statements. I am glad I kept reading. Good job lately. Keep it up!
May 16th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Interesting views, but… I lived in the South and used to order my drinks all the time without ice. Nobody looked at me funny. Also, some German waiters are starting to pick up the annoying habit of stopping by every 5 minutes. At least here in Bavaria. Really unnecessary! (one more thing its=possessive, it’s=it is)
Cheers!
May 16th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Most restaurant around here (Munich) actually have waiters waiting for you to show you a free place.
Free refills are becoming more common around here too, every major McDonald’s I know has it now, makes sticking around and chatting all more enjoyable
May 16th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
I just enjoyed free refills in the McDonald’s at Berlin HBf. More infantile Germans than myself do try to max it out whenever they spot fast food restaurants that allow for free refills. (As far as I know it’s really only those and IKEA in Germany that have free refills.) Refilling 20 times to not get all dehydrated from that really salty Cheeseburger with the small fries is not uncommon. I sort of think that some Germans might be unable to cope with free refills. Some might drink until they explode or throw up or whatever.
Another thing I want to add to that whole waiter thing: service is (in West Germany at least
not bad at all if you keep in mind that it’s your job to start the dialog with the waitress. If it’s not good or if there has been a mixup just tell the waitress, she won’t ask you. Just be honest and you will get your free stuff, too. You can complain, and I don’t recall any waitress becoming impolite. So: Communicate any problems you have, but it’s your job to get the communication started.
The waitress’s question in the end on the other hand (”Was everything alright?”) has really no function. Never say anything bad, (Remember, if there really was something wrong you should have said that before.) but you can give grades: good, very good and excellent plus your level of enthusiasm can signal something (arguably not much), but everything else (less) would be just plain rude.
May 16th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
the cliché of being able to sit at any table with people already occupying it, is far from being true. in 80% of the cases the conversation there will stop and you’ll get some stupefied stares. if you really wanna try this, at least ask beforehand if the seats are taken and if it’d be ok to join. and wienerschnitzel is not nearly as common on german menus as it used to be.
May 17th, 2008 at 5:45 am
Oh, it really depends on the kind of restaurants you’re in. If there are tablecloths, don’t ever presume to sit down at another person’s table. Scrubbed oak tables, on the other hand, with those beer mugs to hold the cutlery, are an invitation to squeeze as many people in as possible.
There are a few places left where you can actually bring your own food, even inside! Go to Andechs Brewery, for instance, bring a large basket of food (and your own plates etc, of course), buy some beer from the Schwemme and then plunk down to the people with the best selection of delicacies. You’ll inevitably end up swapping food and having a great time.
May 18th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
> Einmal Döner normalfleisch
Is that supposed to be funny? If not, it’s simply wrong, because it implies that you have a choice between different kinds of meat - which you don’t. See also http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%B6ner
May 18th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Umm… did you use the words “Doner” and “healthy” in the same sentence????
?
Guess you never ate one?
Check this out, there’s apparently about a wine-glass of saturated oil per Doner! “Nutritionists said eating two a week could cause a heart attack within 10 years.”: http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/wellbeing/story/0,,2280020,00.html
Which explains why doner is so good after a night of alcoholism I guess! But really not recommendable in any other state of mind, especially given that Germany is full of brilliant, tasty, and healthy foods!
May 18th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
@Jochen:
have you ever ordered a Döner?
around here, they are always differentiated between “normal” and “chicken” [and some less common vegetarian forms]
but usually you don’t order a Döner in one sentence, typically it’s a question-answer-game:
[Scene: the Döner shop from the next corner [there are generally more Döner shops per city than McDonalds and Burger King combined]
people present:
- Kunde: you wanting a Döner
- Verkäufer: turkish looking dude behind the Theke
- several Statisten blocking the way between you and the Theke, so that you have to wait a while for your turn]
[when the queue of Statisten gets down to one or two persons in front of you]
Verkäufer: Und Sie bitte?
Kunde: Ein[en] Döner bitte.
[here the bread is prepared, the person before you is served now]
Verkäufer: Normal oder Chicken?
Kunde: Normal [or Chicken, if you prefer that]
[here the meat is prepared]
Verkäufer: komplett?
Kunde: ja, komplett. [or insert sauces or vegetables that you want to leave out. e.g. “ohne Knoblauch”]
[now the vegetables and sauces are put in]
Verkäufer: zum mitnehmen?
Kunde: nein, gleich essen.
[occasionally that section is left out, with the Verkäufer starting to pack the Döner in Alufolie, which you then have to shout at, that you don’t want it packed]
May 19th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
The typical order in Berlin, Kreuzberg is “Einmal Döner komplett, mit [Knoblauch/Kräuter/Scharf]”
May 19th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Hey John,
Since no one has already told you the difference between it’s and its you will be told by a German student who learned it when he started learning English back in Grade 5:
it’s = short form form it is
its = possessive pronoun for ‘it’ (like him for he and her for she)
Alright then? My host father in Canada always complained that his students at university always mixed that up, but as a German I think it makes pretty much sense and have noo idea what the difficulty is. On the other hand, many people in Canada and the US told me English was the hardest language in the world, even when they spoke German very well, while I, as a German, think it’s the easiest language in the world since it has hardly flections or irregularities to confuse one. But that’s also the reason I found English quite boring after a while in Canada and started to talk French to myself after 2-3 months.
Btw, I find your blog quite interesting because it shows thinks about Germany from a different perspective which actually makes sense knowing the American way of thinking. It just doesn’t make sense for us, like the convenience thingy.
May 20th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Hey Henrik,
You probably don’t mind if sombody who started learning English in 7th Grade tells you that neither “him” nor “her” are possessive pronouns. The better choice would have been “his” and “hers”… but, nothing for ungood…
May 21st, 2008 at 9:37 am
@Jochen
Dönerbuden in Berlin usually have several kind of meat to chose from:
Döner 1,50 Euro
Chicken-Döner 1,90 Euro
Kinder-Döner 1,00 Euro
May 21st, 2008 at 11:01 am
Of course I don’t mind, 7thGrader and naturally you’re absolutely right. Actually before I wrote the post, I structured my thoughts and had it right then, but at the same time thought, I’d mix it it up lateron anyway. That’s what I did.
Wow, Müngi, our Döner is much more expensive. But, on the other hand, we probably don’t hhave as many Dönerbuden as in Berlin…
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:28 am
@Müngi:
Please tell me where this Döner place is, I live in Berlin and it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a Döner for less than 2€… which is still quite cheap compared to other parts of Germany of course.
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:42 am
It should be available in Kiezes in Kreuzberg, Neukölln, Wedding or Tempelhof. If youre lucky - or bold enough - you can even find openign bargains for less than 1 Euro.
But my point was neither promotion nor price comparison. OK, next time I will try harder to hit its payoff.
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:39 pm
@müngi & gabi:
wow! even 2€ is next to nothing compared to what they cost in hamburg. they are more like at least 4€ around here.
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:43 pm
I never paid less than 3€ for a Döner purely out of fear all the news shows put into me by always showing Dönerbuden while talking about Gammelfleisch. Probably completely unfair, but it certainly had an effect on me!
May 22nd, 2008 at 7:18 pm
this was a really good and well reflected article about an often occuring intercultural misunderstanding!!!
here’s a little piece of advice for americans desperate to pay after their meal and to leave (because you might want to go see a movie somewhere soon). Just get up and pretend you’re leaving. the waitress will come RIGHT AWAY.
May 28th, 2008 at 4:13 am
I’m a German abroad, and the food I really miss most is a Doener
July 24th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
wrt check - you don’t need to wait for the waitress, you can pay your bill at the cash desk when you’re leaving.
Btw. you can get your Döner without meat. That’s just a Gemüsedöner or a Falafeldöner.
@Müngi:
Didn’t know children’s meat is so cheap in Berlin.
July 30th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Sorry, but your first tenet
“Go look for a table yourself, no one is going to greet you and show you to a table.”
is not generelly true. Most waiters and waitresses will greet you, aks for teh size of your party and then show you to a table (or give you a choice of tables). At least in the restaurants I usually visit.
The rest is very true, though
September 20th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
chirstina: “mit ohne” that is funny. It means with without
nitpicker: your right!
most of the information is good. but if there is somthing wrong with your food, you can always say somthing! and if you complain enough im sure you can also get a free meal!
September 25th, 2008 at 9:32 am
There is also something to be said about not being assigned a table but picking the one you like best. I make sure I let the hostess know where I would like to sit if it’s not good. though I must admit I am usually given one of the better tables. Must be in my strict looking eyes.
November 10th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
“einmal Döner normalfleisch mit ohne Zwiebel scharf, bidde,”
Haha, genauso macht man das! MIT Ohne Zwiebel!
And there are of course different types of meat available, like chicken.
Sehr amüsanter Blog!
Gruß aus Berlin
Anna
December 6th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
of course “mit ohne ” is totally correct…
but it’s not “mit allem” or “komplett” where i come from, its’ “mit alles” (it HAS to be grammatically wrong or you won’t et served)
December 9th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Bei uns heisst es auch: Doener mit Alles und Scharf
December 17th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
This post is so true!
I don’t understand all these anal-retentives picking about small stuff (its, it’s… who cares!)
I say: weiter so!
February 19th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
You’re sooo right concerning the Döner (Kebab)…
…
It’s even worse as Döner in the south-west of Germany (e.g. Mannheim) does not taste as delicious as in the north-east of Germany (e.g. Berlin)
June 9th, 2009 at 8:37 am
Where I live (Köln) things are even worse. Not only you have to call the waiter for the check (which is normal) but also it is common in most locations to get up to pay and go to the waiter yourself! I’m living here for more than two years now and still find this irritating (though you get used to it).
October 11th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
I am often visiting the USA the water tastes terrible because it is chlorinated.
restrooms are a mess! dirty and unhygienic.
Streets ar in a missrable conditions and technically dated.
America uses mostly telefon-poles. In Germany the internet and telecommunication is provided through fiber-optic cabls.
Internet is expensive in US.
With supply of service you cant creat a value.
positiv is customer care and it´s service if i shop with zappos.com
November 27th, 2009 at 3:36 am
Einmal Döner mit alles und scharf.
Mit Zwiebeln 