Germans will often ask you how you like living in their country, and what you miss about America the most. You will always let them know how much you enjoy so many different aspects of Germany, but that you really miss the convenience of living in America. Germans won’t quite get it, because they don’t seem to understand the depths of their own hatred of convenience.
Another fine example of something we take for granted in America is that the gas pump itself will accept credit or debit card payments. In Germany, on the hand, you always have to fill up the tank, then walk inside to pay, realize you don’t know the pump number, walk back out to the car to read the pump number, then walk back in to pay, wait in line, pay $150 for the 12 gallons, and walk back out to your car.
- Average footsteps per tank of gas wasted: 43.
- Average time per tank of gas wasted: 3 minutes.
With 20 million cars on the road that fill up once a month, Germans waste 720 million minutes a year, and are forced to walk an additional 10 billion steps ever single year, purely as a result of their hatred of convenience.
Germany, that is 6,857,142 soccer games including half time collectively wasted in Germany each year because you hate to have life the easy way.
Of course, you are probably buying cigarettes, too, so its a moot point.
deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden
Mahlzeit Astrid,
hier die Übersetzung:
Versuch’s mal mit Bequemlichkeit
Die Deutschen werden Sie recht häufig fragen, wie Ihnen das Leben in ihrem Land gefällt und was Sie am meisten an Amerika vermissen. Sie werden sie immer wissen lassen, wie sehr Sie die vielen verschiedenen Aspekte von Deutschland geniessen, aber dass Ihnen wirklich die amerikanische Bequemlichkeit fehlt. Deutsche verstehen dies meist nicht, da sie die Tiefe Ihrer eigenen Verachtung für Bequemlichkeit nicht zu verstehen scheinen.
Ein anderes schönes Beispiel für etwas, das wir in Amerika als selbstverständlich hinnehmen, ist, dass beim Tanken an der Zapfsäule selbst auch mit Kredit- oder Debitkarte bezahlt werden kann. In Deutschland dagegen müssen Sie den Tank voll machen, rein gehen zum Bezahlen, feststellen, dass Sie die Zapfsäulennummer nicht kennen, zurück zum Auto laufen, um diese zu erfahren, wieder rein gehen zum Bezahlen, in der Schlange warten, dann $150 für die 12 Gallonen bezahlen und zurück zum Auto laufen.
- Durchschnittliche Anzahl von verschwendeten Schritten pro vollem Tank: 43.
- Durchschnittliche verschwendete Zeit pro vollem Tank: 3 Minuten.
Mit 20 Millionen Autos auf der Straße, die einmal im Monat ihren Tank füllen, verschwenden die Deutschen 720 Millionen Minuten pro Jahr, und sind dazu gezwungen, zusätzliche 10 Milliarden Schritte extra zu gehen, in jedem einzelnen Jahr, als Ergebnis Ihres Hasses auf Bequemlichkeit.
Deutschland, das sind 6.857.142 Fussballspiele inklusive der Halbzeit, die jedes Jahr kollektiv verschwendet werden, nur weil Sie ein leichtes Leben hassen.
Natürlich kaufen Sie dabei auch Zigaretten, von daher ist es Wurst.
Guten Appetit,
John
This entry was posted
on Sunday, May 18th, 2008 at 11:32 pm and is filed under Uncategorized.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
May 19th, 2008 at 12:23 am
I’ll tell you how to avoid that: While you are filling up the tank, just take a look at the pump number. That way you will waste 0 seconds.
May 19th, 2008 at 12:28 am
I don’t know what profit margins for gas stations are in the US, but in germany, it’s around 2% for petrol if i’m not mistaken - that’s about the same credit card companies charge as fees. Profit = 0, so they have to make people enter the gas-station and while they’re there, they can do some small convenience-shopping that actually generates some profit, so it would be downright stupid for gas-stations to let people pay right at the pump with their cards.
The only way to bypass this would be by charging a 50-cents-fee for card-payments at the terminals, which most germans would simply not consider an option and still walk in!
May 19th, 2008 at 12:40 am
No, no, no, you have it all backwards.
Why do you always assume that convenience is a good thing?
May 19th, 2008 at 1:19 am
Yea! I’m with Micheal! And on a related note, why do you always assume that humor is a good thing?
May 19th, 2008 at 1:25 am
BUT: In USA there are also stations with even LESS convenience.
1.) Try to use the machine at the pump
2.) Find out it’s out of order
3.) Walk in and deposit the CC, what means: Give it to somebody who you don’t know and you aren’t able to pay attention what he’s doing with your card!
Or: Walk in and make an authorization of 60$ with your CC.
4.) Walk out again and full your car up
5.) Walk in again to pay
=> You HAVE to walk in twice - not only if YOU forgot to remember the pump number…
Best wishes
Matze
P.S.: I have NEVER had to walk out for looking for the right number of my pump. If you tell the cashier “it’s the yellow mazda/red toyota/ white mercedes”, he will easily be able to find your pump number by looking in his video camera… these guys usually know their gas station.
P.S.2. Frist comment by me, but even if I write “Pro-German” this time, I REALLY like your blog at all…
May 19th, 2008 at 4:17 am
10 billion steps more = 10.000 billion burnt calories = -20% heart attacks
May 19th, 2008 at 9:21 am
I like to walk inside the gas station, because i like the smell of gas, floating all around. I always get into a good mood, don’t know why that is actually. Interestingly this feeling was even better till mid 90s….something changed….
May 19th, 2008 at 9:43 am
There are a lot of gas stations where you can pay with Maestro Card, at least here where I live. I really like it, but maybe I`m not the typical German
May 19th, 2008 at 10:55 am
Hey, you´re right… But contact to a real responding person is somehow more important to me than saving 2 minutes dealing just with the card-reader at the gas pump. Just having the good feeling that someone is near if there´s a problem.
…maybe a matter of tradition/beeing conservative
May 19th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Wow, now I know how much time I gain by not having a car
May 19th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Nice entry. Every time I’ll see a, uhm, “well-rounded” American in the future, I’ll be thinking: For heaven’s sake you should better walk 43 wasted footsteps each time you fill the tank of your gas absorbing SUV.
May 19th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
I just found this blog… great work so far!
Now, on the topic… as we jokingly say in Germany: Jeder Gang macht schlank - every walk makes you slim.
I have experienced American-style “convenience” first-hand. You can really get used to it. On the other hand, even provided with that kind of convenience, I think most Germans would still prefer to bag their groceries themselves at the supermarket checkout, pump their own gas AND remember their pump number on the 50-foot walk to the Tankstellenhäuschen.
Why? Old habits die hard, and you won’t hear the average German complain about poor service just because they have to do a bare minimum of legwork or thinking on their own in order to get service in the first place.
As for the pump - why not try remembering the pump number when you first put the nozzle back? Is it really so hard to remember a single-digit number for three minutes?
Nor do I think a supermarket has to support my laziness by having some pimply high school kid bag my groceries. In fact, I really don’t WANT anybody to mess with my groceries in any way, shape or form as soon as I have paid for them and they’re mine.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Are there actually americans who read this Blog, or just germans who want to know what (an) american(s) think(s) about them.
Anyway, very entertaining.
Cheers Joris
May 20th, 2008 at 10:01 am
have you seen this article on spiegel.de? Only the germans…
http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,553186,00.html
May 20th, 2008 at 11:38 am
I knew that being “scheißfreundlich” can’t be good for you ;).
May 20th, 2008 at 11:40 am
@ Joris
looking at the responses of the last 2 weeks I’m too getting the impression that (guessed) roundabout 4 americans are reading this blog, compared to 135 germans . But maybe I`m mistaken and there are all “silent” readers! (Or germans just can’t stop correcting everbody else over and over again)
May 20th, 2008 at 11:43 am
You’re wrong. It’s pretty convenient. That way I always got some ice cream when I was a kid. Conveniently most of the time the ice cream freezer is just next to where the waiting line forms. So ice cream at one side, child waiting in the car and staring longinly out of the window on the other… VERY convenient.
May 20th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Mhh…ice cream. A local gas station gives out free soft ice cream for you and your passengers if you fuel your car.
May 20th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
rossi and Sporty’s comments are classic, basically boiling down to, “yeah, well Americans are fat”. As if the Germans have decided that they want to walk from their car into the convenience store every time so they don’t end up like all the fat ugly Americans. Just found this blog, what I’ve seen so far I can only back up!
May 21st, 2008 at 1:27 am
This American loves paying at the pump and never goes inside the store, but takes several flight of stairs several times a day at work to make up the steps. John, I think you are very funny. Take me to Germany with you next time you go.
May 22nd, 2008 at 5:54 am
Since it is no effort to walk a few steps, there is no need to avoid it. Even crazier, I am walking about 2 miles per day- with a bus station in front of my door.
May 22nd, 2008 at 7:13 pm
hmm i love american convenience. I think it’s pretty cool you can always find a place to buy food also when it’s after 8 o’clock or sunday.
the wierdest thing i ever saw was a drive-trough-bank were you put the money you wanted to pay in under some kind of tube and it was just sucked up and into the bank
i gotta say though, i’ve only been to texas by now. and many texans would be better off walking some additional steps to get there taco bell and whatta burger kilos off
May 25th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
May God bless you all.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:42 am
It’s a plot by the gas stations, so they can lure you into bying beer, chips and Brötchen.
July 5th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
I’m American- and I love this blog!!
September 20th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
that text is stupid.
June 10th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
That’s our way to do our exercise!!!
June 19th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
tanking is much more easier in Germany, c’mon!
November 27th, 2009 at 3:40 am
Jeder Gang macht schlank