100% of Germans go nuts over asparagus.
The Germans have a special season from the end of April to the end of June where they eat asparagus at every possible opportunity. Although it doesn’t really taste good, the Germans eat this white flavorless stuff loaded with hollandaise or butter sauce along with potatoes (the Germans eat everything with potatoes, of course) and schnitzel or bacon, or if they are really feeling fancy, then maybe with some salmon. If you work in Germany during asparagus season, you will be the only one eating something else in the cafeteria. A legitimate response to not wanting to eat this Spargel is that you prefer to eat some form of pig with every meal, as Germans would normally do in any other time of the year.
Pretty much the only time Germans have all you can eat specials is during Spargel-Season. Here Germans team up to stuff themselves with all the asparagus they can eat for about $15. This of course would never work in America, where we can get all you can eat Chinese food for about $6, which actually tastes good, and even better doesn’t make you almost pass out afterwards when you go to pee.
German asparagus is different than American asparagus, but growing this white variety is back breaking labor. Some smart German politician decided to start a program for unemployed Germans to have the chance to work in the fields harvesting, but no Germans ever showed up for a second day of work, so that task is left to the eastern Europeans. I guess these Hartz IV welfare recipients would rather sit around eating asparagus than be bothered with plucking it.
Unfortunately America’s most trusted news source among 18 to 45 year-olds, The Daily Show, didn’t realize that German asparagus is different to the asparagus we eat. In this clip, you can see that Bush took another trip to Europe to grope Angela Merkel and lie about liking German asparagus.
If you listen carefully there is exactly one audience member that really likes
Spargel. Must have been a German tourist.
deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden
Mahlzeit Astrid,
hier die Übersetzung:
Spargel Spitze
100% aller Deutschen sind verrückt nach Spargel.
Die Deutschen haben eine spezielle Saison von Ende April bis Ende Juni, in der sie bei jeder Gelegenheit Spargel essen.
Auch wenn es nicht wirklich gut schmeckt, essen die Deutschen dieses weiße geschmacksneutrale Zeug überhäuft mit Sauce Hollandaise oder Buttersauce zusammen mit Kartoffeln (Deutsche essen natürlich alles mit Kartoffeln) und Schnitzel oder Schinken, oder wenn Sie besonders originell sein wollen, vielleicht mit ein wenig Lachs. Wenn Sie während der Spargelsaison in Deutschland arbeiten, werden Sie der einzige in der Kantine sein, der etwas anderes isst. Eine legitime Antwort auf die Frage, warum Sie diesen Spargel nicht essen möchten, ist, dass der Hauptteil Ihrer Mahlzeit aus Schwein bestehen sollte, was für die Deutschen normalerweise zu jeder anderen Zeit im Jahr auch zutreffen würde.
Die so ziemlich einzige Zeit, in der Deutsche all-you-can-eat-Angebote haben, ist während der Spargelsaison. Hier tun sie sich zusammen, um sich mit soviel Spargel wie möglich vollzustopfen für ungefähr $15. Das würde in Amerika nie funktionieren, weil wir all-you-can-eat-Buffets beim Chinesen für $6 essen können, was gut schmeckt und Sie zusätzlich nicht ohnmächtig werden lässt, wenn Sie hinterher pinkeln gehen.
Deutscher Spargel unterscheidet sich von amerikanischem Spargel, aber diese weiße Sorte anzubauen ist Arbeit, die den Rücken ruiniert. Ein schlauer deutscher Politiker hat sich ein Programm überlegt, in dem arbeitslose Deutsche eine Chance zum Arbeiten bekommen, indem sie auf den Feldern den Spargel ernten, aber kein Deutscher ist am zweiten Tag wieder gekommen und so wird diese Aufgabe jetzt den Osteuropäern überlassen. Wahrscheinlich sitzen die Hartz IV Empfänger lieber herum und essen den Spargel, anstatt ihn selbst pflücken zu müssen.
Bedauerlicherweise hat Amerikas meist vertraute Nachrichtenquelle für Menschen zwischen 18 und 45 Jahren, die Daily Show, nicht realisiert, dass deutscher Spargel sich von dem unterscheidet, den wir essen. In diesem Clip können Sie sehen, dass Bush mal wieder nach Deutschland gereist ist um Angela Merkel zu betatschen und darüber zu lügen, dass er deutschen Spargel mag.
Siehe Anhang 1!
Wenn Sie genau hinhören merken Sie, dass es genau einen Zuschauer im Publikum gibt, der Spargel tatsächlich mag. Muss ein deutscher Tourist gewesen sein.
Ohnmächtige Grüße,
John
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June 14th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
hi i am german and i dont like asparagus too.
And there is no difference between American und German asparagus (i think i like this word lol ) you can get green and white asparagus, but here we just eat more the white one.
June 14th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Asparagus only is flavourless if not fresh. If eaten hours (a day at most) after being plucked, it really is delicious.
June 14th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
I totally agree - white asparagus is nothing worth to celebrate. But the green one can be delicious!
June 14th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
Btw, being able to smell asparagus in urine is a genetically determined trait. Most people can’t smell it, I have no idea how it smells and am rather happy for not having to find out.
So feel chosen.
June 14th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Daniel, in a word: bad. really really bad.
June 14th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Spargel sucks.
A German.
June 14th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
I don’t like Spargel. äääääx!
June 15th, 2008 at 8:18 am
Love the green asparagus (and I like this word, too), can’t have enough of it and I wish it would be more affordable. Yes, you left out this little detail: fresh Spargel of good quality is fraking expensive!
And the only issue I have with asparagus: it makes me go to the rest room more often than a luke-warm beer or three cups of coffee. This stuff must consist only of water
June 15th, 2008 at 8:48 am
Green asparagus is for people who don’t have taste :-P. White asparagus is delicious, but only, as has been pointed out already, when extremely fresh. That rules out all the cheap stuff from Greece etc. since it’s too old already when arriving here.
June 15th, 2008 at 9:18 am
der Tutschengraben!
June 15th, 2008 at 9:54 am
in english the word “asparagus” is too complicated^^
Do I only eat it once or twice in the season.
“Spargel” sounds way more nicely (my oppinion).
And yep, when it’s fresh, i could eat it as lunch and dinner … the problem is, that the good stuff is not too cheap and my wife doesn’t like it
June 15th, 2008 at 10:45 am
I’m another German who don’t likes asparagus. But, in an hour, the rest of my family will eat asparagus with me … oh thats unfair
But there are other times an restaurants with “all you can eat” here around, it’s not as familar as in America and more expensive.
For example theres sometimes “Schnitzelessen” or “Grünkohl” for around 15EUR here nearby.
June 15th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Spargel kann man einmal im Jahr essen, dann ist aber auch gut, ist jetzt nicht so der bringer
June 15th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
loved the videoclip
June 15th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
gleich gibts spargel….
und ich versteh auch nicht wie man ihn mögen kann - bahhh
June 15th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Mjam, mjam, lecker lecker, Spargel!
Although admittedly, you can have bad luck and your asparagus is to fibred and bitter.
(On a side note: The gag writers of this tv show should take a good look around this web page! Why? “Nothing for Ungood” is the living proof that you can make jokes about Germany without allusions to the Nazis in every second sentence! *rolls eyes*)
June 15th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
I can’t stand asparagus, I don’t like the green one (although I eat it in small amounts if I have to, just to be polite) but I feel nausea coming up when the white one is served. Especially when served as Spargelcremesuppe (which usually consists of the ones that wouldn’t make it on the plate as being too ugly or poor quality). That stuff is just rank!
June 15th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
I really don’t like this post. This picture at the top. I’m in France, haven’t been home to good old Germany for half a year and because of this picture I now have giant Schnitzel cravings, which can’t be satisfied here in France.
For the post, Spargel in an omelette is awesome.
Der HarzIV Kommentar war allerdings daneben.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:47 am
I still don’t get Spargel. I asked at work why there isn’t a special celebration for broccoli or carrot season, for example. They looked at me like I was from outer space and said that Spargel is the German equivalent of caviar. Then I looked at them like they were from outer space and called it even.
June 16th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
I hate asparagus, and you have never been in the north of germany in fall during Grünkohl season - that’s when you can get Grünkohl Satt at every friggen place (our version of AYCE). Needless to say that i hate Grünkohl as well.
June 16th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Dutcher: There is an asparagus season because you can harvest it only during a limited time and need to eat it extremely fresh (same or next day of harvest), as pointed out already. That rules out import asparagus. Broccoli can be grown in greenhouses more or less the whole year and import Broccoli is usually ok.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Mmmmmhhhh….asparagus.
Very good! Just had it last sunday with Schnitzel, potatoes and hollandaise sauce.
@Judas: you can only harvest Grünkohl after the first frost which is usually in december. So not fall is the Grünkohl season but winter! All the Kohlfahrten usually are in january or february, too.
I must know. I am from northern germany!
June 29th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
(On a side note: The gag writers of this tv show should take a good look around this web page! Why? “Nothing for Ungood” is the living proof that you can make jokes about Germany without allusions to the Nazis in every second sentence! *rolls eyes*)
You’re SO right. I’m really disappointed to see the American TV humour still is on such a low level… and the audience even laughes about it!! Wow.
And I don’t just refer to the German part, the jokes about Eastern Europe couldn’t force me to smile either.
Soo bad. Our jokes about America are mostly much more respectful.
But I love your blog
December 6th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
bush really deserves all the aspargus he had to eat for giving poor angels the tutschengraben :D… well maybe he just blows up some aspargus fields in return
(btw - the one guy in the audience… it’s not only that he likes aspargus - he’s actually shouting out loud “SPARGEL” … rofl…)