Germans will tell you that Americans don’t know how to make bread, but their tragic flaw is much worse; Germans don’t know how to make sandwiches.
Germans have over the years learned to eat hamburgers and will even franchise American hamburger chains to garner access to our precious burger recipes. And now Germany even features that most mediocre of fast food franchises, Subway, because Germans are desperately seeking to acquire the key knowledge required to create deli treats.
Since there is really no reason to withhold the essential elements from them, please feel free to share with your German friends the secrets of our sandwich success. It really only boils down to two main aspects:
- Sandwiches consist of a minimum of two layers of bread. While the norm is 2, a more daring club sandwich features 3 layers of bread. Germans often make their sandwiches with only one layer of bread. This is incorrect.
- Sandwiches are comprised of meat and cheese.While there are many notable exceptions to this rule, no sandwich has ever been made in Germany with meat and cheese at the same time. It’s almost as if Germans treat cheese as were it its own category of meat, worthy of a sandwich on its own. The only acceptable cheese-only sandwich is the grilled cheese sandwich, which doesn’t exist in Germany.
There is one thing Germans do well, which is to universally incorporate cucumbers into their sandwich attempts. That is about the only thing we have to learn from the Germans, aside from how to build cars.
deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden
Moin moin Astrid,
hier die Übersetzung,
Die Deutschen haben keine Ahnung von Sandwiches
Die Deutschen werden Ihnen erzählen, dass Amerikaner nicht wissen, wie man Brot macht, aber ihre Schwachstelle ist noch viel schlimmer; die Deutschen wissen nicht, wie man vernünftig Sandwiches macht. Sie haben mit den Jahren gelernt, Hamburger zu essen und konzessionieren sogar amerikanische Hamburger-Ketten, nur um Zugriff auf unsere wertvollen Hamburgerrezepte zu erhalten. Und nun bietet Deutschland sogar die mittelmässigste aller Fast-Food-Ketten an, Subway, weil die Deutschen verzweifelt versuchen, das entscheidende Fachwissen zu erlangen, das man braucht, um Feinkost zu kreieren.
Da es wirklich keinen Grund gibt, die essentiellen Elemente vor ihnen zu verheimlichen, fühlen Sie sich bitte frei, die Geheimnisse unserer Sandwich-Erfolge mit Ihren deutschen Freunden zu teilen. Es kommt wirklich nur auf zwei Hauptaspekte an:
- Sandwiches bestehen aus mindestens zwei Lagen Brot. Während die Norm 2 ist, enthält ein etwas gewagteres Club Sandwich sogar 3 Lagen Brot. Die Deutschen machen ihre Sandwiches oftmals mit nur einer Lage Brot. Das ist inkorrekt.
- Sandwiches bestehen aus Fleisch und Käse. Während es viele bemerkenswerte Ausnahmen dieser Regel gibt, wurde in Deutschland noch nie ein Sandwich mit Fleisch und Käse gleichzeitig gemacht. Es ist fast schon so, als ob die Deutschen Käse als eine eigene Fleischsorte behandeln, die ein eigenes Sandwich verdient hätte. Das einzig akzeptable nur-Käse-Sandwich ist das grilled cheese Sandwich, das in Deutschland nicht existiert.
Es gibt eine Sache, die die Deutschen gut machen, und das ist, allgemein Salatgurken in ihre Sandwichversuche einzubeziehen. Das ist so ziemlich die einzige Sache, die wir von den Deutschen lernen müssen, außer wie man Autos herstellt.
Viele Grüße,
dein Eiergroggi
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July 16th, 2008 at 4:27 am
This is because germans do not make sandwiches. They make a Butterbrot. This is something different.
July 16th, 2008 at 5:35 am
Actually, that’s wrong! We often eat meat and cheese at the same time! Well, ok, we don’t always have traditional American sandwiches we can see in the picture you postet but we have “Subway”
Have a nice day!
July 16th, 2008 at 7:37 am
Yes, that’s true, we eat Butterbrote, Wurstbrote and Käsebrötchen instead of sandwiches. But after seeing these delicious picture, i think i know what to eat tomorrow
July 16th, 2008 at 7:45 am
Actually, I believe that no sandwich should incorporate both meat and cheese. And, in direct contradiction of all Southerners, I also think no sandwich should include butter (perhaps a British trait brought to the South). Although the Brits, they make good sandwiches, so perhaps the Germans are fighting back by having such poor ones (with generally no condiments to relieve the dryness of the bread). And why do the Dutch have good sandwiches? You need only to cross the border and every Aral rest stop has good sandwiches on offer (with mustard on the side). We won’t go into the German belief that Miracle Whip is edible…
July 16th, 2008 at 7:52 am
Das sieht sicherlich lecker aus so ein Amerikanisches Sandwich! Aber ich finde eine leckere Butterbemme ist einem durchweichten Weichbrot vorzuziehen!
July 16th, 2008 at 8:00 am
Germans make good bread, Americans good sandwiches… but nobody has ever married both worlds.
Subway is nice. A lot of people in Germany would visit Subway more often, if they offer more bread(!) choices.
I like British sandwiches and German breakfast rolls with salami and cheese. Not to mention butter and jam
July 16th, 2008 at 8:06 am
I think your Picture is wrong.
It compares an American sandwich to a Schnittchen.
Thats propably a canapé and meant to be a type of finger food.
Different intention than with a sandwich.
That a fancy american sandwich clearly wins agains a German Butterbrot is so obvious that not even Germans would argue with that.
Mettbrötchen FTW!
July 16th, 2008 at 8:12 am
I think Helge Schneider put it best: “Butterbrot und Quark schmecken sicher gut; Doch ein richtiges Käsebrot geht direkt ins Blut.”
July 16th, 2008 at 8:51 am
A really good Butterbrot is hard to beat - I especially like a nice slice of fresh Pfisterbrot with tasty organic butter and lots and lots of chives.
I think the problem with sandwiches in Germany is that we don’t really do sandwiches. There’s Butterbrot and Schnittchen and belegte Semmel, which are all quite different things. It’s a bit like comparing American pancakes to crêpes, or Italian pasta to Spätzle - almost, but not quite the same, and therefore to be judged by entirely different standards.
I agree that Americans ought to be warned that there’s no such thing as a proper sandwich in Germany. But do you really want the whole world to be one standardized place?
July 16th, 2008 at 10:21 am
“Käsebrot, Kä-kä-käsebrot”!
July 16th, 2008 at 10:40 am
And again, you took a quick look at something thats new to you, and go strait on critizizing without even getting some more information…
As already mentioned, you are comparing 2 completely diffenent things, a Stulle/Bemme/Butterbrot oder “Belegtes Brötchen” just isn’t a sandwich. On the other hand, you can truely find your american sandwich here.
It’s like blaming a lasagne for beeing a wrong made sphagetti bolognese.
And what I hate the most of your articles: Whenever you see something new, its not “different from the US”, it’s just “Wrong!”. As if just US would have the right to define how to do things right.
Just accept that different people do things in a different way, without judging right or wrong, you superior Ami.
July 16th, 2008 at 10:52 am
@ Marv: you don´t laugh very often, do you?
That picture of the sandwich looks awesome, just needs some chips with it and a Miller light
And you are right about the cucumbers, too, they make a sandwich that much better!
July 16th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
And I alway thought American sandwiches incorporate sausages and chocolate chips. And of course a stick to satisfy convenience claims…
SCNR
July 16th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
marvs statement made me even laugh as much as the article because its SO german. HAHA
and yeah, bettina, that DOES sound good to me too!
July 16th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Bettina brought up a question that has been missing so far in the discussion. When I had my first American sandwhich it was really much better than anything I could get here in Germany (except for the bread of course). But what I never understood how you guys can eat chips with sandwhiches??????? If anyone could explain that to me. I just don’t get it. My stomache wants to shut down everytime I see a small chips package with a delicious sandwhich. I mean you torture your taste nerve-endings on your tounge by eating chips with sandwhiches.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
# Marv Says:
July 16th, 2008 at 10:40 am
And again, you took a quick look at something thats new to you, and go strait on critizizing without even getting some more information…
As already mentioned, you are comparing 2 completely diffenent things, a Stulle/Bemme/Butterbrot oder “Belegtes Brötchen” just isn’t a sandwich. On the other hand, you can truely find your american sandwich here.
It’s like blaming a lasagne for beeing a wrong made sphagetti bolognese.
And what I hate the most of your articles: Whenever you see something new, its not “different from the US”, it’s just “Wrong!”. As if just US would have the right to define how to do things right.
Just accept that different people do things in a different way, without judging right or wrong, you superior Ami.
and you don’t recognize humour even if it beats you with a stick , right?
@ kay: you eat the crisps AFTER the sandwich. at least that’s how it’s done in England.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
“Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother’s milk.” 2. Mose 34,26
We’re just staying true to our Judeo-Christian heritage, thank you very much. (Butter is a matter of interpretation, but cheese is clearly out if line!)
July 16th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Ugga ugga.
Me stupid German, living out of civilization in Bavaria. Me eat Kraut, Saussage, drink big beer and wear a Lederhosen. Ho, ho, ho…
Sorry, if thats the kind of humor you like…
July 16th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Na Marv, du gehst sicher zum Lachen in den Keller, nicht wahr?
(Aber erst, nachdem du 3 Türen hinter dir verschlossen hast…)
Vielleicht justierst du mal deinen Ironiedetektor, daran hapert es bei
dir nämlich ganz gehörig…und solltest du es immer noch nicht verstanden
haben:
Die Texte hier SIND MIT EINEM AUGENZWINKERN GESCHRIEBEN WORDEN!
You Twat!
July 16th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
“Sandwiches are comprised of meat and cheese.While there are many notable exceptions to this rule, no sandwich has ever been made in Germany with meat and cheese at the same time.”
Since nobody has mentioned it yet: Does nobody here know the classic Kochschinken-Gouda-Brötchen or the Gouda-Frikadellen-Ei-Baguette?
July 16th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
The best thing about Subway in Germany was the question:
“getoastet oder nicht getoastet?”
July 16th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
luvin marvs comment!!!! :))))
it’s the kinda response i get every time i make a sarcastic/tongue in cheek comment at work….
July 16th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Marv, warum liest du Johns Blog? Nur um dich in deinen Vorurteilen bestätigt zu sehen und dich wieder aufregen zu müssen ? Dieser Eindruck entsteht leider. Ich wünsche dir wirklich etwas mehr Locker- und Gelassenheit, etwas Distanz und eine Prise Sinn für Humor.
Ich persönlich finde Johns Sichtweisen interessant und amüsant; ich mag seinen Humor sowie seine Art zu schreiben sehr und freue mich schon auf mehr.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Marv… if you didn’t fulfill every stereotypical idea of German in your comments, I might take you seriously.
st00pid amerikans, zwe do not lyke dee amerikanssss
July 16th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
@leslie, simone, chrishan: Do not feed the troll!
I know what I am talking about as I frequently read the discussion forums at heise.de. You really have to grow a thick skin and maybe this blog needs a “Trollwiese”:
http://www.heise.de/extras/foren/S-Allgemein-Trollwiese/forum-44488/list/
July 16th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
I always loved the randomly placed slice of egg hidden somewhere deliciously inside my german sandwich. it sneaks up on you when you are least expecting it. but fear not, it’s always there.
July 16th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
when I was a child, I wasn’t allowed to put meat AND cheese on my butterbrot, you know, wir hatten ja nichts ;). So until now I feel a bit decadent when eating meat and cheese at the same time. But actually you’re right, as far as I remember this morning, there were only cheese-only and meat-only brötchen (proper translation for brötchen? filled roll?) at the cafeteria.
July 17th, 2008 at 12:25 am
Here comes the ugly truth:
There are two (and only two) categories where the US cousine is way ahead of it’s German counterpart:
1. Steaks
2. Sandwiches
But the fundamental weakness of the German Butterbrot and Belegtes Brötchen vs. US hightech multi-layer deli specials can be easily compensated by a clever selection of the accompanying beverage - as praised in this German classic:
Eisgekühlter Bommerlunder -
Bommerlunder eisgekühlt.
Eisgekühlter Bommerlunder -
Bommerlunder eisgekühlt.
Und dazu:
Ein belegtes Brot mit Schinken - Schinken!
Ein belegtes Brot mit Ei - Ei!
Das sind zwei belegte Brote,
eins mit Schinken uns eins mit Ei.
Und dazu:
Eisgekühlter Bommerlunder -
Bommerlunder eisgekühlt.
Eisgekühlter Bommerlunder -
Bommerlunder eisgekühlt.
Und dazu:
Ein belegtes Brot mit Schinken - Schinken!
Ein belegtes Brot mit Ei - Ei!
Das sind zwei belegte Brote,
eins mit Schinken uns eins mit Ei
July 17th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Cucumbers are the most disgusting things in the history of ever.
July 17th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Nothing for ungood, but actually this is something that I really don’t like about North American sandwiches: Permanently having both meat and cheese on there. Both tastes are too strong to be combined - is what I think. And maybe the reason is that we here have a bigger variety in cheeses and meat that are easily available: Whereas most is cheddar over there we actually have affordable Brie and loads of other cheeses. I remember that a Canadian was surprised when we got Wurst, sausage, at an expensive breakfast place; he thought that was quite bizarre as he thinks that was something for not so rich people to eat. So maybe the real difference is both the taste and the social standing of meat and cheese?
But I completely agree on one thing: More sandwich-like bread in Germany!
a more elaborate reply to be found at birtesblog.de by the way.
July 17th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Im going to un-lurk long enough to give my $.02
Lets be real here.. There are more sandwiches in america than just the ones with meat and cheese. Lets not forget barbecue.. One thing I have found with the germans I work with, is they LOVE barbecue. Put it on some bread, possibly with a slice of dill pickle.. Thats just GREAT. Then there are also tuna-salad, egg-salad and chicken-salad sandwiches.. just dont get the ones from the rest-stops or gas-stations and you’ll be ok.
As for meat and cheese.. Not all meats and cheeses clash with each other.. a nice mild provolone goes well with chicken or turkey..
And as for chips with sandwiches.. I discovered something as a little kid.. take your top layer of bread off sandwich.. apply chips directly to sandwich, put bread back on, press down till chips crunch, and eat..
Delicious.
July 17th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
I also support the notion that any sandwich can be made better with a layer of chips. It’s the crunch that adds that subtle difference to transform an ordinary lunch into an culinary extravaganza. Much like the genius of putting hash browns into a burrito. Brilliant!
July 17th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
The debate is a bogus in both ways. First, go to South Philly and try a Cheesesteak at Geno´s. In fact one from Pat`s will do it. With tears in your eyes you will never touch a Stulle again.
That said, try the ultimate treat at Katz´s in Lower East Side: One lb of the best, tenderly melting…yummy… Pastrami Sandwich. But nobody sane will have CHEESE on the roll.
July 18th, 2008 at 8:53 am
I’m so sorry but that’s so wrong, like many of your posts.
Examples:
“the grilled cheese sandwich, which doesn’t exist in Germany.” - ate them already here.
“Germans often make their sandwiches with only one layer of bread. This is incorrect.”
Sometimes, yes. But often is not correct - well not for my Region.
“no sandwich has ever been made in Germany with meat and cheese at the same time.”
Funny.
–> I don’t know where you got your “knowledge” from…
July 18th, 2008 at 10:04 am
Personally, I like to stick to ‘tradition’ and eat a sandwich for lunch, instead of these massive proportions that makes everyone in the office schlafy in the Nachmittags.
That is, utilizing my superior sandwich making abilities whilst simultaneously finding the most leckere frisches Brot available, I’m able to optimize both sides of the equation. Meaning, gasp, that I combine cheese, meat, and wegitables!
The result: I still get weird looks and singled out because I’m not eating a warm meal. Go figure.
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:51 am
OH come on,,, its true!
The german version of a sandwhich is not the same version as the USA.
Its not wrong, its just different. You should have seen me, when i was 19 and an Aupair in Germany. There I was cutting pretzels in half, putting butter on them and in the pausenboxes… it was so cool for me to learn how another culture has the same concept but its just different. I love eating all the food in germany i dont eat here in maui, usa. I love though my american sandwiches.
When i was aupairing, I introduced the deli sandwich to the German family. They loved it. Soon they had me making it for their dinner. Which is opposite of lunch.. I had the closest type of bread i could find in bayern. I got mustard and mayonnaise. This is the key ingredient to make it a US sandwhich. I showed them how to slice up tomatoes and use the aufschnitte for the sandwhiches. They preferred to have me prepare all the fixings and i put it on a platter. Then we all sat down together at the table and prepared our sandwiches together while chatting and talking. It was so much fun.
Then after a time I toasted sandwiches for them in the oven and made hot melted cheese and ham sandwiches. I must say, that teaching them the sandwich culture and how to make french toast was an accomplishment for a young person. They still made it even after I left them, and I taught all the kids how to make it themselves. So, yes, it was over 13 years ago, but i know somewhere out there are three college kids who probably go to subway and think of me…..
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:38 am
All this assumption that in the US we don’t know how to make bread! Bullshavaky! I know MANY places to get really good bread, in fact; bread I like much more than any bread I’ve had in Germany. In fact, there’s many more things and food I like in the US MUCH more than Germany. Much of the food in Germany is still laden with nitrates and nitrites, and even the labels are not required to say “how much of what.” Pork is well known to contain a lot of parasites, and is not a healthy food as well. Processing of food here in Germany seems to be way behind the times, same goes for organic food. And even if you find it, it doesn’t measure up to the quality of organic foods in the US. Stores are open longer and on Sunday in the US, customer service is by FAR friendlier and more extensive, government agencies are also friendly and cordial, all of which does not exist in Germany. On top of that, many faces of people in the street in Germany have sour expressions on their faces, scowls, frowns…and are rude in manners. Not everyone, true; but a majority.
My husband (who is German) is one of the minority nice people, along with his family. They do not fit the majority of rudeness…
Smoking policy is SO far behind the US….they don’t discourage it much, yet ENCOURAGE it, and act like they have the right to smoke in your face.
Children here are among the worst brats I’ve ever seen…catered to by parents who ignore bad screaming behavior in public..I hate to see how these children are going to grow up…terrorists? sociopaths?
I could go on and on and on…thankfully we are leaving soon, never to look back. My husband feels the same way about the country he grew up in. So homeward bound!!!
July 29th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
@Leaving Germany soon: Be prepared for a reversed “culture shock” the US changed a lot in the last few years!