Germans drive the wrong way

It is often said that you can learn a lot about a culture by the words their language contains. For example, Eskimos must live some place cold, because they have 42 words for snow. If you move to Germany you will often hear the word Geisterfahrer on the radio and think to yourself, “what the heck is a ghost rider?”, imagining your childhood spent with friends jumping off of bicycles in motion and seeing how far they could make it before falling over or crashing into the neighbor’s car. No, Germans don’t jump out of their moving vehicles, they drive the wrong way down the street, and they do it so often that they have a word for it.

This is especially peculiar because Germany is the last place you would expect people to drive so atrociously for the following reasons:

  1. You are not allowed to talk on your cell phone while driving. You are legally obliged to pay attention to what you are doing on German roads. Germans don’t even eat in their car; they don’t care about cup holders, the most important feature in an American car.
  2. There are major hoops to jump through to attain the right to drive in Germany. You have to take tests, pay thousands of dollars, spend hours and hours in driving school, and you still have ridiculous restrictions like not being allowed to drive a stick shift if your practical test was performed in a car with an automatic transmission.
  3. Old people have alternative ways to get around. In America, reaching the age where your abilities to drive safely means losing your independence because of the general lack of public transportation, therefore most elderly here never admit to reaching this point. In Germany the elderly can take the train.
  4. They mark every road with an arrow to designate exactly where you are supposed to drive. This system is idiot proof. You point your car where the little white arrow points.
Drive here
Despite having absolutely no reason for distracted or confused drivers, you will encounter a Geisterfahrer at some point if you live in Germany long enough. It will scare you.

deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid Einblenden

72 Responses to “Germans drive the wrong way”

  1. michael Says:

    “For example, Eskimos must live some place cold, because they have 42 words for snow.”

    No, they don’t.

  2. John Says:

    I know, but that’s still what people say.

  3. Bird of Prey Says:

    The British solved the Geisterfahrer-problem by switching to the Geisterfahrer’s prefered driving-direction! ;-)

  4. D Says:

    Ahh, cupholders … a caffeine-addicted driver’s wet dream. True, most cars now have something to put your cup in but it doesn’t compare to the real cup holder (the one that actually prevents your coffee from spilling all over your feet in a left turn)

  5. Chris Says:

    Yes you are right, but most often the Geisterfahrer are British tourists which want to test the German Autobahn in a rented Porsche or Mercedes SLK

  6. Stefan Says:

    I was on a german “Autobahn” recently and all the cars drove in the wrong direction. On the radio they just talked of one “Geisterfahrer”, but that was total [bullcrap], i can tell you.

    =)

    Editor’s note: We aren’t offended by old, recycled jokes, but the dirty words do bother us.

  7. DraMatick Says:

    We even have two words for that. Nowadays the radio always uses “Falschfahrer” instead of “Geisterfahrer”…

  8. Curtis Says:

    Here in Austria we have the same problems with Geisterfahrer - there’s never a minute that you don’t hear them chime in on the radio with an urgent announcement regarding some Geisterfahrer. It happens several times a day.

    My theory for this is very simple, and something that I’ve noticed in Germany as well. In the U.S., “Do not enter” signs are clearly and conspicuously located on both sides of the entry to one way streets. Here in Germany and Austria however, the sign is located only on one side of a one way street and there’s no sign on the main street to tell you that an upcoming intersecting street should not be entered. I myself have mistakingly turned into one way streets, only to realize my error, which meant that I had to quickly turn back out while hoping that the driver behind me is not driving too close. You only see the “no entry” sign AFTER you attempt to turn into a one-way street, not BEFORE.

    Combine this with nighttime driving and drunk drivers and voilá, you have a recipe for disaster, or as they call it here, ein Geisterfahrer!

  9. Dent Says:

    “This system is idiot proof.”

    Idiot proof systems don’t take into account the ingenuity of idiots

  10. T.M. Says:

    In Canada and I think also in the US I saw junctions with 4 stop sings. What the hell ist that for? A stop sign for every direction. Who’s driving first?

  11. Krischan Says:

    @TM: This is quite obvious - the one who reaches the junction first. Anyway, this also requires drivers to pay attention to the surrounding traffic. Mostly drivers rely only on the road signs - could be the wrong approach because the one who doesn’t obey these signs can cause havoc on the streets :-)

  12. derboti Says:

    Don’t get me started on the “4-way stop”. That’s probably the most annoying thing you can find on US roads. It’s a necessity in the US because they couldn’t come up with the concept of a Vorfahrtsstraße (again, another word that doesn’t have a translation).

    Btw, at a 4-way stop the driver who reached the intersection first has the right of way. Try to keep track of who’s first when there are 5 cars backed up on every side… I usually just go when I feel like I have stopped enough.

  13. Lenn (de) Says:

    Consider that
    1) most ‘Geisterfahrer’ turn out to be elderly, confused men with a hat on their head and a ‘gehäkelter Klorollenbezug’ on the back shelf.
    2) German population is getting older and older.

    It’s just a natural reaction of media to make up words that describe trends (like digitalization or inline skates). They do so to protect us, the young (and the kind of drivers Curtis described above), from frontally hitting a deranged old man on the wrong lane. Thank you, ‘Geisterfahrer’!

  14. Neil C Says:

    “A stop sign for every direction. Who’s driving first?”

    The car the reaches the intersection first is allowed to proceed first. If both (or even three) arrive at the same time, the car to the right goes first. Obviously, if they arrive at opposite sides, it shouldn’t matter. Unless one is turning. Then, the one going straight proceeds first.

    If four cars arrive at the same time (a rare event, but I’ve seen it), you get to watch some comical lurching and hesitating, as each driver attempts to figure out what to do. You may even get to watch a minor collision, as they simultaneously come to the same decision to drive ahead.

    This particular sign arrangement is supposed to make life easier for pedestrians, not cars, so you often see it in neighbourhoods.

  15. Eddi Says:

    whenever you design an idiot proof system, somebody designs a better idiot…

    that has always been the case…

  16. Trent Says:

    “In Canada and I think also in the US I saw junctions with 4 stop sings. What the hell ist that for? A stop sign for every direction. Who’s driving first?”

    As far as I know, the US and Canada use a first come, first serve system.

  17. DB Says:

    @T.M. First come first served. Works increadibly well.

  18. perdian Says:

    The four-way-stop-junctions would never be possible in Germany, since everybody would insist “I was there first - didn’t you see it?!” ;-)

    I was very puzzled when I encountered my first 4-way-stop-junction in the US and realized that it actually works pretty well - in fact my experience was that actually all cars would stop and think “the other one must have been here first” instead of using the good old German “me first” strategy.

  19. Tarkus Says:

    Not the main topic:

    The first years i used a cell phone, i thought there is not much danger using it while driving. Then i got a hands-free speaking system. After a while i had to drive a car without this and i was astonished how hindering a cell phone in the hand can be. Especially if you already need several hands - one for the steering-wheel, one for the gearshift lever, one for the cup of coffee, one for the cigarette and maybe one for the co-driver. ;o)

    That’s why i love my car with automatic transmission, automatic speed control, cup holder and upgraded with hands-free speaking system. Handling the steering wheel with my knee and talking free, i have hands enough for the really important things (coffee, cigarette or co-driver). :o)

  20. Mixxy Says:

    Cars in Germany don’t have cupholders?How come?
    I have been in the US for the past 10 years,and I know germans had no cupholders then,but for some strange reason,I thought
    they have caught up by now.
    Maybe it is because of the lack of sophisticated travel mugs?
    And no more Soda cans?
    There is a whole new industry waiting to be discovered!
    Unemployed in

    Germany? Start your own business as a travelmug maker.
    I just recently bought a new car and what sold it to me were the illuminated cupholders along with the cooling glove compartment.

    Mixxy

  21. Thomas Says:

    @Mixxy: Most German cars I’ve seen don’t have proper cupholders. If anything, they have slight circular depressions - they tell you where you can put your cup, but are no good at actually *holding* it in an upright position when the car is moving.

    4-way stops: Easily the most confusing thing when I started driving in the U.S. Once you get used to it, it makes a lot of sense, though. I’m sure there would be fewer collisions if Germany adopted this system. That said, roundabouts are probably even better.

  22. Anonymous Says:

    Due to the lack of a proper Drive-Thru Eating and Drinking System in Germany, there is no demand for proper Cupholders in Germany.

    And what are people in the US called, when the drive in the wrong direction?

  23. John Says:

    We don’t do it, so we don’t have a word for it.

  24. Kay Says:

    @ Thomas: Roundabouts are great. I started to otice them in TN in smaller neighborhoods. It made my day when I saw how confused some Americans were going in circles over and over again missing their exit each time. ;)

    I think the closest you can get to becoming a “Geisterfahrer” in the US are the turn lanes in the middle of the road in some states. It is kinda scary when you attempt a left turn having another car coming toward you trying to do the same but behind your car.

  25. Tarkus Says:

    4-way stops: In case that all directions have the same rights we just put NO sign there. Easy, isn’t it? :o)

  26. Mixxy Says:

    @anomynous

    I don’t drive thru nothing and still could not live without my cupholders.
    Freshly brewed Jacobs Kroenung on my way to work
    is a must.
    And I sure won’t place my morning coffee between my thighs and squeeze to keep it from spilling!

    Therefore I am endorsing cupholders for all Germans!

    Mixxy

  27. Manuel Says:

    Mixxy: I think most Germans drink their coffee at home or at the work place, the car isn’t our living room/kitchen (yet).

  28. Dent Says:

    Well actually german cars have a kind of cupholder, but mostly 2 not 10-20 like american cars. Most germans don’t eat and drink in theire cars ’cause they don’t want to ruin the interior with a badly handled burger, american cars look like crap anyway so it doesn’t matter if you dirt them up a little. The lack of cupholders ca also be explained by the fact that ALL GERMANS HATE F***ING CONVENIENCE.

  29. John Says:

    Thanks Dent, you saved me from having to write that article.

    And there’s no need to yell.

  30. Thomas Says:

    Cell phone while driving???
    There is one natural enemy of naive, europeans who take a bicycle for covering all distances shorter than 10km in the US: small, midle-aged women, who can hardly look over their steering wheel, in f*****g large SUVs. While ‘driving’ they make phone calls, sip on Fivebucks coffees, sort their iPods and bawl at their children!
    No wonder that there are hardly any cyclists on US roads — they have falen victim to the merciless law of natural road selection.

    Luckily in Germany natural selection takes place on Autobahns while driving highways in the US is pretty boring — most of the time you can even relax while taking a highway! How boring!

  31. WasWoWashington Says:

    “Geisterfahrer”–a daily occurrence at 17th and L Streets in the central business district of Washington, DC, and any place with reversible lanes. Most serious when lane changes are suspended on certain holidays but not others.

    Since “Geisterfahring” happens so frequently and in so many different settings in more than 50 quite independent jurisdictions covering the USA, it’s no surprise that no single uniform term has been coined to cover all of America.

  32. Mixxy Says:

    I thought about about cupholder issue all day long. And yes, I do have a job.
    Besides the fact that Germans don’t enjoy convenience, and therefore despise cup holders
    , maybe the just don’t travel long enough to be eating and drinking on the road.
    The German perception of distance greatly differs from the American one. Commuting to and from work in the usa might easily take up to 90 minutes one way. I couldn’t possibly wait for
    an hour and a half before I get my caffeine shot.

    And while I am already writing about long commutes in metro areas, let’s talk about Washington DC.(this is for waswo)
    I know that you can not possibly compare driving in DC to the rest of the 48.
    For people who never been to our beloved capital, let me explain.
    Before you ever even consider driving into DC, make sure you take at least 3 valiums and at a couple of prozacs.the medication will help you not to make any sense of DC’s ’strassenfuehrung’ and it will also make it easier for you to ignore the
    Drivers behind you who will constantly blow their horns at you.
    downtown DC’s streets start somewhere and usually end in front of a building.you
    Would then have to find a way around that building to pick up the same street.
    Never expect to go back the same way you came in, this is not possible.
    And just when you thought you are on the correct street, watch out for 6ft deep potholes. You will loose your wheelcaps.
    Buying a map for Washington DC is senseless. Only remember that each street name exists 4 times.
    If you are looking for 17th street, please understand that there is a 17th street,northwest, a 17th street northeast, a 17th street southwest and a 17th street southeast.
    3 out of the 4 choices will have you end up in DC’s ghettos.
    Maybe you get your car jacked there and are now forced to do what you should have done from the start. Take the friggin Metro.

    Schoenen Abend wuensch ich noch aus dem knallheissem Tennesse.

    Mixxy

  33. 500beine Says:

    Well, I know a german guy, who has no fuehrershine, but fivehundred legs, all in the wrong direction. Poor bastard.

    A Geistergeher.

    That gives it auch.

  34. John [not the site author] Says:

    A word about 4-way stop signs in the US. At least in my state, there is no official law that states that the car on the right has the right-of-way when more than one car approaches the intersection at the same time. This is merely customary.

    Either way, it still blows my mind that a 4-way stop should confuse a German.

  35. Knut Says:

    The four way stop is based on a principle that will not work in this country: Consideration rather than strict rules.
    Thats why it is so confusing to Germans.

  36. Patrick Says:

    Actually we sorta have almost the same here in germany except for the stop signs.
    i know a lot of crossings where there is no sign at all which means the person from your right is allowed to go first, but if there are 4 cars from each direction they just have to communicate to figure out whos driving first.

  37. Dent Says:

    There is a dutch town called Drachten, where they just got rid of all street signs, traffic-lights and pretty much everything else. Instead they used a concept called “shared space”, which, despite the fact that its pretty illogical, works pretty amazing.

    http://www.rp-online.de/public/article/auto/verkehr/112044/Planer-schafft-alle-Verkehrsschilder-ab.html

    German governments not only love rules, they also love to show that there are a lots of rules, therefore there are about 20 million signs on german streets and not all of them make sense:

    http://www.rp-online.de/public/bildershowinline/aktuelles/auto/6878?skip=1&refback=/public/article/auto/verkehr/112044/Planer-schafft-alle-Verkehrsschilder-ab.html|article

  38. paula Says:

    hey john, you have no geisterfahrer? i think i read that nicole richie or some of those girls got charged guilty for being a geisterfahrer when she drove down the highway completely stoned. ;)

  39. Manuel Says:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All-way_stop

    “A malfunctioning traffic light would be considered as all-way stop until police or the repair crew arrives.”

    No wonder that there were so many accidents during the power outage a few years back.
    This wouldn’t happen in Germany, since we have backup signs at every traffic light, as can be seen here: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6f/Lünen_Zusatzampel_Motor_Aus.jpg

  40. Üther Says:

    We laughed some weeks ago…

    In the radio news, they said: “Danger, there is a couch lying on the A7″ Half an hour later, they said “Danger, there is a Geisterfahrer on the A7″. So we joked “Hey, he noticed that he lost his couch and made a U-turn to pick it up…” Next day in the newspaper we read that we were right…

  41. Sebastian Says:

    This blog entry is proreposterous! Many germans nowadays are fat enough to care about cupholders!

  42. Mixxy Says:

    There is a connection between fat germans and cupholders??
    Interesting…

    Mixxy

  43. Dent Says:

    No but there’s maybe a connection between too much convenience and fat people, btw “Spiegel online” reports that according to scientists in about 40 years every american will be fat

    http://www.spiegel.de/wissenschaft/mensch/0,1518,570662,00.html

  44. Mixxy Says:

    Really?wow,das darf ich dann ja sogar noch mit erleben,falls ich nicht vorher an nem herzinfarkt sterb oder so.
    Ernsthaft,es gibt Unmengen von Amerikanern die sehr viel wert auf gesunde Ernaehrung und Sport legen und trotzdem die vielzitierte amerikanische bequemlichkeit nicht missen moechten.
    Und irgendwo hab ich vor noch nicht allzu langer zeit gleich mehrere studien gelesen,das deutsche anscheinend inzwischen auch das eine oder andere pfund zugelegt haben und im ‘weltfettspiegel’ ziemlich weit oben schwimmen,und das ohne zuneigung zur bequemlichkeit und ohne cupholders.

    Gruss Mixxy
    (diesmal mit genialen 88F degrees bei strahlender Sonne und nur 40% humidity)

  45. buchstaeblich Says:

    Well, Geisterfahrer are even called Falschfahrer, but it can’t take lots of times until the Verein Deutsche Sprache e. V. will create a “better” word, arguing that a Geisterfahrer should be called “Fahrtrichtungs-Zuwiderhandler”, because this is a much better working word in a special german language, called Beamtendeutsch.

  46. Uno Says:

    Wow, some people here should try to learn English before actually writing it. Just saying…

  47. Bird of Prey Says:

    Perhaps “Geisterfahrer” is called “Falschfahrer” now because the ghosts (who prefer to be called “spectral entities”) complained that this term isn’t politically correct. ;-)

  48. PropheT Says:

    Ich habe diesen Blog grade entdeckt und bin nun extrem unentschlossen ob ich ihn großartig finden oder abgrundtief hassen soll.

  49. John Says:

    @PropheT - Keep reading. If you laugh then it’s good, if not then your hatred is justified.

  50. Robert Says:

    Ja, nu… vielleicht haben Amis kein Wort fuer Geisterfahrer… und keins fuer Zeitgeist… und Kindergarten mussten sie auch bei den Deutschen abschreiben… aber dafuer haben sie andere Worte, die es im Deutschen nicht gibt! Da sind road rage und road rash — wer sagt da, dass Highway entspannter ist als Autobahn?!?

    Robert

  51. Mixxy Says:

    Don’t forget about roadkill!

    Mixxy

  52. Anony Says:

    Why the delay? Waiting on official approval from the Ordnungsamt on the content of the new post?

  53. D Says:

    He might just be on vacation - it’s August after all.

    @Uno: I heartily agree.

  54. Mike B Says:

    On the 4-way stop sign thingy … we have “Rechts-vor-Links” in the US (though you wouldn’t know it), and we realized early on that we couldn’t trust each other to be on the ball, hence the four-way stop.

    I was once in the larger aisle crossing a smaller aisle in a German super-market (OK, what passes for one in Germany), and the little old lady coming from the right barked out at me “Rechts-vor-Links, Junger Mann!” and I then realized this really is ingrained in the culture.

  55. Manuel Says:

    Well, “rechts vor links” isn’t the oldest traffic rule for nothing…

  56. westernworld Says:

    unlike most american highways and interstates you can’t remedy entering in the wrong direction that easily or safely on the autobahn.

    there are barriers on the side and middle that prevent this.

    but you probably knew this and were only hard up for a joke to post.

    afaik california and some other states forbid talking on your cell without hands-free equipment too.

  57. German guy Says:

    YA RIGHT ;)

  58. Brian Says:

    It’s illegal in Washington and New York. Although here in the evergreen state you can still use a cellphone if you have it on speakers or you’re using an earpiece. You just can’t use a hand set.

  59. anonym Says:

    I always thought I’ve to write ‘latest entries’ not ‘newest entries’ or can I use both

  60. titrat Says:

    In germany we could not make use of cupholders, because the roads are curvaceous and we drive fast - no time to drink. And we don’t want to blotter the seats.

  61. German Says:

    I also never understood the extreme display of stupidity of a Geisterfahrer despite elderly confused people and people trying to commit suicide.

    I like the solution of another country (dont remember which) which rip the tired if you pass the road in the wrong direction by a special mechanics in the ground.

  62. puck of pook's hill Says:

    “and you still have ridiculous restrictions like not being allowed to drive a stick shift if your practical test was performed in a car with an automatic transmission.”

    so? it’s not only plain wrong but in fact one of the things you hear in germany as an example of stupid restrictions the impose upon you in the us of a ….

  63. Dixi Says:

    Ooooohhhh how I agree with you! Germans don’t even use the word “Kundendienst”, although it’s in the dictionary. If at all, they use the English “Customer Service” probably because it makes them sound like a cool, well-educated company but they DO NOT practice the same.
    They do “Kundenbetreuung”, though. That sounds like it MIGHT be customer service but this is actually “Customer Annoying”. It usually takes place over the phone and consists of a rep from the company calling you and trying to convince you to buy something expensive and crap!

  64. Jan Says:

    Well i never encountered a Geisterfahrer, but i hear about them every time i switch on the radio while driving.

    Still our motorways are in the top five considering safety, though you may drive as fast as you (-r car) can. Speedlimits suck!

  65. AndreasP Says:

    “Here in Germany and Austria however, the sign is located only on one side of a one way street and there’s no sign on the main street to tell you that an upcoming intersecting street should not be entered.”

    @Curtis: this is simply untrue. See http://verkehrszeichen.kfz-auskunft.de/verkehrszeichen_vorschriftzeichen.html , signs 209 to 214.

  66. max Says:

    thats why americans are so fat because the eat junkfood and drink coke when they drive a car.
    i am proud to be european and german.

  67. Florian Says:

    We in Germany need strict rules, not 4 way stops –> “Rechts vor Links” (right before left)

  68. Facts, facts, facts. ;) Says:

    Admitted, I found the link on Wikipedia, but still:
    “On average about 350 people are killed each year nationwide in wrong-way freeway crashes, according to an analysis by retired FHWA traffic engineer Dennis Eckhart using the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration’s Fatal Accident Reporting System. The 350 figure covers those killed on divided highways, including driving the wrong way on one-way traffic ways such as freeway ramps. From 1996 through 2000, 1,753 people died in wrong-way crashes on the Nation’s freeways, according to Eckhart’s analysis.”

    Source: http://www.tfhrc.gov/pubrds/02sep/06.htm

    So much about “Geisterfahrer” in the US.

  69. Also John Says:

    We do have an expression for Geisterfahrer, it’s “Wrong-way Driver”, which pretty much explains itself. But I have to ask, when I drive the “wrong” way, how does everyone else knows where I am going?

  70. Henning Says:

    The Geisterfahrer is just an invention by the government to keep you on the right lane. You won’t drive on the left side all the time if you could hit by a car (taht speed isnt limited by the way. because thay couldn’t see any signs if they were driving on the wrong side :D ).

  71. Bogislav Says:

    “… they drive the wrong way down the street, and they do it so often that they have a word for it.” - Well, NO! If they would do it so often, they had 42 words for it! They have only ONE, which means that this happens rather rarely!!!

  72. Sven Says:

    I was driving on the A8 one time between Stuttgart and München and heard a newsreport on the radio that there was a “Geisterfahrer” on the A8. I remember thinking, “Just one? More like a thousand!”

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