Germans let their kids do stuff
Walk through a park in Germany on a Friday evening and you are certain to see a group of young teenagers well on their way to becoming completely intoxicated, and you will also notice that none of the adults walking by give them a second glance. That’s because Germans let their kids do things that Americans would never dream of allowing.
Germans recently decided it is a bad idea to allow cigarette vending machines available to anyone 3 feet tall or over, but that doesn’t mean you won’t see a group of kids that can barely reach the counter in their local Rewe working together as a team of 4 to struggle to carry the case of beer and pooling their money together to pay the 10 Euros for it. Although German parents aren’t particularly worried about their kids’ safety, the German government is worried about protecting its future tax base. That is why German kids have to use car seats a few years past the age that their parents let them start drinking. “Luca, get back in your car seat, and I told you a thousand times to use the ashtray!”
Not only will kids get the opportunity to hear dirty words on the radio and see naughty body parts on regular television, but they are also reading detailed instruction on how to do things only married people should being doing in the Bravo magazine that they have been subscribing to since they turned 11. Forget chaperons at the school dance, German teenagers are hanging out preglowing in the parking lot across from the disco so they can save enough money for the bus ride home afterwards.
German kids are allowed to go places by themselves, even riding the subways of largest cities completely unaccompanied. You don’t have bright yellow school buses with flashing lights stopping all traffic on both sides of street, school children are left to fend for themselves when they leave the campus. Some are allowed to even ride a bicycle without knee pads and a helmet.
One dramatic place where you can see German parents letting their kids do whatever they want is sports. German parents don’t stand on the sidelines screaming at their kids to kick the ball harder and run faster at the soccer game, they just let them play however they feel like. It’s despicable.
March 1st, 2009 at 4:55 am
It’s great!
March 1st, 2009 at 7:15 am
Falls der Beitrag ironisch gemeint gewesen sein sollte, dann habe ich die Ironie nicht verstanden. Falls er ernst gemeint gewesen sein sollte:
Nein, es ist in Deutschland keineswegs üblich, dass Kindern Alkohol (auch nicht Bier) verkauft wird, sondern in der Regel wird das Verbot vom Verkaufspersonal beachtet.
Deutsche Kinder erkennen einen Schulbus als solchen durchaus auch dann, wenn er nicht gelb und kein Oldtimer ist. Nein, es ist kein einziger Fall bekannt, dass ein Kind versehentlich zum Beispiel in die Presse eines Müllwagens eingestiegen ist.
Ja, deutsche Kinder beginnen sich tatsächlich während der Pubertät für Sex zu interessieren. Amerikanische Kinder nicht?
Ja, man trifft in gewissen Gegenden tatsächlich auf saufende Kinder, die zu belehren eine schmerzhafte Erfahrung werden könnte. Ein Amerikaner kann das allerdings nur schwer verstehen, denn dort gibt es schließlich keine Slums, gell?
Ja, viele deutsche Kinder dürfen sogar schon alleine vor die Haustür gehen. Sowas aber auch!
March 1st, 2009 at 8:58 am
Yeah, German (or european at all) kids are allowed to drink alcohol, to smoke, are educated well in sex-things and so on.
But neither crimerate, abortionrate, sexually-transmissible-disease-rate nor problem-drinker-rate is higher than in the US.
Hm! I don’t think it’s a wonder or so. It just shows, that this typical-US-ultra-abstinent-in-sex-and-drug-things position is not the right thing.
March 1st, 2009 at 9:43 am
Friday night? You can find a group of teenagers in the park near our place getting trashed any night of the week.
March 1st, 2009 at 10:26 am
Well, so much for the land of the free.
(Is “preglowing” really the english equivalent of the german “vorglühen” or did you just make that up?)
March 1st, 2009 at 10:26 am
So nice to be a kid in Germany.
March 1st, 2009 at 10:43 am
Brutal video games (and movies?) are not allowed for children!
I would say that all this is better than with the double moral standards in the us but yet the germans also have double moral standards
they drink alcohol at the latest when they’re 16 but cannabis is a very bad drug and illegal…
March 1st, 2009 at 10:55 am
I give this a 95%-truth-rating.
March 1st, 2009 at 10:58 am
*gg*
Well, that’s mostly true … but one interesting point there: Do Americans not let their kids ride the subway or a bus alone? How do their children ever get things done?
We have dirty words on radio (*g* “dirty words” - only the Land of the Free could have such a term …), you have Larry Flynt … what’s the problem?
March 1st, 2009 at 11:03 am
“pre-glow” seems to be a technical term for things like light bulbs. I don’t think there’s an own word for it in english, like we didn’t had that in Germany 10 years ago.
March 1st, 2009 at 11:08 am
Oh wait LEO says:
predrinking - drinking before going out to drink
pregaming - drinking before going out to drink (Amer.)
March 1st, 2009 at 11:42 am
Naughty body parts and dirty words ^^. Very american.
March 1st, 2009 at 12:04 pm
well, this post is anything but the whole truth. it’s just one really tiny detail. this post describes the extreme, but there is also a “normal” life. i cannot agree with this statement of the standard living over here.
March 1st, 2009 at 12:08 pm
My opinion? German kids are not allowed to do enough stuff, the society is much too strict. And espacially the law. I have been a child for a long time of my life and I really suffered from it. In my opinion children should be treated liberal. They have to learn freedom before they get 18 or 21, so that they don’t get problems when they are older. And you should grant them some fun and a happy childhood. Where’s the problem?
March 1st, 2009 at 1:21 pm
I think this is a very good blog entry again
.
@Tarkus & friends: Of course not all German teens are like that but you have to admit that you have seen that once or twice, haven’t you? Maybe not in the suburbs - but coming from Berlin I know what adolescents can be like. As I’ve just recently written in my own blog there are quite some things where German kids even annoy me (as a German).
March 1st, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Allein der Spass, zu sehen, wie sich nach jedem Post die Berufsbetroffenen melden und das Deutschland, aus dem sie sonst nur noch auswandern wollen, gegenüber den USA “verteidigen”, ist es doch wert so ein Blog zu haben. Ist es nicht manchmal zu einfach, sie aus Ihren Löchen zu locken? Grossartige Unterhaltung!
March 1st, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Wait! We should let everyone buy handguns legally instead. That would dramatically increase safety in Germany! (*sarcasm alert*)
March 1st, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Stimmt doch.
Das sind eben die Nebenwirkungen von Freiheit und Verantwortung üben.
Aber zwei Fehler findet man im Text: Man raucht nicht in deutschen Autos. Auch nicht die Kinder. Das mindert den Wiederverkaufswert.
Das deutsche Eltern nicht schreiend an der Seitenlinie stehen, ist leider auch falsch.
March 1st, 2009 at 3:31 pm
@Kim: You don’t smoke in German cars?! That would be new to me
! I even see people holding a cigarette in one hand and a mobile phone in the other hand - steering with the knees or the elbows 
! There are strange people driving around here 
.
March 1st, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Tja. Deutschland ist irgendwie nicht Deutschland.
So ziemlich alle rauchenden Autofahrer die ich kenne, rauchen tatsächlich nicht im Auto - mit der o.g. Begründung. Vermutlich mal wieder so eine regionale Sitte. Sparsame Leute oder so. *g*
March 1st, 2009 at 4:22 pm
true - german kids are virtually allowed to to everything. which is virtually not to understand as the usa show us so clearly what good effect keeping the kids away from it all has to teen crimes and teen pregnancy (yes, I’m looking at you, hockey-mom-governor of alaska
)
March 1st, 2009 at 5:05 pm
the second most awesomest thing about your blog is how it attracts those completely humor-free idiot Germans to comment and make …. out of themselves. the posts are funny, but the Germans that come crawling towards the comment section like the fly to the pile of …. are priceless. and there’s new germans for every post too!
the first most awesomest thing is how innocent the blog is of doing that on purpose.
signed
a drunk german above the age of 14.
March 1st, 2009 at 5:52 pm
@Steve
Geniale Antwort. Es ist eben doch nicht so einfach. John’s Post zeigt uns einfach wie gewisse (deutsche) Dinge aus seiner (amerikanischen) Sicht wirken.
Das hat nichts mit richtig oder falsch zu tun, wie die anderen ganz klar machen sind die USA auch nicht in jeder Hinsicht das Paradies für Kinder.
Ich hoffe einfach wir können voneinander lernen und unseren (deutschen + amerikanischen) Kindern eine schönere Zukunft geben. Meine sind 2 und 4 und ich habe sehr davon profitiert in einem amerikanischen Umfeld aufgewachsen zu sein.
March 1st, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Yeah, in Germany even adults are allowed to drink alkocol on the street - no brown paper bag required
March 1st, 2009 at 6:23 pm
Wenn jetzt noch jemand die Stellen entdecken würde, in denen sich John über die Sitten und Gebräuche seiner eigenen Landsleute lustig macht, dann ergäbe sich ein kompletteres Bild dieses Blog-Posts.
Das übersehen nämlich, wie ich glaube, auch einige hier…
March 1st, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Hehe yea really “despicable” how things are here in germany- nice ironic article (and man I hope there was irony).
Teaching children facts about sex is probably just the better way than just saying “NO you’re not allowed!” - cause that’s for SURE the best way to ensure that they’ll try it their own.
Seems we in germany are - in that case - more a country of freedom than the US.
March 1st, 2009 at 8:48 pm
@Stefan W.
Das ist eben das schöne/schmerzliche. Wir erlauben es einem ‘Außenseiter’ Dinge über uns zu sagen ohne das er selber im geringsten selbstkritisch sein muß.
Man nennt das auch Kritikfähigkeit. Gemeinhin soll uns das vorwärtsbringen.
March 1st, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Children buying alcohol and cigarettes? In Germany???
Didn’t they made the law more strict last year or so, so that now in order to buy those things, one really has to be 18 years old?
Well, of course you can see youngsters doing bad things… in Germany and everywhere else. At least you won’t see as many German children run through the streets with guns as children in some other, more american places… right?
March 1st, 2009 at 9:33 pm
@ Seattle:
Ich bezog mich eher darauf, dass sich im Text oben tatsächlich ein paar Dinge finden, wenn man genau hinguckt.
March 1st, 2009 at 9:41 pm
PS: In Ordnung, diesmal fällt der Bereich etwas magerer aus im Verhältnis zu älteren Posts.
March 1st, 2009 at 10:25 pm
@Haf
that’s only valid for liqour and cigarettes, beer is still for sell at the age of 16. And in my opinion that’s totally ok, beer ain’t alcohohl, it’s food!
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:07 am
As somebody who was an exchange student in the U.S. about two decades ago, I can understand how the average American might be shocked at the amount of freedom German teenagers have. Most American parents would be horrified at the mere thought of their kids legally being able to buy a whole case of beer (or any quantity, for that matter) and getting sloshed in the city park. Or their inebriated 17-year-old daughter staggering home at dawn all by herself after a night out with friends at the local disco and some serious debauchery. Add to that the long-accepted practice of conjugal sleepovers between teenage couples, and you will have most American parents staring at you in sheer disbelief.
The American model is, you are a CHILD for precisely 17 years and 364 days with few rights and a mere handful of freedoms. Bluntly put, many parents feel they own their “child”, whereas here, teens are more seen as “adults in training” and individuals who become increasingly entitled to certain rights and freedoms and their very own values, beliefs and opinions. In the US, on the other hand, alcohol is off limits until your early 20s, no dance club will let you in under 21 (without fake ID), and sex also tends to be a big taboo. Heck, every now and then, teens even get sent to prison for a consensual nookie. And on your 18th birthday, you are expected to somehow throw a switch inside your head and be an adult through and through and never look back.
Much of adolescence is (and should be) a gradual learning process during which you actually get to “do stuff”. In Germany, you learn all things “adult” gradually from right around your mid-teens, with few taboos attached. And failure more often than not is not held against you. Your teenage years are not about your parents relentlessly telling you to (or making you!) “resist temptation”, but developing and refining your judgement abilities in dealing with and experiencing those very temptations yourself.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:15 am
Der beste Eintrag seit langem. Habe mich wirklich sehr amüsiert — das weckt Kindheitserinnerungen!
Extra Brownie Points für “preglowing” für “vorglühen” =)
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:49 pm
@ Steve
Du hast ja so recht…..
Ich würde sogar sagen, in US werden Kinder geliebt, in Deutschland geduldet.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Not being allowed to do anything before you are 21 simply makes you more adventurous and inventive, in my experience: I had not been two weeks at my American exchange university when I had already nicked a blank student card to forge an ID, so my then 19-year-old friend could go dancing with us. Ah, good old days. We had to make our own fun back then.
March 2nd, 2009 at 4:42 pm
I’m curious.
The German law generally differentiates between children (up to 14 years of age), adolescents (from 14 years on) and adults (18 years and above).
This includes several rights, including criminal responsability, capacity (making contracts etc.) and such. This is in some way connected to 14 years being the regular age for Christian confirmation, meaning fully accepting one into the religious community (I don’t know which one influenced the other one… Religion the law, or law the religious customs).
16 years of course is another age that has some meaning, including movie admission and buying low alcohol drinks like beer… and used to be the age you were allowed smoking (which, as said before, was risen to 18 years recently).
Seeing young children being charged for crimes and the overprotectionism concerning adolescents in the USA, I’m wondering:
Is there indeed no age that has legal meaning in the US lower than 16 for driving and 18 / 21 for the rest?
I think the funniest thing is still the reversed order with drinking and driving ages in the US vs. Germany. Totally different concepts, as it seems.
March 2nd, 2009 at 6:44 pm
2 comments:
First, Germans get to drink beer at 16 and drive cars at 18. They have 2 years to figure out what beer does to a person before they get to drive a car. Compare that to cars at 16 and beer at 21.
Second: last time at a tittie bar here in the US, some dancers were wearing colored wrist bands. Becoming curious, we asked one of the girls. She explained that the band meant she was allowed to drink alcohol. Basically, in the US you may be allowed to dance naked in a tittie bar but not yet have a beer. WTF?!
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Oh boy, my fellow citizens tend to take thsis stuff much too serious, not all of them, but some, I like to call “the explainers”, need to get a large stick removed.
Back to topic, if you want kids to take responsibilty, which means to be able to deal with your stuff, you have to let them do stuff. You have to do mistakes in order to learn from them. How do you know how much Tequilas you can handle, if not by tryin’, it’s a pretty easy concept.
We don’t have Colleges in Germany (well of course we’ve got universities but thats not the same) or spring break, were all the year-long sexual and narcotic opression leads to all the stuff they should’ve done years ago. Actually, it leads to a week log orgy of sun, sex and booze…..which isn’t that bad of an idea.
Heres the problem, the american society is usually
a. scared
b. sexually opressed
a. is the result of too much guns, 9/11 and cable news,
b is more or less a result of a because parents are scared that sex turns teeanager into something evil. The thing is, there’s a reason why male teenagers turn into mindless horndogs, who want to jump everything that moves, at the same age girls grow boobs, it’s natures way to say “Hey, you’re old enough now, go and enlarge the gen-pool.” Unfortunately, there is an old jewish book of fairy tales, many of the horny teeagers parents believe in, that tells you that this is a bad thing to do.
Basically, German kids grow up in the wilderness, while (suburban) americans are kept in a zoo til they’re set out in the wilderness at the age of 18.
March 2nd, 2009 at 10:58 pm
The solution to the “Do Germans smoke in their cars or not?”-question: They do both at the same time! They open the door-window, and the arm with the cigarette is dangling out.
March 2nd, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Every Friday night in the Altstadt…
March 3rd, 2009 at 3:18 am
However, then you’ve got Germans who are afraid the mere image of a swastika or a video games featuring dismemberment are horrible. Kind of a weird standard.
March 3rd, 2009 at 3:55 am
Abgeht’s Ausgeht’s Drei Tage Wach…
Hahaha lustig, nicht wahr?
Ich war gegen August bis Dez. in Wien, am Uni. Ich fand es so seltsam, so merkwuerdig, dass die jungen Leute in Oesterreich (und natuerlich Deutschland auch) so freiwillig sind. Ich komme persoenlich aus Wisconsin (dummer Amerikaner, tja). Fuer uns ist es normal, ein oder zwei Bier zu haben, obwohl man nicht 21 ist. Ich finde es unglaublich besser in Deutschland, mindestens im vergleich zu Amerika.
March 3rd, 2009 at 4:07 am
This is a pretty [crappy] American perspective. I’m American, I haven’t seen anyone wearing “knee-pads” since I was 6 years old at a ‘Skate King’. And it’s much more common for me to see people not wearing helmets either. And as for alcohol/cigs, even though we can’t legally buy it under the age of 21/81, believe me it isn’t hard to come by. I’m 17 and I can buy just about anything. You just have to find the right people.
And you act like it’s a bad thing that over in Germany there aren’t douchebag parents screaming at their kids for playing soccer wrong. Hell, let the kids have fun. They’re KIDS. Who gives a [darn]? Maybe if we didn’t put constant pressure on kids, then they wouldn’t turn to dangerous drugs and kill themselves. Ever thought of that, original poster?
[Screw] this, I’m moving to Germany.
Editor’s Note: I try not to think that much. No words the FCC wouldn’t approve of please.
March 3rd, 2009 at 9:18 am
The only problem with some germans is that they chose to comment on this article in german.
March 3rd, 2009 at 9:30 am
(Dent:)
“Oh boy, my fellow citizens tend to take thsis stuff much too serious, not all of them, but some, I like to call “the explainers”, need to get a large stick removed.”
thanks, finally someone is getting it. i really couldnt find a better term than “the explainers”, describes them so perfectly.
i dont even understand why they all keep reading this blog, just to be offended by every entry.
all these people writing replies like “yeah but these things are actually nice bla bla” seem to have no clue of irony and should please stop reading this blog and whats even more important please (!!!) stop posting replies! you just approve this germans-dont-have-humor bias you find all over the world (and maybe particularly in the english speaking countries) (if you really dont know this fact just watch some random hollywood movies. sure you only get this if you are watching them in original language).
i love this blog because its written by an american who seems not to understand how things can be that different in germany. of course - attention please - it SEEMS like he doesnt understand things over here. of course hes a smart person and knows that things are just different and therefor not better or worse (and @ all of you: in my opinion its kind of a nazi-thing not to be aware of this) but thats the way this blog is written and thats what makes it that fun to read.
of course, as i said, nobody should have to explain these basic sense of humor things.
so, dear john, be sure there are people getting your idea.
keep posting, i love your blog! (maybe even more often if you can ;])
March 3rd, 2009 at 9:44 am
I’m sure this is article is not wholly descriptive of all German kids, but I have to say, having grown up in the US, that Americans are raising a land of wimps. No, kids here are generally not allowed to ride public transit alone. Any more. I was, but that was more than twenty years ago; when I was twelve, I regularly went downtown by myself in the large southeastern city in which I live. Now, I am harassed by my family if I let my teen-aged son walk two miles to school alone. And I live in a much farther out suburb than that in which I grew up. It’s very sad.
Of course, I don’t personally know what the statistics are in Germany for kids growing up to be spineless assholes, but here in the US it’s pretty astronomical.
March 3rd, 2009 at 1:28 pm
@Bob: the Reklam Taschenbuch translation of Monty Python’s “Life of Brian” has extensive footnotes explaining each joke. You’ll never convince Germans to stop being “explainers.”
March 3rd, 2009 at 1:48 pm
# Astrid Says:
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:49 pm
@ Steve
Du hast ja so recht…..
Ich würde sogar sagen, in US werden Kinder geliebt, in Deutschland geduldet.
oh oh oh, seriously? sending your kid into adulthood with no preparation surely is a sign of love *cough*
March 3rd, 2009 at 3:28 pm
@jdeuel
I agree with you. I noticed this years ago as well. In Germany every kind of pornography is ok while in the US this is a total taboo. At the same time any kind of violence is a total no-no in Germany while in the US its the most normal thing.
I would say that neither a lot of violence nor a lot of pornography necessarily makes you a good person.
March 3rd, 2009 at 3:32 pm
I remember going to a club in Erfurt and it being geared toward the under 18 crowd. What was funny though was that even though the legal age was 16, 15 year-olds could get in with a permission slip signed by their parents…
March 3rd, 2009 at 4:18 pm
“thanks, finally someone is getting it. i really couldnt find a better term than “the explainers”, describes them so perfectly. ”
Yeah well, I’am a recovering “explainer” myself, it lies in the family…long line of smartasses there. Germans can’t do nothing about it, like it’s in our frickin’ DNA.
It’s like playing in the dirt, young kids have to have contact with a lot of dirt, so their immune-system gets a clue how to fight all the little germs that come with it, if you keep them clean all the time, it’s party-time for all the allergies around, kids also need to have fights with other kids on the playground, it teaches them how to solve conflicts and that you have to respect other peoples properties. The wimpizattion of german kids is progressing, too. a friend of mine, father of a 2-year old boy, is shocked frequently who uberprotective some parents are, and its not only the moms anymore, ok easy for him to say, his kid is pretty tall, he even can fiight 4-year olds.
“I would say that neither a lot of violence nor a lot of pornography necessarily makes you a good person.”
It’s not exactly like that, but you got the point
March 3rd, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Btw,in Germany it’s actually allowed to drive naked, basically it’s a constitutional right (like Firearms in the US of A), as long as you don’t leave the car. I for myself would prefer a chick wearing nothing, driving a car, over a chick wearing a .50 Desert Eagle..,,,actually a naked chick wearing only a .50 Desert eagle would be really hot……I’ve to go now
March 3rd, 2009 at 7:05 pm
@Dent
Your last quote is much funnier than the original entry.
Dear John, I’m missing your notorious irony in this new post. It reads like the babble of a grumpy old man. Only ironic phrasing, but the true meaning behind seems to be less tongue-in-cheek than ever before. Usually you use the mockery about Germans also to tease your own fellow countrymen. I really missed that. Hope you are not running out of enthusiasm, I really love your blog.
March 3rd, 2009 at 9:35 pm
The guy, who writes this blog is either totally dumb or an absolute zynic. It’s useless to argue his observartions. You can find these things everywhere. But to conclude, that something, that can be seen once or twice, is the rule, is just pathetic.
How comes it, that the US are the country with the highest ratio of people in prison? Do not care a damn about environmental issues? Spend a wealth for armament and brings war to an uncountable number of places? Probably because their education and parental care for children is so much superior to anything anywhere else?
I’m convinced now, Germany must be part of the axis of evil.
March 3rd, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Well - stop complaining about the “explainers”. Mostly, starting to explain something only means that somebody kickstarted his brain - and, well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it? More important, exactly this is what “humor” and sarcasm are there for - to get people thinking by showing them the absurdities of certain behaviorisms.
Keep writing, John, and I will keep thinking about it and commenting and even explaining
Back on topic: back in my time, our American exchange students hit the record in drinking beer - not beeing allowed it, they had to do all the drinking in 2 weeks time while they were in Germany… and in America, I was totally scared by the state of the cars they drove around in. Ever watch “pimp my ride”? I rode in some cars like that (before the pimping, that is). No German parent would allow his kid in such a car (even if the TÜV would pass them, which it wouldn’t ;))
Oh, and another word on Monty Python: Never ever read English literature translated into German - every bit of pun will get lost and you will really need the explanations
(Holds for Terry Pratchett, too)
March 4th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
“I rode in some cars like that (before the pimping, that is). No German parent would allow his kid in such a car (even if the TÜV would pass them, which it wouldn’t”
TÜV means, that germans love their cars so much that they’ll pay for a full inspection every two years and if something turns out to be broken they’ll will fix everything immediately, it’s also required by law.
“Well - stop complaining about the “explainers”. Mostly, starting to explain something only means that somebody kickstarted his brain - and, well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it? More important, exactly this is what “humor” and sarcasm are there for - to get people thinking by showing them the absurdities of certain behaviorisms.”
Well, if you use your brain correctly and detect the sarcasm (it’s quite obvious, this time) you don’t have to argue about it. You will only argue the sarcasts (is that even aword) point of view if you just don’t get it, and some people here just don’t get it aka the “explainers”and their close relatives the “blamers”, who basically say “America sucks, too, you sons of b****es”, they also have a subspecies I call the “haters”, their spectrum reaches from “America really sucks…..big time” to the simple but concrete “Death to America”. The species are intercompatible, so you can be like 90 % blamer and 10% hater with a strong tendency to explain..
March 5th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Just for information:
Dent, I think, we (Germans) don’t really love our cars, but we mostly like them. Don’t Americans like their cars, too?
You said, that TÜV is required by law. But not the TÜV is required. It’s the inspection, which is required. The TÜV is just a company, which is authorized to make this inspections. But the TÜV is not the only one. Another one is the DEKRA, for example. Maybe you remember the DEKRA-sign on the collar of automobile racer Michael Shumacher’s shirt (paid advertising)?
But i’m sure, if it would not be required by law, nearly nobody would go there. Most cars of today don’t really need any regular inspections (except for not loosing the warranty). Several control systems are integrated, which warn early enough if a problem is coming up. And corrosion is nearly no problem since the materials and coatings became better and better.
March 5th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
@Bush
>I’m convinced now, Germany must be part of the axis of evil.
ever googled for “axis” and “germany”?
March 5th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I’m not gonna say that we (germans) don’t have any humor, which we certainly do. BUT we do have a serious problem with irony! Well, “problem”, we just take things too serious…
March 5th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
I grew up in Germany and live now in US since 2 years. I feel sorry for the American children and teenager.
You (Americans) can argue with the fact that Germans lern to drink befor lerning driving a car, but the Americans lern to shoot guns before they lern to drink!!
For my opinion, I started drinking alcohol with 16 (yeah, I was late) and sometimes too much but when I startet studying, I knew my limits and we had NICE parties. With dancing and fun until morning. Unlike in US, where everyone who just turned 19 and started at the collage, started drinking at the house parties enhanced by drinking-card-games. Useless, whithout fun, where everyone is drunken at 12 pm and the party stops. Unfortunately all bars and clubs close at 2 am!! How boring is that??
Public intoxication is another joke, invented by Americans. It is more save to drive home than walking. When a police officer catches you walking in a unusual way, one night in jail! Ridiculous!! And no alcohol in public… I miss the times where we just walked to a party and drank Dosenbier on the way
Sexual education. Yes we have it in school, 8th grade. Whereas here (US), sex is something mysterious, dirty, and forbidden (in some states doggy style is not allowed by law, but not enforced). Whats the matter, let your children know how it works. Sex on tv, reminds me to DSF after midnight, the Germans know what I mean
The article is funny in an ironic way, but let me tell you (Americans), Progress and Developement sometimes lack in US (in certain situations)!!!
March 6th, 2009 at 12:36 am
>> Sexual education. Yes we have it in school, 8th grade.
And the basic “Where do babies come from?” kind of education in 3rd grade. It’s more centered around pregnancy and childbirth, but also mentions sex, of course.
Anyone remember the book “Peter, Ida und Minimum”?
March 6th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Hey.. at LAST! a new blog-entry! .. Yeah i know it must be hard to constantly find cultural differences after such a rather long time you live here, now. but THANK YOU anyway
I love reading your articles. Not only because your style is kind of great, but also cause I get another perspective on my own country by that and realize, that germany is not as bad as all germans are genetically programmed to think (and then complain about it ;-).
but would the typical american parents really not let their children go alone by subway or walk through the city? I can not think of any reason why….
please: do more blogging. I neeeed to read that xD (<- spoken with the voice of homer simpson)
March 6th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
“ever googled for “axis” and “germany”?
Right, we invented that sh*t
@Tarkus
You missed the “explainer”-part, reading my post, didn’t you
March 6th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
@GermanLivingInUS:
Oh man, you get the irony, but the urge to be a “blamer” is still there, that makes you very german and worse than all of them
March 6th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
P.S: If you want to learn about other cultures, just by watching TV, I recommendAnthony Bourdains (he’s a chef from NYC) show “No Reservations” on the “Travel Channel” (in Germany its on DMAX, where available. Its also on Itunes, Youtube and of course mininova), episode 4×02 is specially enlightend (Just search the Youtube for “Bourdain in Berlin”)
March 6th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
@Meh - great reply, you hit the nail right on the head.
And to all those hwo keep bashing the Germans for defending Germany, that’s fine. It is true that Germans do have a tendency to be defensive. Being self-depricating isn’t sth that comes easy to us. You’ll have to deal with it, if you like it or not, I am afraid. And frankly I don’t care if you do. If you don’t like it, move on.
I, for one, think that Germany is the land where milk and honey flows!
March 6th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Haven’t been here for a while, but it’s sad to see how dumb your entries have gotten.
They lost their subtle sense of humor and irony and turned into simple Germany-bashing.
March 7th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
What do you mean with “naughty parts” of the human body? Did you get this kind of vocab from the official US dictionary of prudity or what?
March 8th, 2009 at 7:07 am
A fine post, John
The replies of humorless germans trying to defend their culture make your blog even more worth reading.
March 8th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
@Dent OMG, I saw the No Reservations episode in Berlin and was VERY ashamed to be German.
If you know the show and have watched a couple of episodes, you expect something grand and exciting. Just to have to watch Gregory Gysi? Urgh.
March 8th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
… and I must say, I don’t get you guys. Knowing both countries quite well I have to say John’s observations are absolutely accurate. Why you don’t get the irony behind it is beyond me. Loose up, guys! It’s just a blog… and it’s fun!
March 8th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
The real problem in Germany is that all form of authoritary education is meanwhile forbidden by the law. No matter how rotten your kids are: If you beat the crap out of them and someone gets to know that, you can get sued for that. And I don’t speak about real domestic violence, but even if you slap them like many of us were slapped by our parents when we were young, you will get a lot of problems for that.
Even yelling at you kids is considered by some people as an unsupportable kind of “violence” which will leave them traumatized for the rest of their life. Don’t think about punishing them too: Locking them up in their rooms, cancelling their pocket-money or confiscating their X-Box etc. is not good for their mental growth.
So when your kids turn to little monsters, you are supposed to talk to them like their were adults and explaining them that what their are doing is really, really bad/nasty. For sure they listen to you! *LOL* And when talking inevitably fails, what will you do?!? Right! You’ll go with them to dozens of psychologists which will all tell you that your kids are just helpless little things who just want attention and recognition. You will be told that it’s not you kid’s fault when they e.g. smash a vase, but it’s only your fault. You just have to give them more attention and your kids will immediately stop all kinds of nonsense and instantly become little angels again. And then there’s still the “Supernanny” which you can call to the rescue. But don’t raise the hands on your kids, because if you do that, you will destroy their future and some judge will tell you that you are the worst parents a child can have…
March 8th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
I never thought to say this anytime.
But on the side of view of the Blog, i am very happy to grew up and live in Germany.
March 8th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
“@Dent OMG, I saw the No Reservations episode in Berlin and was VERY ashamed to be German.
If you know the show and have watched a couple of episodes, you expect something grand and exciting. Just to have to watch Gregory Gysi? Urgh.”
Well. I thought it was a great episode, the Gysi part was lame, but he really liked the food and the city….so what.
March 8th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
Well, many things were said here yet, I guess I can agree with most of them.
In one aspect though, I tend to agree with your view:
German parents really seem to be careless when it comes to letting their kids ride to school by bike.
While this is an orderly country otherwise, and, contrary to your view, I do not feel that German parents don’t take care of their kids, I am frequently astonished when again a six year old, often without helmet, always without company, rides his bike through winter rain or snow, through tightest city traffic, in the early hours of morning. I’ve seen more than once that this has caused very dangerous situations in traffic, and can’t stop to wonder why you see this phenomenon in orderly Germany rather than in any other European country, even bike-crazy Netherlands …
March 8th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
It’s despicable. Yes, it is. But not the whole of the US, hopefully !
Greetings from DUS
March 9th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Just found this block and it is nice. Even so it is from an American, dont’t just bash it. I think we Germans don’t care enough for our kids anymore.
I can understand, that he is worried about the kids. I have the impression, that even every rural school has its video surveillance system. And it is nice that the traffic has to stop, when the kids enter and leave the school bus. With this history in mind Germany is dangerous for kids. On the other hands Germany has way more side walks.
What he says about alcohol and cigarettes, I agree that you see too many kids drinking and smoking. Why are there smoking areas for the students at some schools in Germany? We Germans lack responsibilities for our kids. That used to be different in the past. However, even so Americans don’t have Bravo, it does not prevent them to practice for the time they are married. If they are caught in public, oh well, they get a column (or at least it will be mentioned) in the local news paper. This only works if it is seen as an embarrassment, I am not sure if that would work in Germany.
I think Germany and America has both their crazy beliefs, but at least in Germany we have to listen to the signs that are popping up. May be we could learn something from the Americans, like keeping the youth busy with voluntary school activities. We are loosing our young generation!
March 9th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
@Peter
Another poor german fellow without any sense for irony. First of all you’re right we have to spend more on education and school needs to be a place to be around the whole day, we have to get the poor kids from the streets (no irony intended).
NEWSFLASH: Kids will do things they’re not allowed to do, like smoking, hitting the bong, drinking and all the gother good stuff. We’re loosing nothing, every generation is different with their own rules to break and their own limts to develop
March 9th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
A thought hit my brain some time after I wrote my last post here…
It’s not irony, explaining or one of the other things that gets us Germans all twisted, it’s the simple thought that there could by two sides to a topic.
The basic German is totally convinced that his interpretation of the world in general is the only one worthwhile and that anybody disagreeing with that is a poor moron per definition. This holds with science, humor, politics, you name it.
The Anglo-Saxon concept of “Agree to Disagree” is something unheard of here - anybody allowing for another point of view besides his own is considered weak. Even the simple act of discussion is disapproved by many - lots of people complain about “the Green party disagreeing so much” and instead vote for CDU, where any acclamation below 90% is considered a big failure. There is also no such thing (or very rare) as debating clubs - the prospect of having to defend a cause one doesn’t approve of is just too alien to us.
Actually, the comments in this blog also prove my point - every time somebody expresses some kind of opposition or even slightly hints at criticism, he gets bashed by the claqueurs. I for one don’t want to read (many) posts along the lines of “well done, keep it up” - these are boring. The controversial posts are much more interesting!
March 9th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
Benedicta wrote:
“lots of people complain about ‘the Green party disagreeing so much’…”
The problem with the Green party is not that they are disagreeing so much, but that they’ve made disagreeing some kind of dogma/ideology. In many countries, oppositional parties tend to think that being in the opposition means you’ve got to say “No!” to every political decision the coalitional/governing parties make – no matter if these decisions make sense or not. They disagree by principle, just because they are in the opposition and this behaviour is not only childish, but a nuisance for every democratic system!
March 10th, 2009 at 3:58 am
Wow…..I’m an American living in the Hawaiian Islands and our goal is to get our family to Bavaria ( Deggendorf -Regen ) ASAP. Just looking around for reserch purposes and all I can say is ……wow again.
I have absolute respect for the German / Bavarian culture and attitude. I have an advantage because my wife is from there, but I found nothing but courtesy and respect as the core values in people there.
I’ve lived many places in the USA and it’s in my heart, but you guys should cherish the fact that your culture has got you this far and speaking as an American ….thank God you guys are as anal as you are.
Your structured order of things works better than anywhere I’ve lived or visited in the USA. Quit beating yourselves up and be thankful you don’t live in South Central Los Angeles or DC and have to live with the chaos that children/parents try to survive in.
With Aloha
March 10th, 2009 at 10:58 am
@Benedicta: I guess we Germans are more open-minded than you just expressed. In contrast to the stereotypical American we know what’s going on around the world and we also try to understand why people act the way they do. There are so many documentaries in TV presenting different cultures with their different habits and the like.
It may be right that we stick to our opinion until we get convinced that it is not correct - but until now I have met only few people who did not like to enter a constructive debate. As it is: it’s much more fun debating than just be convincing
.
March 10th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
John - I thought it was a pretty funny post, but apparently you really touched a nerve. Very personal comments! As an Ami, I am shocked and offended by the prevailing attitudes on this one. WOW! I have to go now, my uptight, sexually oppressed and sober Mommy is calling for me. I think she wants to borrow my gun.
March 11th, 2009 at 10:26 am
Well, what a trashy blog. What a typical american way to see thinks. What a poor mind behind all this crap.
And by the way: most german children are able to read this blog — so a american? Dont think so….
March 11th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
@Felix: looking at the daily traffic this blog generates your comment was just a reeeaaal self-ownage.
March 11th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Yep, pretty much own3d himself, damaged irony-detector takes another victim.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Definitely one of the trashiest replies. i think its even my favorite.
he complaints about what he thinks is a “typcial american way to see things”. by that (and surely by “most german children are able to read this blog — so a american? Dont think so….”), he states that he has the “typical” german way to see american folks.
really enjoyed that one!
March 13th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
I’ve been reading this blog for some time and sometimes it seems to me you do everything to provoke people. The interesting thing are the comments and how - after a while - there are always formed two different opinions. A German (usually it is a German) says that he has another opinion as the one described by yourself. Then somebody (usually it is a German) writes that he or she has no sense of humor. That makes the first person mad and in a position with the urge to defend him/herself.
You know - we as Germans - often think that we have to excuse ourselves for being as we are or otherwise to persuade everyone that our way of seeing things is the only possible solution.
Nonetheless - beside the humor and sarcastic thing - did you like your stay in Germany?
March 13th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
@Claudia,
In a word, yes.
I lived in Germany on three separate occasions, each time just for the fun of it.
March 14th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
“naughty body parts”
hehe, that made my day. thanks for that one. triggers both the U.S. and the Deutsche
March 15th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Always when I read texts like this, written by American “moralizers” I’m so glad to be a teenager growing up in Europe.
Are you just trying to provoke or are or are you blushed, because your own country still is teaching medieval pretencens like creationism or censoring Harry Potter because it’s “pagan”.
The Germans might have their tics, but they don’t feel that superior and they don’t tell other countries what’s to do and what’s to think.
btw: I really like reading your articles but I try to interprete them like a satire. It’s always good to see the other side.
March 16th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
Ich finde das der Artikel ein bischen übertrieben ist.Die Umstände, die oben beschrieben sind mögen in manchen großstädten (beriln z.B.) zutreffen, allerdings ist ein großteil (saufen, kiffen,rauchen übertrieben)
Zwar sind die Kinder schon mit 11 aufgeklärt, dafür gibt es dann aber keine ungewollten Schwangerschaften wie in Amerika, England und dem Rest der unauggeklärten welt.
Das mit den intimen Stellen wir in Amerika meiner meinung nach viel zu hoch genommen.Eigentlich sieht doch jedes kind bereits nach 3 tagen die erste weibliche Brust,oder ? Außerdem,guckt euch doch mal die Werbung an die sogar auf kinderseiten ist die auf deutschen seiten die da sein würde (Brust-op,Dating anfragen)
Trotzdem gibt es immer wieder ein paar gammler.Die dann meistens aus der Türkei kommen.
March 17th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
@stekam: Ever thought of that he is just writing about what he has experienced? Do you feel provoked when being confronted with the differences between American teens and German teens?! o.O
@Teenager: Where do you live? No unwanted pregnancies in Germany? What hilarious joke is that supposed to be? To the advertisement: you know that they are selected automatically depending on the content of a page? So the presence of only one buzz word leads to wrong selections.
March 17th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
@Mea Culpa: no, I don’t feel provoked when being confronted with the differences between American teens and German teens at all. But he is not talking about the differences. He’s tells us how wonderful American parents do their job and how badly the Germans. And I don’t think that he really has all the facts and experiences to judge about this.
March 18th, 2009 at 3:44 am
That’s a hilarious post and an awesome blog, John! Gruesse aus Chicago!
March 18th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Just a tidbit of news to support this theory on the american side: http://www.boingboing.net/2009/03/17/kid-walks-to-soccer.html
March 18th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
@stekam: Have you considered that all facts that are mentioned can be seen in a positive way as well? I mean… yes, parents let their kids go by underground on their own - but German kids are actually able to do so without constant paternalism. Wouldn’t you say that it’s an advantage to grow up being nearly entirely independent of your parents?
March 18th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
So true. You couldn’t have put it better.
March 19th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
You got it all wrong! Nobody would call his child “Luca” in Germany.
March 20th, 2009 at 1:15 am
@ Magic:
http://faz.decenturl.com/die-beliebtesten-vornamen
March 20th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Yea, what happened to good old normal names like Uwe or Bodo…or Horst?
March 21st, 2009 at 6:39 pm
http://www.chooseresponsibility.org/
March 22nd, 2009 at 2:34 am
@Dent: hahaha… how funny is that one
?! One “Arguments For Legal Age 21″ is that “It saves lives by preventing alcohol-related traffic fatalities among 18-20 year-olds and the rest of the population.”. Would be pretty bad if it wouldn’t - I mean, as teens from 18-20 are allowed to drive a car but are not allowed to drink alcohol it is obvious that there are going to be less alcohol-related deaths among 18-20 year-olds 
.
March 22nd, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Someone wrote:
“Btw,in Germany it’s actually allowed to drive naked, basically it’s a constitutional right ”
No, that is not true: You have to wear at least shoes. They fear you could otherwise not use the brakes good enough.
March 22nd, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Muttley wrote:
“No matter how rotten your kids are: If you beat the crap out of them and someone gets to know that, you can get sued for that.”
Of course, and that’s correct. I hope yo have no kids in your force.
“And I don’t speak about real domestic violence, but even if you slap them like many of us were slapped by our parents when we were young, you will get a lot of problems for that.”
That does explain a lot: You were slapped as a child, so you don’t know better than that. You have been traumatized for the rest of your life.
“Even yelling at your kids is considered by some people as an unsupportable kind of “violence” which will leave them traumatized for the rest of their life.”
You may show your gruntle, but yelling does not help a lot. I feel that you only yell afterwards, when it’s too late, but do nothing before. I’ve seen such parents, they never talk to their children, they only ever yell at them, and tell them what they done wrong this time. Nothing else, it’s so ashaming.
“Don’t think about punishing them too: Locking them up in their rooms, cancelling their pocket-money or confiscating their X-Box etc. is not good for their mental growth.”
Locking them up longer than a few minutes is asocial and not helpful.
Of course you should be consequent, and could take the Wii oder X-Box away (that would be a good thing anyway).
I think you are an agressive slapper, who only turns to children to live out his agressions to this weak and most times innocent humans.
March 22nd, 2009 at 12:34 pm
titrat: No, you don’t have to wear shoes. But if you are involved in an accident and didn’t wear proper shoes, they might hold that against you. And sandals are worse than barefoot.
March 23rd, 2009 at 12:56 pm
titrat wrote:
“That does explain a lot: You were slapped as a child, so you don’t know better than that. You have been traumatized for the rest of your life”
@titrat:
Well, actually we (my two brothers and I) didn’t have to be slapped many times. When you get the proper education, slapping is just used in ultima ratio – when everything else fails. We didn’t need to be slapped very often, because we knew what would happen after the second warning or we just needed to see the angry looks of our parents to know that we’d gone too far. There’s a german proverb which says “wer nicht hören will, muss fühlen” meaning nothing less than “who doesn’t *listen* resp. obey, will have to *feel* (the consequences)” – and that’s how authority works.
Every parent knows that children are not as innocent as you want to make us believe and children tend to go too far when trying to find out how far they can go. So you’ve got to set limits and when the kids ignore these limits (despite several warnings), the talking ends and there’s nothing better than a good spanking to make the children come back to reason!
March 24th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
@titrat
“No, that is not true: You have to wear at least shoes. They fear you could otherwise not use the brakes good enough.”
You’re german I pressume, so there is probably no irony involved in your comment….which is sad cause it means you’re just another smartass. Let me ask you this if your wife/girlfriend/preferred hooker is standing right before you, wearing just shoes, you would call her naked, wouldn’t you? (same goes for hat, ties and stockings) - so STFU.
“Even yelling at your kids is considered by some people as an unsupportable kind of “violence” which will leave them traumatized for the rest of their life.””
“I think you are an agressive slapper, who only turns to children to live out his agressions to this weak and most times innocent humans.”
And I think your a clueless moron…..are we allowed to use the term “moron” here?
March 26th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
“German parents don’t stand on the sidelines screaming at their kids to kick the ball harder and run faster at the soccer game, they just let them play however they feel like.”
Definitely and absolutely NOT TRUE. Would be great if it was the case, though! “Jeder ist ein Bundestrainer” applies to soccer moms and dads, too. Go visit your local soccer club on any given saturday or sunday and watch how German parents behave.
April 2nd, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Hmmm.
There’s one thing, I wanna have lesson on: where the hell are my naughty body parts? Thought all my live that almighty God gave me all the parts belongin’ to me - so, where are those naughty ones comin’ from?? And:
how can I get rid of them?
Thanks for some hints!!
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:54 am
What I find interesting, is that this page is complete satire… And you people want to take everthing so seriously… I am an american and I’ve lived in Germany for almost 9 years now. What I find, is that Germans, if I can generalize, which, mind you is dangerous, generally don’t find this kind of humor funny. The tend to take it seriously, especially when the finger is pointed at them, now if it is about someone else, then it is funny. There is, an element of truth in the things written here, but no humor would be funny, if there wasn’t an element of truth. Oh well, I guess some people take themselves too seriously..
April 4th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
You definitely mastered the German skill of nesting sentences
(although some commas are misplaced)
April 6th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
There is one mistake: The Kids cancel the subscription to the Bravo magazine when they turn 11 :p
April 7th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
@Joe
Yep, you’re right, good job in pointing out the obvious, or to use a phrase every mindless, redneck-american understands: DUH!
My problem with stereotypes is, that all the yanks who show up here and write s**t about how germans have no sense of humour and don’t get irony seem to forget that the typical american himself isn’t so wild about irony or sarcasm, sth I found out a while ago, especially regarding some sensible topics like
race-relations, healthcare, weapon-control, obesity, american car-engineering, free market, the way you screw up the world etc.
So to all you fat, pill-dropping, racist, gun-loving, ultracapitalists driving sh**ty cars over there I say: STFU and stop screwing up the planet.
April 8th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
@Dent: Germans may let their kids do stuff, but they sure want the rest of the world to do what they say. That certainly worked well in the past, right?
April 10th, 2009 at 12:10 am
Dent’s last post sounds like it come from the German guy at the beginning of this Simpsons-excerpt, the one sitting on the bed wearing t-shirt with the black-red-golden flag!
http://de.truveo.com/Homer-singt-99-Luftballons-English-/id/803114413
Does the average American even know who Charlemagne (Karl der Große) was? Unfortunately, the people who dubbed this episode into German apparently did not, as evidenced here! (at 6:44)
http://www.clipfish.de/video/1194657/die-simpson-staffel-16-folge-17-das-grosse-fressen-22/1
April 10th, 2009 at 2:51 am
@Bird of Prey: Perfect. So if you just imagine Dent saying those things in a funny accent it is kinda hilarious. He has, in fact, demonstrated some 36 times in his posts that he has a sense of humor.
April 14th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
Jawohl. Btw, this sarcasm thing is really hard.
April 18th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
@Bird of Prey: Deutsche Synchronisationen saugen leider ziemlich oft.
April 21st, 2009 at 8:30 am
Anony:
> want the rest of the world to do what they say.
> That certainly worked well in the past, right?
As you might have noticed, it certainly did NOT work well in the past, and, even more interesting, WE learned something out of it and stopped screwing up the world.
YOU just continue screwing up.
April 21st, 2009 at 6:42 pm
@German: and you keep telling us what to do…
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:27 pm
In some points I totally agree. (Binge) drinking has become a real problem amongst some German youngsters. But hey, who can explain the following phenomenon to me? –> I remember having seen a documentary about shit-faced Amercian kids, teen girls showing their boobs to everyone who asked them, and youngsters having sex in any corner they could find….wait, I guess it was called “springbreak” - and I saw similar pictures from a place called Tijuana…I’m confused. How can this happen in a society where kids are way more protected than in Germany, where they are not allowed to drink alcohol and to have sex before marriage?
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:37 am
Anony:
Maybe. But that’s what happens when someone screws up. It might not be the worst thing to listen to advice instead of the usual “We’re the greatest, we’re the best, we’re the mightiest, we’re the most powerful and, um, we screwed up.”
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:20 pm
“Aus Fehlern lernt man was!”
“You learn stuff out of mistakes!”
German proverb
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:31 pm
@Dent: could you please diagnose “German” for me? Is he 68% Blamer, 32% Explainer, or what?
April 25th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Ohhh my gosh I am just 15 and I am riding the subway on my one ! Quick! Someone call the police ! hahaha
It must be horrible to be an american teenager when I imagine that my parents wouldn’t allow me to drive the buss or the subway … What the hell is wrong about it? ;D I think that’s the reason why american kids aren’t independitly at all ….But it isn’t true that we are allowed to drink everything ..16-beer/(sparkling) wine 18-everything
I think it is good just like it is :)..
I think it’s sooner laughable that americans get hysterical when they see some nude skin .. ;D
April 30th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
hi steve, dein blog ist lustig, aber die uhr auf deinem server geht falsch
April 30th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
äh, john, nicht steve
April 30th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
und die uhr geht auch gar nicht falsch..
naja, nothing for ungood..
May 16th, 2009 at 12:44 am
OK, so some German kids drink at flat-rate prices and some go into coma and die.
But has anyone ever counted the number of teens and young adults in the U.S. that overdosed on crack and cocaine? My guess is several thousand.
There’s no question that the U.S. is biggest hard drug consumer on a per capita basis in the world.
I heard the U.N. has a web page addressing this problem, but I’m too lazy
to look it up.
So get going guys and get me the numbers.
May 16th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
LOL - Oh, how can people take this post just so overly seriously?!
I had a laugh, BUT the whole BRAVO-deal I must say, is a good thing about Germany, and the fact that they learn about those things, be it through parents, school or a youth magazine.
I live in Argentina and kids have no access whatsoever to sexual education, plus their parents are usually prudes or have no clue or they don’t care, so lots of underage girls end up pregnant. Given that it’s a catholic country including abortion being illegal you can imagine the problems it produces.
When I lived in Germany I didn’t particularly like the kids there but by now I believe they are actually quite responsible and independent in comparison to some other countries.
June 3rd, 2009 at 10:01 pm
calypso, you have a problem with the term “dirty word”, but you are okay with “shame hair”?!
June 5th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Just been reading the comments to this mildy amusing article. My God! It’s true! Germans really have no sense of irony! Or is it just Bundesdeutschen?
June 5th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
“Germans really have no sense of irony! Or is it just Bundesdeutschen?”
Are there other Germans than Bundesdeutsche??
This could of course refer to German minorities in other countries, e.g. Russlanddeutsche. So far, so good. But my concern is that you might consider Austrians to be Germans. While from a historical point of view this is not that far-fetched, as far as I know calling a contemporary Austrian a German would trigger the same reaction as if calling a Welsh an Englishman…
June 8th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
> Not only will kids get the opportunity to hear dirty words on the radio and see naughty body parts on regular television
Uuuuuh…dreckige wörter und unanständige körperteile…ich glaube ich werde gerade etwas geil und beginne zwanghafter weise an mir herum zu fingern…habe vielleicht als kind zu viel davon in den unzensierten deutschen medien abbekommen…ich schätze dadurch haben sich in mir über all die jahre hinweg unbefriedigte sexuelle phantasien aufgestaut die sich jetzt mit all ihrer negativen kraft in mir entfalten und die ich jetzt irgendwie kompensieren muß…eindeutig hat mich das freizügige deutsche fernsehen schon in meinen kindertagen zu einem sex-maniac übelster sorte mutieren lassen. Das ist vergleichbar mit dem phänomen amerikanischer jugendlicher, die berieselt von unzensierten horror- und gewaltvideos- und spielen als erwachsene allesamt zu psychopathischen massenmördern werden. Ich finde unsere beiden länder könnten hier gut voneinander lernen: Am besten man zensiert ALLES: kraftausdrücke, sex UND gewalt. Da beide länder ja auf den wunderbaren fundamenten der seelenheil-spendenden christlichen ethik basieren, plädiere ich im namen unserer unschuldigen jugend für die radikale verbannung sämtlicher sendungen aus tv und radio, welche nichts mit bibelstunden oder dem züchten von bonsai-bäumen zu tun haben
June 9th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
you just envy our freedom and the fact that we’ll survive even though we cycle without knee pads
du lulli 
June 16th, 2009 at 5:25 am
“The Germans are either at your throat or at your feet.”
-Winston Churchill-
I’m wanna know why they never seem able to find the navel? Like the Swedes, e.g.
Same goes for television. Every time I’m in Germany and flip through the
channels after 11 PM there are always 2-3 stations where big-tittied not especially good-looking blondes and brunettes are shoving and massasging their jugs at you in a recumbent position. I find it disgusting, but in Germany it all appers to go under freedom of expression.
“Ich bin so geil, ruf mich an.”
Freedom of expression my ass, as Holden Caulfield would say.
Only a moron or sexual pervert would spend money to call these sluts.
Apparently enough idiots spend their hard earned dough though, as these “come on commercials” run every nite 7 days week.
There’s nothing left to the imagination. The producers of these salacious and nefarious sex boiler rooms ought to be convicted to work 2 years hard labor in a Chinese coal mine.
The mendacity of German TV is surreal and sick.
It’s no wonder the brutalization of German youth is getting worse every
year.
June 18th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
What?
You must use the car seat until 12 years.
You are allowed to drink Wine an Beer with 16.
You are allowed to drink the rest with 18.
June 24th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Hi folks!
There’s something I’d like to explain
Beer consumption under an age of 16 is no problem in Germany. Just pitch nonalcoholic beer to your children like Foster’s or Bud!
Drinking of beer in a young age is even necessary since you get your uniform with 18 years and have to practice marching all night long. Marching is a real challenge when your drunken.
We just send our children without schoolbus to school to save adminsitration costs. By their daily training our children will find their way home from almost everywhere. Thus police saves operating expense on searching for parents of abandoned children.
July 8th, 2009 at 12:13 am
Haha, I am laughing really hard reading through the comments, some Germans can be so serious and humorless; growing up in Germany, I gotta say it was awesome, the freedom we had and the love we felt is unbeatable! I hope I will be able to raise my kids like that in the USA
July 24th, 2009 at 10:56 am
And Germans show their kids how to do ‘things’ the right way.
It’s kind of shocking how Dr. Sommer enlightens young readers nowadays:
http://www.bravo.de/online/render.php?render=000009
July 27th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
have youe ever seen a foofball game on a saturday afternoon?
where all the papis watch there “ableger “running over the field
to get the ball an get a goal????
Of course they are standing there an they are shouting, screaming and all have heads in a colour of red tomato.
and if the “ableger” plays not as good as the papi expects it.
DANN MEIN LIEBER GIBTS KASALLA(Kasalla is an item that mees something like anger).
This is the truth…. bedauerlicherweise and so typical german…
August 20th, 2009 at 1:49 am
preglowing *rofl*
geiler Artikel! Und JA: I undastooded se eironie
August 26th, 2009 at 8:15 am
This was one of the best and fun articles I read for years! It’s a pity to see so many (predominantly German) people arguing about the article to be “right” or “wrong”.
I liked the “kneepads” and the “school buses with flashing lights stoping all the traffic on both sides of the street”! Very nice =D
zoku from GER
September 2nd, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Yes, I think that most of the parts written in this article are right,because nobody cares about what other people do…But not only the people in Germany do not care about other!!!I do not think that in America or England someone goes to children and say:”Hey, that is not good for you,stop drinking!” or “No,you are not allowed to go places by yourself”…Children have to know what is right for them by themselves and if somebody says to them that they do it wrong,they will do it again and nobody can do anything against that,but EVERYBODY(not only germans!) should care a little bit more about the others and help the kids to find their own good way for their lifes!
September 5th, 2009 at 11:38 am
I think that some parts of this article are extremed represented. In my opinion everybody first has to care about hisself.
September 8th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
In my opinion the text shows not the reality of the young generation of Germany because a part of the youth are often drinking alc on friday evening, but not all of them…
at this “hobby” exist in other countries too, not only in germany!
the argument, that the parents are not worried about their kids, is in my opinion fixed again of a part of the population.
some parents are to heavy worried about ther children, that the kids can´t live their own life and get some experiences of the life…
September 8th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
I think that this aticle is wrong, because the Germans don`t allow their kids this stuff. All this they do without the permission of their parents and I think that in America it isn´t different the law is harder but the kids do just the same how the kids in Germany.
September 8th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
I like your examples for the german, bad language.
But not every german people is like your text says.
In every country exist peoples, which drinks much. Not only in german.
mfg Alex
September 8th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
On the one hand I think they exaggerate when they say “German parents letting their kids do whatever they want”, because there are maybe only some parents who allowed their kids riding the subways of larger cities completely unaccompanied, but not every father and mother. Moreover American kids go places by themselves and drink alcohol too, although they are´nt allowed to. They are allowed to buy and drink alcohol with the age of 21, nevertheless they do it in younger ages than 21. Therefore I would say that American parents don´t really care about their kids.
On the other hand they are absolutely right when they say that Germans are more casual than Americans, because under the law Germans can buy beer and alcohol at the age of 16 or 18, while Americans can buy it at the age of 21. To conclude I would say, that the text is very one-sided.
September 9th, 2009 at 10:12 am
I was wondering: Is this an invasion by 10th graders from a German “Gymnasium”? Or what does 1En10 GyFa stand for?
September 9th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Ok, maybe its just a fact that german kids can do whatever they want and none of the adults take care of the children. But what is about American kids? With 18 years they can buy guns or something else, cause there is no arms law that forbid to buy guns. I think this is much worse than drinking. In my opinion all aged 16 years can decide what is the best for their life. Not only german kids do stuff. In other countries is the same situation. This text is really one-sided and not the whole truth.
September 10th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
@Stefan - I think you are correct. (1En 10 = 10th grade English?) Also, the comments are very guarded so that der Professor does not disapprove. To help them with their cross-cultural adventure, their social investigation of the morality of under-aged drinking, and their exploration of an internet blog, I would like to say the following:
@Tim, David, Alex, Andrej, Kevin, Julia, and Carina you are not correct about Amis. We do care about our children. When they go out on Friday night we make them take their guns with them for security. Then we don’t have to worry about them while we stay home and eat too much while watching TV from the sofa. Also, drinking is okay, as long as they do not end up dead from alcohol poisoning, aspirating on their own vomit after they pass out, or driving the car into a tree.
September 20th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
Boring article, failed to be interesting and/or funny.
Highlight: “preglowing”.
September 20th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
all of your Americans are pathetic, make myself sad to say I am among you. Germany has the lower crime, drug abuse, and alcohol abuse rate in the world. Just because some mothers so prude, it is sad, “oh no, my child will never do that” sad…… Sorry for the parents who do not realize what is truly going on with their children’s lives. (half American-half German)
September 30th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
@Rainer: Your half-English is what is pathetic.
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:05 am
Rainer, John is right. Why dont’cha learn correct American English before you post a comment.
I haven’t read lately of American youth stompinng two middle-age men to death.
There’s plenty of crime in Germany. So get off your high horse and look in your own backyard.
November 19th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
funny, but i believe the german word for “preglowing” should actually be translated as “pregaming”.
December 13th, 2009 at 2:43 am
Fantastic! I love your blog.
Ute, German in America
January 4th, 2010 at 11:19 pm
Drew, I reckon you’re “pre-deranged.” In the future when you open your mouth first put your brain in gear.
January 11th, 2010 at 8:22 am
Cry me [copulating] river. Lived here and there, and am happy to have grown up in Germany!
January 25th, 2010 at 11:57 am
Harry Hansen said:
“The Germans are either at your throat or at your feet.”
-Winston Churchill-
I’m wanna know why they never seem able to find the navel? Like the Swedes, e.g.
mhm, the naval in that case would be some naughty parts of your body. Are you sure you want us there?
January 26th, 2010 at 12:58 am
Linghtbringer, you troglodyte. The navel is considered the
middle. What’s the problem with that?
You’re not lightbringer, you need to find the light. Got it?
January 26th, 2010 at 8:55 am
Now my dear Harry Hansen,
you don’t seem to be a very polite or intelligent person.
Now I have to do as my german genes command me and explain the obvious which you are unable or dumb to see:
I know that naval is considered as the middle. It was a playing with words. You said that the germans can’t find the naval and quoted Churchill.
Now combining this: The middle between your throat and you feet are some interesting parts of you body which are often called the naughty body parts by the anglophones.
Hope you get it this time.
January 27th, 2010 at 8:57 pm
Good Lord Let Him See The Light.
I am neither dumb nor impolite. I just call a spade a spade.
“From the middle of your throat and your feet….blah blah..” How about from the middle of your BRAIN?
Naughty parts? Haven’t heard that word in ages.
How old is your English teacher? - 95 years?
It appears you’re holding a soliloquy here.
With all veracity I propose you continue your English studies before you post again so “something” intelligent will emanate from your comments.
PS: Are you sure you only have German genes?
January 28th, 2010 at 8:48 am
Dear Hansen,
now it’s official: You’re a complete homour- and brainless idiot. You don’t get a joke even if he hit you right in the balls.
“Naughty parts” was mentioned intentional in that way.
Also you like to mention my username. I’m sure you don’t get it that the name is also a reference to something. But I don’t want you to overload your tiny mental capacity to get it.
P.S. Are you sure that your human at last? It seems that you are more likly a mentally challenged ameba
January 28th, 2010 at 6:16 pm
Like I said, continue your English study, with emphasis on spelling and sentence configuration.
Bye and good luck, you’ll need it.
February 13th, 2010 at 6:59 am
Hey Harry Hansen
Yeah, the kids in America don’t stomp middle-aged men to death, instead they shoot them to death with semi-automatic pistols, often hitting smaller kids, pregnant women, and other innocents in the process.
For every German murder there’s quite a few more over here in America.
Get off the Germanophobic horse; it’s really boring.
February 15th, 2010 at 11:46 pm
Gee, this blog (especially including the comments) is FAR too funny.
“Not only will kids get the opportunity to hear dirty words on the radio and see naughty body parts on regular television, but they are also reading detailed instruction on how to do things only married people should being doing in the Bravo magazine that they have been subscribing to since they turned 11.”
Shouldn’t it be “should be doing”?
Kostas made a funny comment in view of the fact that the person commenting in German only two posts above his is actually American, not German.
As for “Life of Brian”, I think it’s pretty obvious that not only can Germans not be expected to get all the puns (why did I just mistype this as “punks”?) lost in translation, but neither are they likely to get all those culture-specific jokes. I’ve got the same problem with the Simpsons: nevermind the overdubbed version, but even if I were to view the original and comprehend everything (which is hard to do for me as I’m not used to spoken English that much, and still don’t know every piece of slang), lots of the gags are going to be lost on me because I’m still not intimately familiar with a lot of US pop culture. I’m not even sure I want to.
On the other hand, observing discussions among Americans discovering certain parts of European pop culture and getting hooked on them can be immensely amusing, really cute!
February 21st, 2010 at 8:21 am
Ohh yay!!!!! Here we have more nib[crap] Americans sticking their noses into other peoples business!!! THAT’S WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY NOW!!!! Let me tell all of you Germans and Americans how things really are in this country; which by the way is headed for a train wreck!
First of all, our teenagers here in the United States all do the same thing. That is why our juvenile court system is full. Just because our parents here in the U.S. are in complete denial does not mean that it does not happen here. Somethimes I wonder if that is not what this country was founded upon; I will explain that in a minute.
Secondly, I love my right to bear arms. However, this RIGHT may be taken away soon, as they are making our constitution not worth the paper it is written on. To bear arms in the United states you must have a gun permit and have no criminal record. However, it seems as though law makers want all of us to give up our personal protection or “guns” , so that the only people that will have firearms are illegal immigrants and convicted felons. Our politicians here are brilliant aren’t they?
Third of all, lets talk about the crime rate, abortion rate, aids, etc. The United States wins the gold medal!!
Fourth of all, lets get into school shootings. Hmmm, no one wants to talk about that do they? I wonder how that happens? Could it be because most Americans have to work so much that they don’t even have time to raise their own children? Could it be because teenagers have all the stress that grown adults endure? Could it be that some children are treated differently in school? For instance, the child who comes from a family who is not wealthy, or the child who has a handicap, or is considered “different” in any way shape form or fashion. The children who were tormenting these kids in school were raised by parents who are in complete denial, who teach their children that money is everything, and defines who the person is, or who have parents who simply do not have the time to properly raise their children. Most U.S. parents teach their children how to cheat, lie, fraud, bribe etc. by the first grade. Let me explain, the comment that was posted saying that Germans don’t care how their kids play sports. Well, at least they are not kissing their coaches arses trying to bribe them so that their children will automatically make the team. What does this teach our children. At least they are not giving huge bribes, or payoffs, oh I am so sorry I meant “Donations” to soroities, so that their children are the little “leaders” of the pack.
Fifth of all, our children are not allowed to ride subways, trains, etc. unsupervised because it is not safe. We have so many child molesters, kidnappers, etc. in this country that it is pathetic. Our legal system is unjust! If a person gets commited of child molesting, or murder then they usually get a pretty stiff sentence; and they should. However, if another person who commits the same crime has money, or any kind of political pull, gets a little probation, or in most cases get a non guilty verdict because of their high priced attorneys etc. Let me give you some examples. What about O.J. simpson, amazingly he was found not guilty, but at the same time was forced to pay the family MONEY in a wrongful death suit. How does that work? There was an attorney found guilty by a jury, “guess he forgot to pay them off” for child molestation, and got a whopping six month probation sentence!
Lets talk about capatialism. I think it is great! I think that the people who are successful worked hard and deserve to be rewarded. However, it has gone from capitalism to fraud, theft, and bribery. Politics demonstrates the ability to vote your self money. Look at all the lobbyist, etc. then you will know what I am talking about. Everybody gets a kick back. I hope after writing this article that I do not come up missing. Often times, ” whistle blowers” who might intefere with ones power and money might not ever be seen or heard from again.
I would also like to mention the fact that America has allowed so many “illlegal” immigrants into this country that it is just sickening. Before I am accused of discrimination ” as people in the United States always like to scream any chance they get”, I am not discriminating against anyone, I am merely stating facts. There has been tons of people from mexico flooding into the United States for years, and it was totally unregulated by our government. That does not say much anyway, because at this point in time I wonder if our government could even manage an ant farm! Here are some reasons why this should have been stopped. They come over here to this country and get jobs,” which people over here loved because it was cheap foreign labor” of course this drove down wages, which drove down our standard of living. If that wasn’t already enough, alot of them were using different names, claiming they were not working, so that they could be on welfare, medicade, unemployment, “though they were not even paying taxes” They were allowed to get home loans
” even though they were not citizens” and when they defaulted on the loan, they would simply go back home, or use another alias to do the same thing over again. I personally witnessed a mexican family buy a foreclosed home. One family member got a loan for the max. amount of this home, and then rented it out. He did not pay the mortgage, so the home was foreclosed upon once again. The renter lost out on this deal and so did the bank. There were five people in that family. They all did the exact same thing with that one house five different times. The United States can not seem to figure out why things went awry. Which there is a lot more to it than that, but then we have the nerve to keep borrowing money from china! We are no longer the worlds power-house and we are turning to a socialist country. The culture here is radically changing, and I wonder what the outcome will be?
In conclusion, AMERICA MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS ” MAYBE THERE WOULD BE LESS WARS”, CLEAN OUT YOUR OWN BACK YARD BEFORE YOU TRY TO INSULT GERMANS, AND WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN COUNTRY!! THERE ARE PLENTY OF WORRIES HERE! QUIT BEING A BUNCH OF GOSSIPING, LAZY, BUSY BODIES, AND DO SOMETHING TO HELP YOURSELVES!
P.S AND AT LEAST GERMANY DOESN’T HAVE THEIR SIX YEAR OLD DAUGTERS DRESS UP LIKE THEY ARE 22 YEARS OLD AND PUT ON A “SHOW”, “IM SORRY THEY CALL THAT A PAGENT HERE” FOR EVERY PERVERT THAT IS KNOWN TO MAN KIND!
GET A LIFE AMERICA!!
February 22nd, 2010 at 6:44 pm
Hey Jenn;
In the words of our favorite Russian-America, “Is this a great country, or what?!”
You really ought to go back on your meds…