About Nothing for Ungood
Just a site poking a little fun at life in Germany from an American perspective.
By the way, we love Germany. It is pretty awesome. Except for the weather.
Here are the things we love about Germany:
- Hofbräuhaus
- Neuschwanstein
- Oktoberfest
- Autobahn
- Rothenburg-ob-der-Tauber
- Black Forest Cuckoo Clocks
- Glockenspiel in Munich
- Irish pubs
This site is written by John. Here is a picture of me in Muenster, near where I live.
August 20th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Dear John,
thank you so much for a hilarious evening. Found this side by accident and could not stop reading.
Nearly all articles have a wonderful timing and are a pleasure to read. The mixture of truth (I saw myself here clearly,sometimes ;O), and humerous teasing is just great.
I just realise I might as well have written in German, I guess. But no, I will not rewrite all just to proof you wrong.
Danke und noch viel Erfolg mit der Seite.
LG Katja
October 23rd, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Hi John,
I’ve read many German-American or America-German blogs especially since I left my country to live in the US. This is by far the best blog I’ve seen. Congratulations, it’s funny, smart and entertaining!
Weiter so!
Bee
October 25th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Hi John, could you elaborate a little bit about your stay in Germany ? Since when ? How long ? It’s quite amazing that you hit so many subleties in such a short time.
October 25th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Sure, I left Germany about a year ago. I lived there for a couple months in ‘99, about a year 2000/2001, and about a year in 2006/2007. Lived in Hamburg, Bavaria, BW, and Niedersachsen.
October 27th, 2008 at 6:59 am
Selten so gelacht …
October 28th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Hey John,
this is an awesome site….thanks for all the work and time you put in it
Liebe Grüße
Claire
October 29th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
Haaaaa… die Seite ist der Hammer und trifft es total! Ich werd nem amerikanischen Freund, der seit wenigen Monaten in Deutschland lebt, mal den Link weiterschicken
Keep it up!
November 3rd, 2008 at 7:02 am
Really a great site. I read about you in the new issue of the german computer magazine c’t. This is really a big compliment for you and your site. You can be proud of you.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Ich hab auch in der c’t von Deiner Seite gelesen, sie aufgerufen und in einem Zug durchgelesen. Ich bin schwer begeistert. Du weißt, wo es wehtut
Freue mich schon auf Deine nächsten Einträge!
November 6th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
I have spent many years living in Germany, and feel that it’s my second home. Germans are wonderful and maddening at the same time. The maddening part is when they are totally convinced that there is only ONE right way to do things.
Sorry, that’s a very limiting way to view life. But on the wonderful side, they are some of the most interesting people to have an intellectual conversation with, and their loyalty as friends is amazing.
Eileen
November 20th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Hehe…light up my boring evening!
Love your blog John :))
December 13th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
herrlich! danke für die vielen lachanfälle. und um meine lieblings-ami-floskel zu benutzen:
you did a good job!
December 16th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Good giggle! I am an Expat and live in a place called Rain in Bavaria (should be called snow this week). My passport says British, sure, but I am an expat from the Lueneburg heath area. Bavaria is very much a culture shock for me.
Another thing: about German women - they won’t even go to the mailbox without the full monty of make up and proper clothes - not your dressing gown…
December 18th, 2008 at 8:23 am
Got that one from a colleague by email. Thought it fits in this website like no other, at this time of the year. Merry X-mas!
from Michel (http://bumsbutzener-gumpfen.blogspot.com/)
When the snow falls wunderbar
And the children happy are,
When is Glatteis on the street,
And we all a Glühwein need,
Then you know, it is soweit:
She is here, the Weihnachtszeit
Every Parkhaus ist besetzt,
Weil die people fahren jetzt
All to Kaufhof, Mediamarkt,
Kriegen nearly Herzinfarkt.
Shopping hirnverbrannte things
And the Christmasglocke rings.
Merry Christmas, merry Christmas,
Hear the music, see the lights,
Frohe Weihnacht, Frohe Weihnacht,
Merry Christmas allerseits…
Mother in the kitchen bakes
Schoko-, Nuss- and Mandelkeks
Daddy in the Nebenraum
Schmücks a Riesen-Weihnachtsbaum
He is hanging auf the balls,
Then he from the Leiter falls…
Finally the Kinderlein
To the Zimmer kommen rein
And it sings the family
Schauerlich: “Oh, Christmastree!”
And everybody in the house
Is packing die Geschenke aus.
Merry Christmas, merry Christmas,
Hear the music, see the lights,
Frohe Weihnacht, Frohe Weihnacht
Merry Christmas allerseits…
Mama finds under the Tanne
Eine brandnew Teflon-Pfanne,
Papa gets a Schlips and Socken,
Everybody does frohlocken.
President speaks in TV,
All around is Harmonie,
Bis mother in the kitchen runs:
Im Ofen burns the Weihnachtsgans.
And so comes die Feuerwehr
With Tatü, tata daher,
And they bring a long, long Schlauch
And a long, long Leiter auch.
And they crying: “Wasser marsch!”
Weihnachtsfest is now im Arsch.
Merry Christmas, merry Christmas,
Hear the music, see the lights,
Frohe Weihnacht, Frohe Weihnacht
Merry Christmas allerseits!
(Autor unbekannt)
December 18th, 2008 at 9:06 am
John, this is brilliant! Want to read more of that kind!
Grüße
Winfried
January 28th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Apparently, I am one of the only Americans in America who has been reading your blog. Spent 8 hours on it yesterday, because I could not stop. I am researching my family ancestry and I have recently contacted “cousins” in Mittelfranken, so I find everything German interesting.
Loved reading about Swabians (sp?). My grandmother used to talk about how “thrifty” they are. Loved reading about beer additives. Our local brewing giant Anheuser-Busch markets a Budweiser product that has Clamato juice in it - yummy! (By the way, when you drop a shot glass of bourbon into a beer it is called a Boilermaker…) I have an expat Brit neighbor with whom it is necessary to feign interest in soccer (excuse me, fussball). I do think all of Germany is like Bavaria. Isn’t that also where the Black Forest is?
And I have tried to actually learn to speak German. However, I use Babelfish to translate my correspondence and I can see now why my German penpals do not write back. They are so torn between actually communicating and correcting my grammar that their brains must explode.
Would be interested in a blog entry about what Germans think of Americans digging into their ancestral past. Is it a major presumptuous invasion of privacy or seen as a tourism booster or what? It probably wouldn’t be so bad if Americans didn’t all think they were related to royalty somewhere in the murky past. (My surname is Wilhelm and I am particularily embarrased by Wilhelms who think they are related to the Kaiser…I wonder if American Ludwigs think they are inheritors of Neueschwanstein, or at least, lay claim to Disneyland.)
Gruss (my computer does not have an ess-tset!)
John
January 29th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
BTW people in Wisconsin actually do play “Sheepshead”. I noticed someone mentioned Ami’s were inferior because they don’t play “Schlafkopf”, but I’m here to tell you that we have the same excuse to get out of the house and swill beer!
Oh, and isn’t the family motto of the Hohenzollerans “Nothing without God”? Please tell me that is the inspiration for the title! VERY funny if it is! Very odd coincidence if not!
John
January 30th, 2009 at 12:47 am
“Nothing for Ungood” is an intentionally TOO literal translation of “Nichts für ungut!” It means that although you have just criticized or even insulted someone, you didn’t have any bad intentions. (Either it was meant to be the constructive, therefore well-meaning sort critic or just a friendly joke.) In a way, it is the verbal counterpart of the winking smiley…
In conclusion it has not much to do with the Hohenzollerns, although you have to ask your namesake John to be sure if he didn’t have them in mind too after all.
January 30th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
I just thought that “Nichts fur unGott” might be the Deutsch equivalent. But I see that it would not translate the same. Probably “Nichts ohne Gott”.
In America we sometimes say, “Don’t take this personal but…” meaning, “Get prepared because I am going to criticize you but it is my opinion that you should not become angry about what I say.” We say it BEFORE the insult so that we can carry through with the insult without feeling guilty about it. If the insultee gets angry, the insultor says, “I TOLD not to take it personal!” to indicate it is the insultee’s fault that they are angry. Cool, huh?
I guess “take it personal” more literally translates into “do not let this emotionally hurt you”.
We also say, “It’s just business” meaning, “I’m doing my job (work) and you should not blame me for hurting you”. That would probably be most equivalent to “Nichts fur ungut”. So next time you need to say that, you can summon up “Nehmen Sie es nicht persönlich, aber…” as a pre-emptive strike or afterwards, “Dude! Es ist nur Geschäft, mann!”
John
February 19th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Hi John,
I just stumbled over your blog and I think it’s hilarious
!
.
.
It’s so amazingly funny seeing “us Germans” from a totally different point of view
I’ve just subscribed to your RSS feed after some minor problems (my Thunderbird has some problems with the feeds2-Version of your RSS-Feed, but with the feeds-Version it worked).
I definitely hope for more to come
With kind regards, Kenny.
March 6th, 2009 at 10:48 am
Only six weeks…then I did my first vacation to the USA. Reading forums about trips to the us, I found this blog.
And I just pi… my pants. I’m still laughing.
Geile Seite! (Translate this one in english…HA got ya ;))
Keep your good work! I put this site on my favorite links!
March 31st, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Look- I undertstand that you’re ‘poking fun’ and that I am now labelled as taking myself too seriously, but really, your blog is embarassing. You make yourself and your country look stupid and arrogant, I’m confused as to how so many people can find this entertaining or even amusing. You’re not doing anyone any favours- the American stereotype to the rest of the world is never a positive thing (you seriously believe you invented democracy?!) thanks to the assistance of you and the people that agree with you.
April 1st, 2009 at 11:32 pm
Dear John,
outstanding blog; I’m European, lived in Germany for nine years, now in LA.
You have really hit the nail on the head about Germany and its lovely people (ich bin selber ‘Wahldeutscher’).
Weiter so!
June 25th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Hello John,
at present I found your side with a little help of usaerklaert.
Having found this blog I liked it.
It is funny to see my country “mit den Augen eines Außenstehenden”.
Good stuff
October 11th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Ja, ich stimme zu, deine Seite ist wie dein Buch klasse! Ich hab’s auf einer Zugfahrt komplett gelesen (deutsche Züge sind nicht sooooo langsam …).
Als Gegenstück kann ich nur das Buch “Gebrauchsanweisung für die USA” von Adriano Sack empfehlen. Aber nicht ganz so lustig, trotzdem sehr interessant.
Yes, I agree, your site is great like your book. I’ve been reading it during a train journey (German trains are not thaaaat slooow …).
As the counterpart I recommend the book “Gebrauchsanweisung für die USA” by Adriano Sack. It’s not quite that funny but anyway very interesting.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:41 am
Hi, Also John.
I think, the best translation for “Nichts für ungut” is “No hard feelings”.
“Nihil sine deo” is the family motto of the romanian Hohenzollern dynasty.
and @ John:
Bought your book, read it, liked it. ‘though I think, I’d have even more fun reading it in english.
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:07 pm
“Nothing for Ungood”
Hab’s gelesen und mußte sehr oft lachen.
Teilweise ist die deutsche Mentalität sehr gut beschrieben.
Man merkt deutlich, dass es von einem Ami *sorry :-)* geschrieben wurde. Aber ich nehme Sätze wie :”Alles Gute kommt aus den USA und alles ist Größer” mal als Selbstironie hin. Es hat der Lesefreude nicht geschmälert. Als Deutscher denkt man sich nur hier und da “typisch Amerikaner”.
Ich gebe zu, wir deutsche haben unsere kleinen Macken (vieleicht sind auch ein paar recht große dabei), doch bin ich auf einige auch sehr stolz wie zum Beispiel unseren hang zur Perfektion und Genauigkeit.
Für mich ist Deutschland einfach das großartigste Land der Welt!
Ich hoffe man bekommt mehr von deinen Erfahrungen mit uns Deutschen und unserer Kultur zu lesen. Ich habe das Lesen von “Nothing for Ungood” sehr genossen und freue mich auf mehr.
Grüße aus dem “alten Europa”
Matthias
December 6th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Hi John,
ich habe dein Buch an einem Tag gelesen und fand es klasse! Ich lese sonst sehr langsam und bin nur schwer zu begeistern solltest du wissen! Ich bin sehr oft in Amerika und habe auch einige Jahre dort gelebt und finde daher den Perspektivwechsel sehr amüsant und vorallem wahr! Ich hoffe es gibt einen 2. Band!
Grüße Anne
January 9th, 2010 at 5:20 pm
This is a terrible homepage and as a German i feel deeply and truly insulted. I have spent the last 5 months in the US and trust me: it would be just as easy to create such a childish and ignorant blog about this country!
January 13th, 2010 at 6:38 pm
Tini Get over it!!
Wenn man sich nicht über sich selbt lachen kann und Dinge einfach mal etwas mit Abstand betrachten sollte man ehrlich gesagt schon gar nicht den Versuch starten einen Blog mit dem Namen “Nichts Für Ungut” zu lesen.
Ich denke jedem der im Ausland lebt geht es doch in Sachen interkulturellem Verständins genauso. Der eine sieht es als kindisch und ignorant, der andere als witzig und gut beobachtet.
Du bist der eine, ich der andere
January 25th, 2010 at 10:26 am
Hey John,
I LOVE your blog! I am American and I have lived in Germany for three years and read your website whenever I need a good laugh. The irony is just HILARIOUS!
Thank you and keep up the good work!
January 30th, 2010 at 1:38 pm
@Also John:
First, let me confess: I am German
Since North America is large and Germany small and far away, one might not be astonished that, from your perspective, all of Germany is like Bavaria and the Black Forest is in Bavaria. Well, Bavaria is in the South-East of Germany and the Black Forest in the South-West (in Baden-Württemberg). I think people living in the Black Forest would not like to be called Bavarians and vice versa …
I would also like to comment on what you have written about Americans trying to find their ancestors: “… about what Germans think of Americans digging into their ancestral past. Is it a major presumptuous invasion of privacy or seen as a tourism booster or what?” None of that has ever come to my mind, though I am aware that many Americans like to find as much information about their ancestors as they can. I just think it might be due to the fact that the history of immigration to North America is fairly “young”, so people like to know where their ancestors came from.
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:13 pm
@CZ
I was being ironic about the Schwarzwald being in Bayern…I know otherwise. I have actually learned much about “German” countries while reseaching my family roots. (There are 3 different “Wilhelmthals” over there!) The changing borders of your countries have made me learn much of the history of your region of the World too. Consequently, I have made several pen-pals in Landeck,Tirol and regularly correspond with my recently discovered third cousin in Velbert, Germany through Facebook, which I thoroughly enjoy!
My question was really posted to ascertain if I was being an “Ugly American” in my pursuit. So far, I have had mixed reactions, from very disinterested, to wonderfully helpful, to people interested in what happened to their ancestors who came to Amerika. I highly recommend the experience to my fellow Ami descendants of German immigrants. It has really opened a new (Old) world for me.
I came across this blog in my research and while there is a lot of poking fun at Germans, the underlying theme is also how ignorant Americans are of anything outside of our borders and revealing our ethno-centric filter for viewing the affairs of the World. And curiously, it turns out there are German bloggers who are not much different…The funny thing is, we are not so removed from each other, our common ancestors for the most part having arrived 3 or 4 generations ago. We share many of the same beliefs, mannerisms, words, and quirky personality traits. Grandpa WILHELM used to say, “The apples don’t fall far from the tree!” and he was more correct than he knew!
February 4th, 2010 at 1:26 am
Tini and Jess B.: American arrogance and ignorance is sometimes subtly, sometimes explicitly, also being laughed at in the book and in this blog.
Tini, sorry if you have been having any bad experiences in the states. Cultural differences are really hard at first.
Sarcasm is such a huge part of American culture. Think of how people speak, e.g. “I just like it that they screwed me over”. Very common. I don’t think there is any typical German language equivalent where one says that one likes something one doesn’t like to emphasize the dislike. Ok? Go from there.
February 10th, 2010 at 12:07 pm
You had me until the Autobahn. Some people may like feeling airborne in a car or having someone rocket past them at warp speed, but as an American living in Hamburg, I have learned to truly appreciate U.S. speed limits, which heretofore, I decried. After being here, I wouldn’t even laugh if they tried to bring back 55mph in the States. It is simply inconceivable to me how a country that prides itself on health and wellness does not have a speed limit. Oh, wait, I remember…car lobby…kinda like our gun lobby. But, hope springs eternal, and hopefully one day, both lobbies will be defeated in their respective countries.
February 24th, 2010 at 5:42 pm
Thanks for the laugh; I needed that. One can only take so much Berliner Schnauze.
March 29th, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Hallo John,
ich habe Dein Buch verschlungen und es - ganz im Gegensatz zu Schreiberin Eva Wolf (siehe oben) - seeeehr lustig gefunden. An vielen Stellen habe ich laut losgelacht.
Ich freue mich schon sehr auf ein weiteres Buch (!???), denn es gibt garantiert noch tausend andere Dinge auf so eine charmante und witzige Art zu analysieren!
Mir fiel übrigens auf, dass Du in den Beispielen welche Du aus Deinem blog (am Ende des Buches) zitierst häufig in Lautsprache die Übersetzung gibst.
Ist es nicht (auch wieder so eine komische deutsche Art etwas gerade tun zu sollen statt “nicht” zu tun) besser, um bei dem Beispiel im Buch zu bleiben: “Ick be-donke-a mick by eenan reckt herts-lick” das ausgesprochene deutsche ‘ch’ zu ersetzen durch das englisch ’sh’ wie “shining”, also : Ish be-donke-a mish by eenan resht herts-lish”??
Denn das “ick” und “mockte” (in der Aussprache) macht ja das amerikanische Deutsch gerade so lustig!
Ich werde das Buch auf “alle Fälle weiter empfehlen”!
Liebe Grüsse aus Sachsen (einem Bundesland, dass Du leider nicht besucht hast - es aber beim nächsten Mal unbedingt tun solltest, denn bei uns ist wieder alles anders)
THANKS FOR THIS BOOK!!!!
Jana
March 30th, 2010 at 12:22 am
Hi John,
your blog is a great read! You really hit the nail on the head
I can very much appreciate what you wrote, as a German who lived for 9 years in the US, then for 5 more years in Britain. Being away for such a long time opens the eyes to exactly these quirks that you noticed - some of the things in Germany now appear weird to me! Of course, I could now also write something from the opposite perspective: seeing the US (and the UK) from the perspective of a German foreigner. There are a couple of weird things too…
Maybe I will write a book about that trinity US-GE-UK
Many greetings,
Reinhold
April 2nd, 2010 at 8:41 am
Habedere John,
cools biachl!
wen a ned oes stimmt wos drin steht, du host recht das bayern as schenste in deitschland is.
i hoff du host koane brobleme das i a bayerisch gsrim hob
weida so
April 29th, 2010 at 9:06 pm
Once again, repeating my comment from the “Germans eat 1.7 times faster” page, ze Germans often miss the point about humor. That is, of course, the first thing that gets lost in translation, but I’m happy to see that so many Germans are nevertheless able to recognize irony and friendly, harmless cajoling, and are big fans of your work.
I don’t know where Jess B. hails from, but I would challenge Tini to do as she threats and make such a blog as yours. One look at National Lampoon’s European Vacation should show her that Americans are indeed able to laugh at themselves. The problem is, no one gives a [hoot] what the Germans think about Americans, so she would probably have less success by default.
While the Germans seem to have a lot of fun insulting Americans for being so stupid, cultureless, fat and annoying, they do nothing but soak up American culture - TV series, fad diets, movies, music, and every “neueste Trend aus den USA.”
I, too, think Americans are bekloppt every time I make it back to visit. I’ll probably never leave Germany, but I’ll never give up America as my home.
Thanks for combining my two worlds in such a fun-loving way!!
Keep up the good work!!
Editor’s Note: Thanks for the comments. Sorry for the censorship. I try to keep it FCC compliant here.
May 2nd, 2010 at 2:30 am
I have to admit I’m guilty of “soaking up” American culture, to an extent, at least regarding TV shows … there are almost no German TV shows that would be entertaining in providing subject matter interesting for an educated person (even if American TV shows may be silly and even offend the viewer’s intelligence at times, if they’re still entertaining enough and the offence is not too harsh in general, willing suspense of disbelief is going to take care of this). I don’t watch many films, though I don’t know many German films that would be interesting for me, either (again, subject matter is the problem). As for music, I consume a balanced (and rather varied) diet of (mostly) underground(-ish) European and American (mostly) rock (or metal) music (from various decades), but I don’t care for, or rather can’t stand (current) American mainstream rock. I don’t follow trends in either area, so I’m still free to rant at the inanity of American culture and the entertainment industry at large.
May 3rd, 2010 at 5:26 pm
Hi John, just finished reading your book Nothing-for-Ungood. It was a great pleasure to imagine the american view of Germany and especially germans. Many parts were familiar to me as an german citizen. I hope you may omit my probably not perfect english writing.
Since I was several times on business trips to the USA (working for a big american company in Germany) I recognized how US-american people act and react. As well that some of your laws seem very strange to me considering that USA is a “free” country.
On the contrary to your book, I think that a german could write a similar book of the behaviour and thoughts of american people.
Anyway, please keep on going your website. It is fun and hopefully lead to a better understanding to both sides of the atlantic.
Greetings to the USA, especially Boise, Idaho
July 18th, 2010 at 2:00 pm
Nee !
Sachen gibt`s , die gibts garnicht…
… scheinbar aber wirklich gibt es sie doch!
Ich find`s sehr lustig und sehr direkt formuliert. Man glaubt es kaum, wie “schräg” (= sonderbar) das Verhalten von Menschen und das Darstellen von Dingen aus anderen Ländern sich äußert. Noch sonderbarerweise, wie verfälschend die Wahrnehmung ist, je weiter man vom Ursprungsland sich gegenüber anderen darstellen möchte.
Grüsse von Dirk Bergemann