Strange stuff in Germany - Trophy Toilets

April 18th, 2008
I don’t know if these things exist in other countries, but one thing Americans all find weird in Germany are the trophy toilets. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, they are also commonly referred to as poo-shelf toilets.I don’t know what these things are about, but I have heard it gives you the chance to do a little self-diagnosis of your bowel sample, and maybe help you to decide to change up your diet or something. Whatever the reason, these Leistungstoiletten are pretty weird to non-Germans. German<br> Trophy Toilet
trophy toilett

deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid

Germans wonder why Americans think Germans all love David Hasselhoff

April 17th, 2008

Germans universally love David Hasselhoff, that’s no secret. The mystery is why do they all act surprised when they find out Americans universally know of their love.

The Hoff has done things that everyone loves. He was the star of Knight Rider, which should be enough for one man, but his career didn’t end there. David also starred in Bay Watch, a tv show featuring people running in bikinis in slow motion. Hasselhoff even caused the Berlin Wall to fall. That’s a lot of greatness for one man.

What sets the Germans’ love for David Hasselhoff apart from the rest of the world’s admiration, is the fact that Germans actually bought Hasselhoff’s albums, whereas nobody else in the world even knows that he made music.

So, Germans, if you are listening, stop acting surprised that we know you love David Hasselhoff. And take down those David Hasselhoff posters from your wall.

deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid

The Hoff

Walking with ski poles is a hobby

April 17th, 2008

Nordic WalkerGermans came up with a new English term that doesn’t really exist to invent a goofy “sport”, Nordic Walking. Germans can’t just go for a stroll outside, they need everyone to know they are being athletic by walking in expensive Nordic Walking gear and carrying ski poles.

To quote a German website hawking nordic walking wares, “Nordic Walking is a new, completely revolutionary movement-concept.” It used to be that old people hiked around with a stick, but when you use two sticks, suddenly its a revolution in movement. Awesome.

Strange.

deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid

Germans think they speak better English than they do

April 17th, 2008

First of all, this is certainly a case of throwing stones in glass houses here, but all Germans make the same mistakes when they speak English. Learning these common mistakes will help you communicate.

First, the most annoying, Germans think Handy means cell phone. Telling them that the word Handy is not English for cell phone will make you endure a horrendous joke about how a Schwäbian guy actually came up the term. Do not tell them its not called a Handy in English under any circumstance, just know that they are talking about a mobile phone and move on.

Beamer is not a BMW, it is a projector.

Eggzill is a spreadsheet program from Microsoft. A warning from first hand experience here is in order. After hearing your German colleagues talk about using Microzoft Vord, Eggzill, and Axis, do not call the other program Microsoft Proyekt, like you think your German colleagues would pronounce it. They will make fun of you for being stupid, if you do.

Actual does not mean actual to a German. To a German actual means current, or up-to-date. For some reason they think aktuell = actual, which gets super annoying, since every German will always make this mistake till they die, no matter how many times you tell them.

Fitness Studio is a gym. Sounds like you’re going to get filmed while you work out, but no worries, it’s just a gym.

Der Smoking is a tuxedo.

Mobbing gives you the image of an angry mob of 50 people ready to kill you, but in German it is any form of harassment or mistreatment, especially in the work place by coworkers or management.

Informations, trainings, etc. Germans make up plural forms of words you can’t really do that with, which sounds pretty ridiculous.

Lucky means happy to Germans. Kind of weird since most Germans use the word happy now and then, as in “This film is a happy end.” By the way Germans, if you are listening, you mean “This movie has a happy ending.”

An Oldtimer to a German means a vintage car, not your grandpa.

A shooting is not what happens on Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard once a day; Germans use it to mean a photo shoot.

Shrimps is the German word for shrimp, even though they could use their own lanuage, the Germans prefer to misuse ours.

A Body bag in Germany is not what the authorities take dead people to the morgue in, but rather a back pack or a fanny pack.

deutsche Übersetzung für Astrd

Body bag

German signs tell you what the speed limit isn’t

April 17th, 2008

German roads have a certain speed limit based on what type of road they are. For example, everyone knows the beloved Autobahn has no speed limit, but also a smaller category of streets, the Autostraße, also has no speed limit in most cases. However, certain stretches of these roads do have speed limits because of any number of factors that would make driving at 250 km\h a tad dangerous.

But there are other types of streets that do have speed limits, and your key to successful driving in Germany is being able to determine what type street you are currently driving on, because in their twisted logic, Germans think it makes sense to tell you what the speed limit isn’t, instead of what it is. Let’s take the following sign as an example:

60 kmh zone ended

Simple, right? There is no speed limit because the restriction has been lifted. Not so easy, since all you know now is that the speed limit is not 60. How easy would it have been to put 100 kmh on the sign, or just stripes to let you know its unlimited? It doesn’t matter. Every German will argue until they are blue in the face that it makes perfect sense to tell you what the speed limit isn’t. This is probably because they paid $2,000 to get a driver’s license, so they must know better.

deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid